chuckp

I am dating a alcoholic that is fresh into recovery, 2 months sober. She has gone through in patient rehab and has been seeing a addictions counselor. We have lived together for about 2 years and know has told me that I should stay somewhere else. We still visit everyday but as we talk she tells me that they have said that im an enabler and would love to see her fail just so I would feel needed again, I've lost my job and looking for work so they tell her im obsessing over her that's why I don't get a job, and im no good for her since I've been with her while she has had this problem. But keep in mind I didn't know her back when she had became an alcoholic. Hmmm. So why the hell would it be me since I did not get her to become this way. I've had few sessions with this addictions counselor and she tells me she's just using me. I mean wtf really.I've been supporting her more than these quacks this is really fustrating. Do these people even go to school. I thought these people were supposed to be some what of a support group to help her. I feel as they r destroying what we have. It was so good till she started this ordeal. I want nothing but for her to better her self since she is such a sweet girl when sober. Im willing to take this rollercoaster ride but these quacks are making it so difficult. That's what I feel like. I have been going to b al anon meetings and have attended a few aa and na meetings. Which has helped me seeing that they have had the same probs as her. The counselor has to ld me the only reason that im going to both is so I can't figure out the addiction so I can controll it. Wtf I have dank to. Damn it seems to me that these people are confused them selves and also may need counseling themselves. I hear stories in these meeting on both sides and can relate to them both. I mean how can they tell me how I feel and think after one session. Has anyone delt with this chaos. Plz comment so I can see what other people think. Thanks

Dee74

Hi Chuck

In this post it kinda sounds like you're saying noone knows whats best for your girlfriend better than you - and that includes your girlfriend.

Do you really think that?

My advice is give her some space - let her work out what *she* wants.

If it works out the way you want it to, then good - it was meant to be that way - if not then at least you know now, right?

D

chuckp

No that's not how I feel or think at all dee. She still wants to be together. I am giving her space which is probably the best support I can give. Don't want to make her feel smothered and maybe. Force relapse. So that is why im trying to listen what her needs and wants are. Im not codependant. It just irratates me that they tell me how I feel and what im thinking after just meeting and I don't relate to them at all. I've done counseling before and that lady didn't do any of this. She was a very good counselor. Maybe spoiled me. Lol