fretastair84

Hi, I dont think i can sum up the story in one post, but i can try to sum up to get some advice. My family is starting to realize the extent of my problem, this was my second time in detox and being sober, the first time was for a half a year the second time was for 4 months, both times were spured on by a fight with my current girlfriend and attempts to seperate. After we split up my drinking got so out of hand I started getting really bad DT's when i tried to stop drinking and she did everything in her power to get me into detox (although it involved going to boston where i have health insurance) it made my family very angry but the truth was in st. louis when i called places I could not find a medical detox. I just got out of detox two weeks ago (in boston) and my family convinced me to come back to take care of my apartment and jobs ( after I told my work I was in detox i ended up losing both jobs) and my old girlfriend is back in Boston, my family thought when i was away from her I would straighten out and become ok again. But just as my case manager said in detox, after the sever DT's he was recomending a outpaitent program up there because of the easy chance of relapse, I ended up drinking as soon as i got back, and for a week, I have had massive urges to drink most all of the day. My family finally realized it was more than a bad girlfriend and that thell try to support me (but my sister and mother are functioning alcoholics and my brother doesnt believe in alcoholism, and my dad died of a overdose 8 years ago) so im trying to find the best place to get help. I know I have health insurance in Boston, but I have a good friend who says I should get away from it all and come to San Fransisco and she would try to help me find a job and help out there. I know i have just been drinking for about two weeks, but as the doctor said the dt's get more sever every time and last time i was under constant supervision at the hospital for 24 hours, then every two hours at detox. I usually let the suggestions of my family or other people get in the way, but I cannot keep doing this. I know I have issues and really have to stop drinking. I am just looking for the best place to do it. If I stay here the only family I have will not stop drinking until they pass out, but still suggest I need help. But if I leave again to get sober, my former support will be gone, sorry for the long choppy post, any suggestions would help

2granddaughters

I found sobriety, sanity and serenity in Alcoholics Anonymous. Might just be the ticket for you as well.

All the best.

Bob R

doggonecarl

Welcome to Sober Recovery.

I'm a firm believer that sobriety is a mindset, not a location. That said, it doesn't sound like staying with your family is conducive to your recovery. So stop referring to them as support. Support helps you get sober, not continue drinking.

I can't tell you what to do. But I suggest you do whatever it takes to further your recovery.

ProblemDrinker

I have alcoholics in my family too.

It's going to be a pleasurable moment when we are all together and I tell them I no longer drink alcohol.

sugarbear1

People drink. You can't. Geographical cures don't work. You have to know that wherever you are, you CAN'T drink.

Detox again, find a method for staying stopped, and move forward with your life, it can be done if you want it badly enough!

With love,

tehmazzyland

For me, it took a geographical displacement. I don't think it would have been possible if I'd stayed in the place I'd been drinking my whole life, the utterly new environment helped me find a new way of living.

But it is more about your own determination to stop, and to do whatever it takes to stop.

But moving might (might) be worth considering as part of the 'whatever it takes'.

BUT - unless you make the decision to stop, moving anywhere won't work as the drinking will always follow.

Haltman

"...(but my sister and mother are functioning alcoholics and my brother doesnt believe in alcoholism, and my dad died of a overdose 8 years ago) so im trying to find the best place to get help. I know I have health insurance in Boston, but I have a good friend who says I should get away from it all and come to San Fransisco and she would try to help me find a job and help out there."

Perhaps for some, it may be necessary to leave family and friends behind.
I'm surely not making any recommendations. But it worked for me.
It's too bad that insurance has to be a factor in your decision. Otherwise..
"San Francisco, here I come!"

773niki

Yeah, man, I gotta say, all this travel is making my brain chaotic and I'm newly sober as well. (52 days). I would really, REALLY try if I were you to get into an IOP or PHP program. PHP is partial hospitalization - it's like 8-3pm, I found where I went this past time extremely helpful. Very educational, not just about AA but about medical facts, the disease of addiction, etc.

I do not think moving will help you. If you are anything like me, moving will make you want to try to drink in a different location and see if it will be "different!" I used to live in Boston but my home town is Chicago and I've been to detoxes in both. Can I ask why you only have health insurance in Boston and/or in San Fran? That doesn't make sense to me.

If I were you, I'd say put and focus 100% on recovery. You seem young and I'm kinda young but I've struggled for years to "get this" - and through my bottom, I think AA is the answer. While IOP helped, AA meetings, every single day for the past 52 days, has been instumental in my attitude toward myself, life and sobriety. I also got a sponsor which I never did before. IT's amazing, really.

While I can't tell you what to do, I can tell you what worked for me (and I've experiences DTs and all that crap before too, so I get it.)

IN the meantime, make a goal. Go to a meeting everyday. Start out with a different one every day so you can get a feel for what you like/don't like. You will hate it. YOu will be nervous, but try to grow the balls you need and go. After a week, you start seeing familiar faces if you stay around the same area. Go to step meetings, BB meetings, speaker meetings, discussions. TALK TO PEOPLE. Stick around. Smile. Go to men's meetings...say you are early in sobriety adn need a sponsor. Maybe set a 90/90 goal. It's helped me alot.

GOOD LUCK TO YOU. But I really don't think all this moving is good for inner peace...

Dee74

Hi fretastair84
moves work for some people...for me, I took myself with me wherever I went, y'know?

Think about your recovery and pick the option you feel is best for that I think?

D

fretastair84

All of your advice has been great, I just wanted to add, when I got sober for 6 months, I got the free health insurance (which is high quality) In Mass. I dont know how much of the problems was mental (a good amount) But when I decided to go to the hospital I was admitted with zero waiting and they would not let me leave and got me into a detox that night. In st. louis they semi stabalized me they told me good luck and I went back to my angry family within 6 hours. I missed the advice of the worker at the detox who tried to fix me up with a out paitent program, and tried to go back home (same pattern started right up again) I don't know if its an excuse but after calling some detox's in Missouri, they said my symptoms should be medically treated, it seems the treatment resouces vary alot from state to state, that is what scared me.

tomsteve

i believe the detox in missouri is talking about the physical symptoms should be medically treated. once that is over, and when you look at what you have gone through, there is still the mental and emotional symptoms. if they rarent addressed, and if you read what you wrote, theres very little chance of not drinking.
alcohol is but a symptom of a much deeper problem. geographical changes, letting others who dont have a clue about alcoholism take care of me and help, new jobs, new friends....none of that worked for me. i had to get help from peple who had experience in alcoholism, experience earned by living it. listening to poeple who were well educated in alcoholism but had no personal experience with it didnt help.
i found the help in AA. they taught me how to fix the problem within me thought the program of AA. i didnt just go to mettings, i put in the fotwork and worked the program and continue to work it today.
it has been a blessing in disguise.

jazzfish

I have moved many times looking for that sane life. I even moved 12 time zones away. However, I always fell right back into the same drinking patterns, which also trended worse. The problem is that I only knew one way to socialize and that was through a bar/pub. If you didn't want to drink or wanted to drink only moderately, I wanted nothing to do with you. I have, however, successfully moved to get away from people who were a negative influence on my life. If you decide to move, I would recommend finding and contacting a support group in your new location prior to moving. AA is great for this because they are worldwide. If AA is not for you, then look for meetings or groups that can support you prior to moving. Just have the support group identified and active before you go.