Reaching out is hard.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Queensland
Posts: 90
Reaching out is hard.
So I called AA tonight and got some questions answered and I will be attending. I have to give it a try especially with heaps of people on here recommending it.
One more tool in my belt to kick this demon.
I feel optimistic. Wish I could bottle this emotion and drink it when I'm feeling hopeless.
Anyone who has stayed sober with the help of AA, any tips, suggestions, advices would be very welcome
One more tool in my belt to kick this demon.
I feel optimistic. Wish I could bottle this emotion and drink it when I'm feeling hopeless.
Anyone who has stayed sober with the help of AA, any tips, suggestions, advices would be very welcome
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Between Meetings
Posts: 8,997
Just go and listen...Try and look for similarities...And not differences...Get there a little early...Talk to some women and tell them you are new. They'll make you feel at home. Most important....Enjoy it!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: LA - Lower Alabama
Posts: 5,068
Get the "I want to kick this demon" idea out of your head. One of AA's tenets is the concept of surrender. You've already done battle with alcohol and lost. You are going to "kick" alcohol, you should surrender and stop fighting. This is one of the paradoxes in AA - we win by surrendering.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,416
I'm not in AA D but I spent a lot of years fighting myself...my addiction was me and vice versa.
Whichever 'me' won, I lost....so I stopped fighting. I walked away.
Some call it surrender - I called it acceptance - acceptance that if I want the kind of life I wanted, I couldn't drink anymore.
It's not the only way to approach it - other methods are big on the defeat methodology - but not fighting worked for me
whether you 'defeat' your enemy, or simply stop fighting them...the end result should be the same...peace
D
Whichever 'me' won, I lost....so I stopped fighting. I walked away.
Some call it surrender - I called it acceptance - acceptance that if I want the kind of life I wanted, I couldn't drink anymore.
It's not the only way to approach it - other methods are big on the defeat methodology - but not fighting worked for me
whether you 'defeat' your enemy, or simply stop fighting them...the end result should be the same...peace
D
A Day at a Time
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Grand Rapids MI
Posts: 6,435
AA in many ways is similar to SR. A bunch of people that understand what it is like to be fighting Alcoholism. The cool thing is AA comes with an instruction manuel called the Big Book which was written by Bill Wilson and Doctor Bob who are the founders of AA. This book has saved countless lives including mine.
At the beginning of the meeting they will ask, "Is there anyone who has never been to an AA meeting." Just say you have not and they will take it from there.
You do not have to say anything. Just listen and you will hear parts or all of your story. You will realize we all have the same problems and fight the same battles.
It takes multiple meetings to get to know people and to form a sobriety safety net. Just keep coming and you will learn how each member stays sober a day at a time. Eventually you will be able to get to know people who have been sober for a long time. Latch on to one of these and do what they do.
AA is a program of positive and negative re-enforcement. You get to see what works and unfortunately also what does not.
If you have an open mind I think you will feel like you belong maybe for the first time in your life. AA's as a group are the nicest and most non-judgemental people you will ever meet.
At the beginning of the meeting they will ask, "Is there anyone who has never been to an AA meeting." Just say you have not and they will take it from there.
You do not have to say anything. Just listen and you will hear parts or all of your story. You will realize we all have the same problems and fight the same battles.
It takes multiple meetings to get to know people and to form a sobriety safety net. Just keep coming and you will learn how each member stays sober a day at a time. Eventually you will be able to get to know people who have been sober for a long time. Latch on to one of these and do what they do.
AA is a program of positive and negative re-enforcement. You get to see what works and unfortunately also what does not.
If you have an open mind I think you will feel like you belong maybe for the first time in your life. AA's as a group are the nicest and most non-judgemental people you will ever meet.
Self recovered Self discovered
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Toronto Canada
Posts: 5,148
D104, I often research a question I have before posting it in a forum, just to see what others have written in answer to a question that has likely been asked many times before. Why don't you google 'AA Surrender' and see what you find? It will give you a larger context to understand the answers you receive here and help with the spiritual aspects of your question.
Not Alone
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: South East UK
Posts: 1,513
Find the people who have a kind of radiant glow of serenity, peace and calm around them and stick with them. Follow the advice given. It is rarely, if ever, wrong. But most of all just listen and make the most of the time you have there.
Natom.
Natom.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Melbourne Australia.
Posts: 3,748
Originally Posted by Taking5 
Get the "I want to kick this demon" idea out of your head. One of AA's tenets is the concept of surrender. You've already done battle with alcohol and lost. You are going to "kick" alcohol, you should surrender and stop fighting. This is one of the paradoxes in AA - we win by surrendering.
I am not knocking A.A. but personally adopt the hatred of alcohol/alcoholism approach.
The appeal to your Higher Self is admirable for all, including atheists, in my view.
As for confessing all to another individual, I have never liked that approach.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: LA - Lower Alabama
Posts: 5,068
D104 - You are correct, and IMO you should not even look at alcohol as your opponent. Just like Michael Jordan is not my opponent in basketball. I have given up trying to beat MJ in basketball, I know it is futile. That is part of your surrender.
I second what everyone else says, just show up and be honest. More reading helps too.
I second what everyone else says, just show up and be honest. More reading helps too.
A Day at a Time
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Grand Rapids MI
Posts: 6,435
IMO If there is one peace of advice in sobriety that is universal. Find someone that has been sober for a long time, some one who is happy and satisfied with life, ask them how they have stayed sober all these years and then do what they do.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: San Diego
Posts: 4,451
I'm not in AA, but I want to congratulate you on taking action, D.
No need, plenty more where that came from! Seriously, lots of good things await you. My advice is to be patient and accept that there will be bad days. That's OK—getting through the bad days, and learning healthy ways to deal with them, is all part of the process. You should feel optimistic—this isn't the easiest journey, but it is worth every step (pun not intended, but what the heck, I like it!).
Wish I could bottle this emotion and drink it when I'm feeling hopeless.
Seriously, lots of good things await you. My advice is to be patient and accept that there will be bad days. That's OK—getting through the bad days, and learning healthy ways to deal with them, is all part of the process. You should feel optimistic—this isn't the easiest journey, but it is worth every step (pun not intended, but what the heck, I like it!).
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