rainyengland

Hi - jumped over from new comers and first post

Preachers of the AA are driving me nuts over there !!! - soon as new comer posts there on the case about AA- shame as there is a lot of good people on that part of site but it's starting to grind on me so not posting there

Anyway I'm 4 weeks tomorrow and feeling great - strong and determined !!

Works Xmas party tomorrow and I have zero intention of drinking :-)

Have a great weekend everyone !

Fandy

I understand what you mean, but you might want to read the top disclaimer and edit your post.

welcome and congrats on the 4 weeks.

Hevyn

Great job on 4 weeks, Rainy. Knew you could.

Fandy

fancy seeing you here Hev.....

do you miss me?

Hevyn

Of course.

Fandy

:ghug3

this is a good place to be.

Valll

Hi Rainy (and it really is p o u r i n g it down here in Surrey tonight)

I know what you mean - but I am sure that they mean well.

I have learnt something since joining SR and that is: "To read or not to read. that is the question" :>)

and you learn how to "not read" sometimes and just glide over certain posts without reading _ I am sure we all do it without any hard feelings just simply because it doesn't mean anything to us.

freshstart57

RainyEngland, welcome to the secular side of SR, you know, the one where we discuss and support alternatives to AA, just like it says on the box.

I'm glad you found us, and congratulations on your choice of sobriety. How do you feel about that Christmas party tomorrow? I found it helpful to have a plan in place, maybe a choice of non alcoholic beverage ahead of time, a place you can duck out to for a few minutes if things get too stressful to be comfortable, and even an alternate way to get home.

You can stay sober, anyone can, RainyEngland. You can do this if you choose to simply because you have the power and ability inside you already. Best to you.

Murray4x5

Welcome aboard

Dalek

What if you weren't feeling great, strong, and determined, rainyengland? Would that alter the non-drinking equation for you? Would it somehow tip the scales in favor of more drinking?

What if you did have some intention to drink, rainyengland? What if that intention or desire to drink came back some day? What would you do then? Would that change things?

Is it good or bad that you have no 'intention' of drinking?

After you get past my being a proverbial 'party pooper', think it over. Take particular notice of any thinking that supports, or even suggests, the slightest possibility that you might drink, ever.

tehmazzyland

It's a difficult balance - AA members draw great strength from their program and only want to share it for the best of reasons. As a non-AA recovering alcoholic, there have been times I did the same thing to friends with a non-AA approach taught by some awesome people in my rehab. It didn't help my friends.

The truth is: The only thing which will work, is your own determination to do whatever it takes to not drink. Whatever it takes - imo - includes learning from how other people did it, and adopting/adapting the ways which most chime with you. So it's worth at least considering all the different approaches, even if after honest reflection they don't suit your own personal needs.

But if you have that determination to find the right technique - then you will find the right technique (or techniques) for yourself.

Stay strong - the more you practise saying 'no' to a drink, the easier it gets. Stick with it.

And have a good weekend yourself rainyengland (lol at the username, so true so true).

freshstart57

Our little robot dude, unlike his namesake, is not devoid of compassion. He is just coaxing you along in his own inimitable style to arrive at the point described by tehmazzyland - absolute determination to succeed at sobriety, in any eventuality. A declaration of this determination is called a Big Plan. This is a considered conscious focused declaration - I will never drink again, and I will never change my mind. Booyah.

You don't need the 'booyah' part at the end, but I like it.

tehmazzyland

booyah!

allforcnm

Hi RainyEngland.

Congratulations on 4 weeks. That is wonderful !!

How was your work party ?

Fandy

Booyah is a great word! Just saying helps me remember how to cope and keep the train of thought.
(I may also shout it to myself in the car)

FeelingGreat

Hi Rainy
That Christmas house swap still on?
I think there is a cultural difference that makes people from the UK and Aus uneasy with anything that sounds like evangelism, whether it be for religion or AA. IMO the language in the AA 12 steps could not have been written anywhere but the US. Also, no matter what your faith, bringing God into recovery just doesn't help if you're talking to an atheist.
The thing is, as I get further into the recovery I'm finding that sobriety isn't the end game; you've also got to tackle what caused you to drink in the first place. Maybe the 12 steps helps with that? Is there an alternative program that doesn't mention HP? If so I'd like to give it a try.

Cleopatra1

hi rainy,, and all here,,, just popped back in to say hi,,, and to say im still doing v well,, (not counting ,, but ,,) coming up to my 8th wnkd sober,, and loving it,, loving ME !!!!
rainy,, i admire yr strenght and here you will find likeminded peeps,, i get wot u mean bout the "others",, lol,,, but its up to you to find yr happy place,,, i had lots of inspiration on this page,, and they are all lovely,, lols,, (oops i relapsed) ,, but watch out for that blimming robby robot ,,,, hehehe nah only joking,,, hes just a big squishy bear really,,, just dont climb up trees ,, lols,,
so,, good luck on yr sobriety,, and a big ty to all here,,, and happy crimbo,, and a sober new year
love you all,,
x cleo xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

ps,,, does baileys ice cream count??? xxx

soberlicious

There are many believers that don't bring God into recovery either.

Dalek, you make some very good points, as always.
"party pooper" LMAO...

RobbyRobot

Hey welcome to Secular Connections, rainyengland!!

Awesome to see you posting, Dalek. Excellent insights for rainy to ponder.

Hiya, Cleopatra! Good to hear you're well and happy!

ReadyAndAble

Hey, Rainy, glad to hear you're doing so well!!

Have fun at the Xmas party. I really enjoy being the dude sipping an ice tea at events like that.

I know, I know, Dalek.... With AVRT, abstinence should not be contingent on happiness or anything else... True enough. But 'tis the season to offer good tidings of comfort and joy. If you're real nice, Santa might leave one of these in your stocking: