Can I achieve recovery without a "Higher Power"?
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 15
Can I achieve recovery without a "Higher Power"?
Hey folks,
I'm starting to see the light, small and dim as it may be currently. I've started reading a copy of "Co-dependent No More", and I've spent some time going through the "Step Study" sticky (lol, funny combo of words). There's a common theme in all I've read, and it references a "Higher Power", and the necessity of faith in said Higher Power in order to work the steps.
Now I guess I need help understanding, as I've converted from Christianity to Atheism (not recently). I believe what I believe, and I have my reasons. No doubt that everyone here believe in all sorts of things, but I guess my question is for those of you who are more inclined to Agnosticism/Atheism. I myself am having trouble separating a religious "God" from a Higher Power and feel I need to move past it to move on(with recovery).
What/who do you find serves your purpose of a Higher Power?
Is it possible to follow the 12 Steps without such a belief?
Thank you all for your continued support and love.
5YI
I'm starting to see the light, small and dim as it may be currently. I've started reading a copy of "Co-dependent No More", and I've spent some time going through the "Step Study" sticky (lol, funny combo of words). There's a common theme in all I've read, and it references a "Higher Power", and the necessity of faith in said Higher Power in order to work the steps.
Now I guess I need help understanding, as I've converted from Christianity to Atheism (not recently). I believe what I believe, and I have my reasons. No doubt that everyone here believe in all sorts of things, but I guess my question is for those of you who are more inclined to Agnosticism/Atheism. I myself am having trouble separating a religious "God" from a Higher Power and feel I need to move past it to move on(with recovery).
What/who do you find serves your purpose of a Higher Power?
Is it possible to follow the 12 Steps without such a belief?
Thank you all for your continued support and love.
5YI
Forum Leader
Join Date: Dec 2008
Posts: 10,944
Hello 5YI and Welcome,
Of course you can recover without using any 12-step program. There are many of us who have attended Al-Anon meetings and never worked the steps. There are many of us who simply use SoberRecovery as a way to get past the hurt and damage of allowing an active alcoholic to remain in our lives for too long. Individual counseling has helped many people here as well.
I hope you find something that works for you!
HG
Of course you can recover without using any 12-step program. There are many of us who have attended Al-Anon meetings and never worked the steps. There are many of us who simply use SoberRecovery as a way to get past the hurt and damage of allowing an active alcoholic to remain in our lives for too long. Individual counseling has helped many people here as well.
I hope you find something that works for you!
HG
Member
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Bridgeton
Posts: 718
Hey 5yi...my sponsor has 21 years...and has helped me greatly. He was agnostic when he started in AA as many are. A lot of these people use their home group, AA or anything they choose as a "power higher than themselves".
I know you may not want to hear this but eventually, a lot of these people do later on down the road find 'God' (as they understand Him) as their higher power. For me, I do have God as my higher power as I was raised that way and have sound strength through faith. That's just me...but you will find many in AA who think differently...and that is the beauty of the program.
I know you may not want to hear this but eventually, a lot of these people do later on down the road find 'God' (as they understand Him) as their higher power. For me, I do have God as my higher power as I was raised that way and have sound strength through faith. That's just me...but you will find many in AA who think differently...and that is the beauty of the program.
Today is a New Day
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 1,766
The whole point of a "Higher Power" is the acknowledgement that YOU do not have the power to fix everything, so the things you can't fix need to be switched onto a different "To Do List" that isn't yours. If that makes sense?
While God is the most popular view of a "Higher Power" I have seen people use anything from the sunrise to their AlAnon group(s) to the thought that two heads are better than one and four heads are better than two etc (insert 2³ math joke here) to the laws of Physics to Karma.
I think the whole bit about a higher power is important because we're recognizing that we're not it. We're not in charge of saving the world, and it's easier to let go of the responsibilities we don't own if we have a name for where we're reassigning those responsibilities.
I'll let others answer as I'll be rambling if I continue!
While God is the most popular view of a "Higher Power" I have seen people use anything from the sunrise to their AlAnon group(s) to the thought that two heads are better than one and four heads are better than two etc (insert 2³ math joke here) to the laws of Physics to Karma.
I think the whole bit about a higher power is important because we're recognizing that we're not it. We're not in charge of saving the world, and it's easier to let go of the responsibilities we don't own if we have a name for where we're reassigning those responsibilities.
I'll let others answer as I'll be rambling if I continue!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Canada
Posts: 230
I was raised a Christian, but as I've gotten older, many of those beliefs don't resonate with me any more.
I couldn't say one God or certain Gods that I believe in or really anything particularly concrete. I believe in gazing at the stars and feeling small. Feeling as though I am only one tiny, but necessary piece in this universe. That I am important and that there are things for me to accomplish while I am here....but that there is a plan....who made it, I don't know. I can guide myself along the way, but people, places, and things are where they were meant to be. Some are to teach me lessons maybe or maybe they are there for distraction, love, comfort. It is hard to describe. The best way I can think of is just to go outside and look at the stars. I've had this internal calmness since I was young when I gaze at the stars. When I would ask my STBXAH to look at them, I usually heard "yeah, they're just f'in stars...who cares." So apparently not everyone feels it!
Just a thought for you to ponder...
I couldn't say one God or certain Gods that I believe in or really anything particularly concrete. I believe in gazing at the stars and feeling small. Feeling as though I am only one tiny, but necessary piece in this universe. That I am important and that there are things for me to accomplish while I am here....but that there is a plan....who made it, I don't know. I can guide myself along the way, but people, places, and things are where they were meant to be. Some are to teach me lessons maybe or maybe they are there for distraction, love, comfort. It is hard to describe. The best way I can think of is just to go outside and look at the stars. I've had this internal calmness since I was young when I gaze at the stars. When I would ask my STBXAH to look at them, I usually heard "yeah, they're just f'in stars...who cares." So apparently not everyone feels it!
Just a thought for you to ponder...
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 15
Thanks you guys!
That does leave me with some things to consider. I never really thought of it in that sense before. I suppose I can see how thinking of a Higher Power in that light, as opposed to a "being" or something from a book.
I guess I'm still very new to the recovery side of things. 5 years in with an active alcoholic and I'm just starting to see things in a new light, things about myself and how they're connected to my current situation. I'm only about half way or so into Co-dependent No More, and I am struggling with some concepts that seem way out there, but I believe if everyone "got it", then places like this probably wouldn't exist.
I used to want to come here to bitch about the stupid things she (AW) does, and just vent angrily. But its like everyone else already says and feels the same things, so whats the point?
Putting a band-aid on a bullet wound only slows the inevitable, and I think I've used my last one. Or just have too many bullet wounds to keep up with lol. But I know the time is now, so thank you all for helping me get to where I am now, and where I'll continue to go.
5YI
That does leave me with some things to consider. I never really thought of it in that sense before. I suppose I can see how thinking of a Higher Power in that light, as opposed to a "being" or something from a book.
I guess I'm still very new to the recovery side of things. 5 years in with an active alcoholic and I'm just starting to see things in a new light, things about myself and how they're connected to my current situation. I'm only about half way or so into Co-dependent No More, and I am struggling with some concepts that seem way out there, but I believe if everyone "got it", then places like this probably wouldn't exist.
I used to want to come here to bitch about the stupid things she (AW) does, and just vent angrily. But its like everyone else already says and feels the same things, so whats the point?
Putting a band-aid on a bullet wound only slows the inevitable, and I think I've used my last one. Or just have too many bullet wounds to keep up with lol. But I know the time is now, so thank you all for helping me get to where I am now, and where I'll continue to go.
5YI
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Midwest, USA
Posts: 2,899
I'm an atheist, so my higher power, or the "thing that's bigger than me," could mean humanity, science, the world/universe/goodwill/justice, something. It's realizing we're cogs in a big old wheel and don't have to take the responsibility, shame, and control of everything and everyone around us. It's about erasing the self-centered urgency from this thing.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Chicago
Posts: 5,450
Originally Posted by Florence 
I'm an atheist, so my higher power, or the "thing that's bigger than me," could mean humanity, science, the world/universe/goodwill/justice, something. It's realizing we're cogs in a big old wheel and don't have to take the responsibility, shame, and control of everything and everyone around us. It's about erasing the self-centered urgency from this thing.
Member
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Memphis, TN
Posts: 2,884
I am an atheist and I have no higher power. I took a 3 step approach.
1. Giving up the illusion of control. I have no control over other people, places and things. The only thing I have real power over is choosing how I will respond to events inside and outside my head.
2. Letting go of the past and worrying about the future. The past is done and the future is not here. I can only live in this moment.
3. Using a mindfulness program to develop some skills that will allow me to create a gap between when something happens and how I react/respond to it. That gap gives me a small moment to actually choose a skillful sane response rather than simply react with my normal unskillful and compulsive behavior.
This practice has made a huge difference in how I now live my life and I feel comfortable in my recovery.
If you look at the 12 steps and read the literature you will see this approach is a big part of the program. I simply condensed some of the steps and dropped the parts that didn't work for me.
It's all in my signature.
Your friend,
1. Giving up the illusion of control. I have no control over other people, places and things. The only thing I have real power over is choosing how I will respond to events inside and outside my head.
2. Letting go of the past and worrying about the future. The past is done and the future is not here. I can only live in this moment.
3. Using a mindfulness program to develop some skills that will allow me to create a gap between when something happens and how I react/respond to it. That gap gives me a small moment to actually choose a skillful sane response rather than simply react with my normal unskillful and compulsive behavior.
This practice has made a huge difference in how I now live my life and I feel comfortable in my recovery.
If you look at the 12 steps and read the literature you will see this approach is a big part of the program. I simply condensed some of the steps and dropped the parts that didn't work for me.
It's all in my signature.
Your friend,
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 1,407
I believe there can be a difference between belief in a Higher Power, and belief in the "God" you experienced as a Christian. The importance of a HP in this journey just reminds us that there are things in this universe way bigger than us, that we don't have all the answers. I personally do believe in God, but I have found my AlAnon group to be a HP for me as well. Anytime I am struggling, the collective experiences and wisdom in those meetings always helps me on my journey.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Real World
Posts: 729
I'm somewhat of an agnostic... The mathematician in me gives me a strong belief in intelligent design but I just don't see much that suggests to me that God is still around pulling the strings...
But....
Steps 2-12 are about human nature. Letting go of resentments, making amends for that which we feel guilty about, admitting our flaws to ourselves, accepting them and working to be better reduces a lot of the pain and turmoil that comes with one of these damned human brains.
So my wife and I stumble a bit on the higher power issue as well. It would be souch easier if A higher power would just get email or a Facebook account or do a Super Bowl ad...
My definition: I think we all have that voice in us, call it conscience or God or ....Fred if you please but there's that Nagging pain in the ass moral compass that tells you when you are wrong.
I've had times when my actions just did not match who I am or believe myself to be and that feels pretty crappy. When you look in the mirror and don't like what you see...
I think steps 2-12 address that. Accepting that you can't solve everything, finding your own faults and admitting the stuff you aren't proud of so you can start letting go of that guilt... Righting the wrongs you've done to others.
Finding your own path to living a life less tumultuous and chaotic so that turning to drugs or self destructive escapes is not so appealing and then marking the path and reaching back to help the next guy.
I hear that voice when I'm not living up to my own expectations.
It argues with that selfish voice that helps you justify and rationalize stuff we know is wrong.
Rationalize... Rational lies
But....
Steps 2-12 are about human nature. Letting go of resentments, making amends for that which we feel guilty about, admitting our flaws to ourselves, accepting them and working to be better reduces a lot of the pain and turmoil that comes with one of these damned human brains.
So my wife and I stumble a bit on the higher power issue as well. It would be souch easier if A higher power would just get email or a Facebook account or do a Super Bowl ad...
My definition: I think we all have that voice in us, call it conscience or God or ....Fred if you please but there's that Nagging pain in the ass moral compass that tells you when you are wrong.
I've had times when my actions just did not match who I am or believe myself to be and that feels pretty crappy. When you look in the mirror and don't like what you see...
I think steps 2-12 address that. Accepting that you can't solve everything, finding your own faults and admitting the stuff you aren't proud of so you can start letting go of that guilt... Righting the wrongs you've done to others.
Finding your own path to living a life less tumultuous and chaotic so that turning to drugs or self destructive escapes is not so appealing and then marking the path and reaching back to help the next guy.
I hear that voice when I'm not living up to my own expectations.
It argues with that selfish voice that helps you justify and rationalize stuff we know is wrong.
Rationalize... Rational lies
Guest
Join Date: Feb 2007
Posts: 1,826
God and a Higher Power don't need to be one and the same. It,s what you are comfortable with and you don't need to decide right away. Take your time.
Originally Posted by 5yearItch
Hey folks,
I'm starting to see the light, small and dim as it may be currently. I've started reading a copy of "Co-dependent No More", and I've spent some time going through the "Step Study" sticky (lol, funny combo of words). There's a common theme in all I've read, and it references a "Higher Power", and the necessity of faith in said Higher Power in order to work the steps.
Now I guess I need help understanding, as I've converted from Christianity to Atheism (not recently). I believe what I believe, and I have my reasons. No doubt that everyone here believe in all sorts of things, but I guess my question is for those of you who are more inclined to Agnosticism/Atheism. I myself am having trouble separating a religious "God" from a Higher Power and feel I need to move past it to move on(with recovery).
What/who do you find serves your purpose of a Higher Power?
Is it possible to follow the 12 Steps without such a belief?
Thank you all for your continued support and love.
5YI
I'm starting to see the light, small and dim as it may be currently. I've started reading a copy of "Co-dependent No More", and I've spent some time going through the "Step Study" sticky (lol, funny combo of words). There's a common theme in all I've read, and it references a "Higher Power", and the necessity of faith in said Higher Power in order to work the steps.
Now I guess I need help understanding, as I've converted from Christianity to Atheism (not recently). I believe what I believe, and I have my reasons. No doubt that everyone here believe in all sorts of things, but I guess my question is for those of you who are more inclined to Agnosticism/Atheism. I myself am having trouble separating a religious "God" from a Higher Power and feel I need to move past it to move on(with recovery).
What/who do you find serves your purpose of a Higher Power?
Is it possible to follow the 12 Steps without such a belief?
Thank you all for your continued support and love.
5YI
~sb
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: MD
Posts: 15,966
If you choose to attend Al Anon and find a sponsor to guide you through the 12 steps, that is your choice and this discussion is between you and your sponsor.
The 12 steps were meant to be worked with someone who has been helped by another person who has worked the steps.
Some people just use this website.
The 12 steps were meant to be worked with someone who has been helped by another person who has worked the steps.
Some people just use this website.
My brain is trying to kill me
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Palo Alto, ca
Posts: 401
Read chapter 4 of the Big Book of AA "We Agnostics" that'll help put things into perspective. May I also suggest the writings of Dr. Ernest Holmes, founder of the religious science movement. I have found those principles as a guide to understanding that my head is NOT the center of the universe.
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