Moment of Truth; Sisyphus
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Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 3,550
Moment of Truth; Sisyphus
When I think about what has happened to me in the past, how I struggled to deal with alcoholism, how, for the most part, I failed, for forty years. What happened finally, the more it seems to me like there was this tremendous cliff which had to be surmounted at the very beginning and that rather than doing this I sat at the base of the cliff and was able for long periods of time to convince myself that I was honestly trying to deal with this problem. It didn't work.
Eventually I came to a moment of truth. It became apparent that unless I stopped drinking my life would be at stake. I was ready to do anything, anything at all just to stop. I entered a rehab and AA. I tried my best to do the program. I didn't get all A's. Maybe not B's either and I'm sure I got a D or two. But somehow the program worked. Or at least I've been sober for nearly a quarter of a century.
What I'm trying to say is that what AA calls the "First Step" is the very hardest. It's the big base of the cliff. If you can get up that one then you can start rolling the ball uphill. At first the upward slope is steep but gradually it starts to get easier and if you can just keep the ball rolling (and not rolling back over you) you get to a point where things become pretty bright, like they always are at the top of the mountain.
Now what I'd like to know is- whether you think you've been able to make this all important first step, that moment of truth and, if so, why do you think you've done that? And then maybe what you find helpful in rolling the ball up the hill, particularly at the beginning where the slope is so steep.
Finally, and this is very important, it's best to avoid any dogmatic stuff like "The AA way is the only way" or "Some other way is the only way". As we've been told, there are many paths up the mountain. The important thing is what brought you to your moment of truth and what did you do then to keep rolling the ball up the hill? (Maybe also what you did to recoup if the ball did roll back, that is how you managed to recover from a slip or relapse and get the rolling process underway again). Has it worked for you? I sure hope so. And have a fine holiday. Every good wish!
W.
Eventually I came to a moment of truth. It became apparent that unless I stopped drinking my life would be at stake. I was ready to do anything, anything at all just to stop. I entered a rehab and AA. I tried my best to do the program. I didn't get all A's. Maybe not B's either and I'm sure I got a D or two. But somehow the program worked. Or at least I've been sober for nearly a quarter of a century.
What I'm trying to say is that what AA calls the "First Step" is the very hardest. It's the big base of the cliff. If you can get up that one then you can start rolling the ball uphill. At first the upward slope is steep but gradually it starts to get easier and if you can just keep the ball rolling (and not rolling back over you) you get to a point where things become pretty bright, like they always are at the top of the mountain.
Now what I'd like to know is- whether you think you've been able to make this all important first step, that moment of truth and, if so, why do you think you've done that? And then maybe what you find helpful in rolling the ball up the hill, particularly at the beginning where the slope is so steep.
Finally, and this is very important, it's best to avoid any dogmatic stuff like "The AA way is the only way" or "Some other way is the only way". As we've been told, there are many paths up the mountain. The important thing is what brought you to your moment of truth and what did you do then to keep rolling the ball up the hill? (Maybe also what you did to recoup if the ball did roll back, that is how you managed to recover from a slip or relapse and get the rolling process underway again). Has it worked for you? I sure hope so. And have a fine holiday. Every good wish!
W.
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Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: USA
Posts: 773
Wpainter,
you put thoughts into internet words so well, you got me thinkin, anything is better than sitting here gritting my teeth, I've been to AA, it wouldn't be that hard to re-visit some of them, thanks for the idea
you put thoughts into internet words so well, you got me thinkin, anything is better than sitting here gritting my teeth, I've been to AA, it wouldn't be that hard to re-visit some of them, thanks for the idea
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