today15the1

Between learning more about addiction from alcohol from addiction from love.All I can say is SR has helped me see. True there is so much more for me to learn. I write different quotes down so I can look back over them. Well whats going on with me is I broke it off with my A/AD/BF, But he is still at my house. Yeah he is telling me all the lies of now wanting to go get some help, the one day at a time thing. Well thats what he is doing.... Me...I'm through with him, how and he still in my house. In my rational thinking, I'm finished (not sure if this all makes any sense but this is where I am) I'm not trying to make up excuses but this is how I'm feeling,(I got this from a quote and since I have been on SR and attending al anon my thinking is slowly becoming clear, here it goes "I have decided I will make a decision when I am healthy(ier), so I can make a healthy decision...otherwise I will continue the cycle of unhealthy relationships in my life". Well as I was typing this it felt like I wasn't sure???? But I believe in time (maybe tomorrow who knows) I will b able to with the knowledge I'm getting not need to WEAN it away, If that makes any since. Deep Down I know He doesn't really love me. Not sure if this is some type of process I'm going through. It's like when people are on a certain type of drug they are given an alternative drug to wean them off. The Knowledge I'm getting it's opening my eyes. It's like I'm gonna fake it til I make it. Atleast My eye's are not shut close. See I am still working and once I get home I may say I CAN'T, I WON'T.I KNOW ITS LIKE RIGHT THERE.

Tuffgirl

Fake it til you make it is a great tactic to take when we are confronting reality for the first time. It was the only way I could get through the first few months after uttering the word "alcoholic" for the first time.

Prayers for a peaceful holiday,
~T