secondwind

I have had a few of them recently. The collection of them in a short time is what has made me choose to move forward.

* my three year old angry I was turning off the tv told me he wanted me to go away. Responding as a mom, Iasked him who he would live with then. Thinking he would name family members or elmo - i was struck silent when he told me he would live with Anthony ( Addicted Other's Coke Dealer)

* at my 10 year old's holiday school concert AO was making arrangements to score with a dealer he ran into at the school.

* AO crossed his own boundary and began pawning the kid's items for drugs.

* when AO would say he is going to meetings when infact he was using.

* when MIL begged me not to throw AO out but would not let him stay with her.

There are more.. but those stuck with me.

It has been enough for me to walk away. Moving out will take time... but that doesnt mean i can't move forward now.

Carrie

Ann

Wise move, secondwind. I think hearing what your child said would be enough to make a move.

It won't be easy, but it will better for you and your child and in a short time you will find a peace you haven't known for a long time.

Hugs

helpme33

Carrie,
Yes you can move forward today! I have been there, I know how difficult it can be, having small ones involved only makes it worse.

I never really had to make the decision of leaving, my ExAH alway met someone and moved out, including strippers and hitch hikers. My problem was that he thought as soon as he wanted to come back that he could. He was arrogant enough to think I had no say so in the matter. His family's religious belief of no divorce seemed to make him think he could do as he pleased and I had to stay regardless.

Start learning to detach, keep a journal of your hurts, expectations, and dreams for the future. Burn it or tear it up if you need to to keep it private - you'll get stronger day by day. I would not wish a relationship with an addict on my worse enemy!

Having a small one must be alot of fun at Christmas time!! Mine are all grown so I spoil the great nieces and nephews.


(((huggs and blessings)))

secondwind

Tonight i enteres my first Alanon meeting this go around. There are no Naranon meetings. It was good.and refreshing.
It was a battle to get to the meeting. ADDICTED OTHER seems to think he can go to 4 meetings in 24 hours but i should not be attending a single one.
First AO accused me of putting on makeup and looking nice for the meeting. I looked down - hair in pony tail, lip gloss, no other makeup, and the jeans and tshirt i had been wearing all day.
I can see AO's fear - about a year ago i made friends.with a girl at a meeting. I was banned from using the car so i calles her for help with shopping. She offered for her brother to help me. Well three conversations later brother askes me out for a coffee. I never went. AO found out and was angry. I was at a very low moment. Depressed and alone and i reaches out and connected with someone i shouldnt of.
Anyway... i defended i was not dressed up and looking to impress anyone. AO changed his tune and said that is because i am only looking for a one night stand and i don't take pride in myself.
I realized how silly this was... and i found myself an hour later sitting with men and women who got it. Who didnt judge me. Who were going thru or had been going thru what i am going thru inside. Who had many words of wisdom. Just felt good to be out for 3 hours.

CARRIE

crazybabie

I am glad your meeting was good he can think whatever he wants that doesn't make it true your working on you and that scares him well IMO too bad because your IMPORTANT. and your doing what is right and best for you.