Hello Intro
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 4
Hello Intro
Hello,
Someone from another thread recommended that I post in this thread.
I have an AW and am looking for support. I went to my first alanon meeting last night.
Yesterday was pretty bad. Drunk, mean, and passed out most of the day.
This morning she is sober and everything is "great". I hope she doesn't drink today.
Someone from another thread recommended that I post in this thread.
I have an AW and am looking for support. I went to my first alanon meeting last night.
Yesterday was pretty bad. Drunk, mean, and passed out most of the day.
This morning she is sober and everything is "great". I hope she doesn't drink today.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Melbourne Australia.
Posts: 3,748
Welcome to the forum.
Had an alcoholic de facto decades ago so I know what you are up against.
I imagine others presently going through the same may have better advice for you.
Do you drink too?
Had an alcoholic de facto decades ago so I know what you are up against.
I imagine others presently going through the same may have better advice for you.
Do you drink too?
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 821
Hello and welcome to SR.
I'm happy that someone referred you here but it's too bad you had to.
There's quite a few of us with either active alcoholic wives (AW) or Recovering Alcoholic Wives (RAW).
I spent so much time worrying about what she was up to. Was she drinking. Was she lying. Why does she do it. etc. It took me a long time to figure out how to concentrate on myself and this is a theme you will read about regularly here.
Wish you the best and keep on posting and reading other threads.
I'm happy that someone referred you here but it's too bad you had to.
There's quite a few of us with either active alcoholic wives (AW) or Recovering Alcoholic Wives (RAW).
I spent so much time worrying about what she was up to. Was she drinking. Was she lying. Why does she do it. etc. It took me a long time to figure out how to concentrate on myself and this is a theme you will read about regularly here.
Wish you the best and keep on posting and reading other threads.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,569
Welcome to the family, Ticonderoga. You'll find a lot of help & suggestions here.
I've been on both sides of this thing. Long ago, my AH lost his battle with alcohol. I was naive and didn't have a clue what to do. I had never heard of Al Anon, & didn't understand alcoholism. As a result, I was the world's worst 'enabler', thinking I was helping. The best thing you can do is get yourself educated. You've done the right thing by reaching out for help. We're glad you're here.
I've been on both sides of this thing. Long ago, my AH lost his battle with alcohol. I was naive and didn't have a clue what to do. I had never heard of Al Anon, & didn't understand alcoholism. As a result, I was the world's worst 'enabler', thinking I was helping. The best thing you can do is get yourself educated. You've done the right thing by reaching out for help. We're glad you're here.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 15
Hi Ticonderoga, glad you're here, sorry that you have to be. I've been with my active AW for 5 years, and have just (JUST) begun what I hope is my recovery from this awful business. But I'll say that even though I'm just starting down the right road, using the resources available, I'm seeing things from a different perspective. Its given me a glimmer of hope that I CAN change my own ways, and be happy with ME, instead of spending all my energy worrying about something I CAN'T CONTROL.
Good Luck, I promise if you stick around here, you'll learn things that will be amazingly helpful.
Good Luck, I promise if you stick around here, you'll learn things that will be amazingly helpful.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: PA
Posts: 985
Hi t,
Welcome to SR. There is much reading and support here. Reading is in the "stickies" at the top of the forum here. Read other threads and you will get a sense of the support here until you build up your own. You will learn so much and hopefully feel relief in your own time.
I was here for several years married to an active alcoholic. The arguing, the broken plans, lack of keeping his word, and constant threats to leave wore me down. The support here, helped me to see what was under my control (me) and what was not under my control (him). From there, I grew into a person who I am today - free and at peace.
Keep posting and updating.
Welcome to SR. There is much reading and support here. Reading is in the "stickies" at the top of the forum here. Read other threads and you will get a sense of the support here until you build up your own. You will learn so much and hopefully feel relief in your own time.
I was here for several years married to an active alcoholic. The arguing, the broken plans, lack of keeping his word, and constant threats to leave wore me down. The support here, helped me to see what was under my control (me) and what was not under my control (him). From there, I grew into a person who I am today - free and at peace.
Keep posting and updating.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 4
Thanks all for the supportive comments.
Murchovski: I used to only drink during get-togethers, but now I don't drink at all since my wife's problem got dysfunctional, about six months ago.
I just got home, and my AW is drunk, mean, and 'checked-out'. Coming here and posting helps me get over the "I can't do anything about her drinking".
Murchovski: I used to only drink during get-togethers, but now I don't drink at all since my wife's problem got dysfunctional, about six months ago.
I just got home, and my AW is drunk, mean, and 'checked-out'. Coming here and posting helps me get over the "I can't do anything about her drinking".
Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Anchorage, Alaska
Posts: 4,719
Welcome to SR, Ticonderoga. I am sorry for the situation that brings you here, but glad you found us. I am also glad you are going to Al-Anon. Everything we do for ourselves helps.
I hope you keep reading here, read in the other forums as well. Another great resource I found was the Hazeldon site - the family tab.
Keep coming back!
~T
I hope you keep reading here, read in the other forums as well. Another great resource I found was the Hazeldon site - the family tab.
Keep coming back!
~T
Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Central O-H-I-O
Posts: 1,689
My Wife is a drinker as well, though at this point, not as bad as yours. Only drinks and passes out later in the evening after 2.5 year old is in bed.
Detaching, and handing over my troubles to my HP (Higher Power - which is GOD for me), has helped tremendously.
Anything that I've attempted to do to 'fix' it has not worked one bit. In fact, it has only added to my frustration. So, I try to "let it go" as much as I can, which some days it is easier than others.
Best of Luck. And come here often, you will gather much information here.
C-OH Dad
Detaching, and handing over my troubles to my HP (Higher Power - which is GOD for me), has helped tremendously.
Anything that I've attempted to do to 'fix' it has not worked one bit. In fact, it has only added to my frustration. So, I try to "let it go" as much as I can, which some days it is easier than others.
Best of Luck. And come here often, you will gather much information here.
C-OH Dad
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