A Christmas Confession
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 2,163
A Christmas Confession
This is my second Christmas without my eldest daughter. You see, about 23
months ago she got in her car and drove away. She left everything, her three beautiful girls, her husband, her purse, phone, clothes,toothbrush, ALL personal belongings, and just drove away.
She was an amazing ,devoted mother and wife. There was absolutely no indiction that there was a problem, when she got in the car and drove away, the baby was not even two years old, my daughter in her full capacity would never have done this. BUT she did, the baby doesn't even remember her. And neither her children or I have heard from her since. Both of her sisters have been in contact with her, they tell me she is doing alright, but I have many different thoughts, ( Like who in their right mind leaves their kids) What the hell is she doing, drugs, boozing, postpardum depression, did she fall and bump her head, has she gone mad?
This is the daughter that has a dangerous career,(i know sounds like a twisted movie plot) and I am not sure you can just quit doing what does, but I am still stuck on Mom's don't just leave their kids, it's so over my head, I have nothing to grasp at. I am just lost.
Needless to say, the last 18 months have been hell on all of us. The girls have really paid the price for their mother's actions/choices or whatever the hell this is. Thank goodness, as a family, we are sticking together,( my two other daughters are devoted aunts) and doing the best we can to restore normalcy to the kids lives.
I have tried to contact her many times, never a response. I try to apply so much of the wisdom I have acquired here, I have had to let go, and live it the best way we can. We have to go forward without her...... for now.... maybe for always.......
But it's Christmas, and I have three little girls in my bed tonight, that are so very excited about Santa's morning arrival, and as a family, we will have a wonderful celebration, But as a mom, I miss my baby, my firstborn, I am incomplete without her, I worry, I am clueless, I just effin hurt..... I just do not understand................
months ago she got in her car and drove away. She left everything, her three beautiful girls, her husband, her purse, phone, clothes,toothbrush, ALL personal belongings, and just drove away.
She was an amazing ,devoted mother and wife. There was absolutely no indiction that there was a problem, when she got in the car and drove away, the baby was not even two years old, my daughter in her full capacity would never have done this. BUT she did, the baby doesn't even remember her. And neither her children or I have heard from her since. Both of her sisters have been in contact with her, they tell me she is doing alright, but I have many different thoughts, ( Like who in their right mind leaves their kids) What the hell is she doing, drugs, boozing, postpardum depression, did she fall and bump her head, has she gone mad?
This is the daughter that has a dangerous career,(i know sounds like a twisted movie plot) and I am not sure you can just quit doing what does, but I am still stuck on Mom's don't just leave their kids, it's so over my head, I have nothing to grasp at. I am just lost.
Needless to say, the last 18 months have been hell on all of us. The girls have really paid the price for their mother's actions/choices or whatever the hell this is. Thank goodness, as a family, we are sticking together,( my two other daughters are devoted aunts) and doing the best we can to restore normalcy to the kids lives.
I have tried to contact her many times, never a response. I try to apply so much of the wisdom I have acquired here, I have had to let go, and live it the best way we can. We have to go forward without her...... for now.... maybe for always.......
But it's Christmas, and I have three little girls in my bed tonight, that are so very excited about Santa's morning arrival, and as a family, we will have a wonderful celebration, But as a mom, I miss my baby, my firstborn, I am incomplete without her, I worry, I am clueless, I just effin hurt..... I just do not understand................
Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Oregon
Posts: 138
Thank goodness you are there for the three girls. They would be lost without you! I really wish you a Merry Christmas and for one day at least peace for yourself. You didn't cause this, this was a choice she made. No matter how hard it is and I cannot even try to understand how you feel I can only say I'm glad your being Grandma to girls that need a wonderful woman in there life now and forever.
Bless you and your family.
Bless you and your family.
box of chocolates
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Texas
Posts: 1,013
Thats eerie that she left everything and just left. I can feel your pain...this most have been confussing stressful and worrisome as a mother. Ill pray for your daughter. That she finds serenity and hope and
That one day she is mindful of her choices and finds her way home.
In the meantime what a lucky bunch of girls to have a loving grandmother to be there for them as you have. Merry Christmas to you and blessed be !
That one day she is mindful of her choices and finds her way home.
In the meantime what a lucky bunch of girls to have a loving grandmother to be there for them as you have. Merry Christmas to you and blessed be !
Forum Leader
Join Date: Dec 2008
Posts: 10,944
Merry Christmas, Marie!
It sounds as though the girls are surrounded by loving family. I'm sure that seeing those precious girls getting ready for bed just reminded you of your daughter and what she was like growing up. I'm sorry that her daughters have had to struggle because she simply left.
I don't know if you will ever have the answers you want from your daughter, but I hope that you can still be present and enjoy the rest of your family and those precious grandchildren! You deserve that joy and so do they!
It sounds as though the girls are surrounded by loving family. I'm sure that seeing those precious girls getting ready for bed just reminded you of your daughter and what she was like growing up. I'm sorry that her daughters have had to struggle because she simply left.
I don't know if you will ever have the answers you want from your daughter, but I hope that you can still be present and enjoy the rest of your family and those precious grandchildren! You deserve that joy and so do they!
Member
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: PA
Posts: 985
While married to my XAH I learned that he had abandoned two young boys. It had been twenty years. They reconnected and we learned that they had a hard life but took the opportunity to rise above it. Both had been addicted at one time - one was sober and the other came seem to stay sober. One got sober when he started having his own children expecting to be there for them. The other had three children and three marriages and leaves everyone behind having learned nothing. The sober one understands now - while the one in an active addiction does not understand and only manifests anger.
I am focusing on the fact that these little girls have someone to love them. It will mean the world to them. Your don't have to understand what your daughter did - just learn what an addiction does to people's lives and not just the people who love them from the readings here. I am certain from your post that you gave your daughter your best love and this is about her problem.
Have a wonderful Christmas with your family.
I am focusing on the fact that these little girls have someone to love them. It will mean the world to them. Your don't have to understand what your daughter did - just learn what an addiction does to people's lives and not just the people who love them from the readings here. I am certain from your post that you gave your daughter your best love and this is about her problem.
Have a wonderful Christmas with your family.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 1,452
Marie, I am so sorry for your loss, and your grand daughters' loss. There is so much grief when someone you love does something so incomprehensible.
Now you are grandmother and mother to three little ones, and may the joy of being Santa light your heart!
ShootingStar1
Now you are grandmother and mother to three little ones, and may the joy of being Santa light your heart!
ShootingStar1
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Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Starting over all over again
Posts: 4,426
Goodness, Marie, the holidays must be so difficult for you, and yet you are posting in other threads and reaching out to help. Like ohters have said, those three little girls are very fortunate to have you in their life.
As to why people go crazy and have such radical changes of personality, I have no idea. I hear a lot of people sharing similar stories in meetings. At least I have the explanation that the behavior of my ex can be somewhat explained by her addiction to pills. It's not much comfort, but at least it's something.
I am so sorry that you are hurting for your daughter, I can't even imagine what you are going thru over the holidays. I think it's admirable that you can set that aside for a few moments in order to tend to your grandchildren. I am keeping you, and your family in my prayers.
Mike
As to why people go crazy and have such radical changes of personality, I have no idea. I hear a lot of people sharing similar stories in meetings. At least I have the explanation that the behavior of my ex can be somewhat explained by her addiction to pills. It's not much comfort, but at least it's something.
I am so sorry that you are hurting for your daughter, I can't even imagine what you are going thru over the holidays. I think it's admirable that you can set that aside for a few moments in order to tend to your grandchildren. I am keeping you, and your family in my prayers.
Mike
Living in a Pinkful Place
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Louisiana
Posts: 7,545
((Marie))
My heart & prayers go out to you ~
Mr. PINK & I too are raising a granddaughter ~ althought there are many many blessings ~ it is not an easy task.
prayers of comfort for you for strength, wisdom, courage and grace ~ and for rest because I'm sure you need the rest, for your physical body & your emotional heart.
I hope that you have the ability to get time for yourself to take care of you - that is the hardest part for me ~ time for self - with 2 jobs & a full time 8 yr old, plus keeping up a home it is hard to fit that in for me ~ I can only imagine with 3 little ones how difficult it must be for you ~
But as I am reminded by my Sponsor ~ God provides the tools when the situation arises ~
I will also continue my prayers for your Daughter ~ that whatever her path, that someday, somehow ~ there could be healing between you & her daughters too.
gentle pink hugs for all ~
My heart & prayers go out to you ~
Mr. PINK & I too are raising a granddaughter ~ althought there are many many blessings ~ it is not an easy task.
prayers of comfort for you for strength, wisdom, courage and grace ~ and for rest because I'm sure you need the rest, for your physical body & your emotional heart.
I hope that you have the ability to get time for yourself to take care of you - that is the hardest part for me ~ time for self - with 2 jobs & a full time 8 yr old, plus keeping up a home it is hard to fit that in for me ~ I can only imagine with 3 little ones how difficult it must be for you ~
But as I am reminded by my Sponsor ~ God provides the tools when the situation arises ~
I will also continue my prayers for your Daughter ~ that whatever her path, that someday, somehow ~ there could be healing between you & her daughters too.
gentle pink hugs for all ~
Getting there!!
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 5,750
Marie - I am so sorry for your pain. This must be very confusing for you and all who love her - especially those 3 little girls. Thankfully, they have you and your other daughters. I will keep you all in my prayers.
God Bless!
God Bless!
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Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: right here, right now
Posts: 6,516
Marie,
Those little girls are so blessed to have you. Your post brought tears to my eyes. You should be missing your daughter - that's a normal parental reaction. I just hope and pray that your love for her will stay strong and that if she is ready to return, that she will find you ready to receive her.
Those little girls are so blessed to have you. Your post brought tears to my eyes. You should be missing your daughter - that's a normal parental reaction. I just hope and pray that your love for her will stay strong and that if she is ready to return, that she will find you ready to receive her.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 1,423
I am sorry Marie.
Sometimes there are things in life that have no explanation.
I am sorry that you feel the grief & that may unfortunately continue but those 3 little girls with there excited wee faces for Santa coming are absolutely priceless.
It must be so incredibily hard but the only thing you can do is to look forward & not back.
Respect to you & your family.
Oh & hugs.
:ghug3
Sometimes there are things in life that have no explanation.
I am sorry that you feel the grief & that may unfortunately continue but those 3 little girls with there excited wee faces for Santa coming are absolutely priceless.
It must be so incredibily hard but the only thing you can do is to look forward & not back.
Respect to you & your family.
Oh & hugs.
:ghug3
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