bamboo10

Hey all,
My abf just got out of rehab on Monday. He has been a bit withdrawn and moody. Wondering what i can do to help. What is helpful to you during the first few weeks of recovery? Do i ask if he is going to a meeting, do i just assume he is? Do i ask how he is feeling, do i just pretend it doesnt exist? Any thoughts would be helpful! thanks in advance

doggonecarl

Perhaps you can ask him that question, "What can I do to help you through this?"

I'm pretty sure you already know this, but nothing you do will keep him sober if he decides to drink. And nothing you do (or don't do) is the reason.

This is on him.

Good luck.

2granddaughters

What did rehab tell him to do when they released him?

He had better be going to AA meetings regularly and you should be going to Al-Anon.

He will require what he "needs", not always what he "wants"

The recovery process has just begun.

All the best.

Bob R

sugarbear1

go to al anon and work your own steps to recovery!

FamilyMan2153

Just let him know that you are willing to support him. I went to rehab as well. Happy to get out but took me a bit to let reality set in. My wife did benefit a lot from Al Anon but that was our experience. I cannot tell you what to do or really give advice. I can say what I/we did and if it helps you then great. This is on him like Carl stated. Take care of yourself as well. Hope it all goes well for you guys.

bamboo10

I am going to al-anon and he is going to aa. He was supposed to go into an iop program but the rehab never set it up so he has to wait till January. As of now I know he is going to aa.

sugarbear1

those steps are life savers!

2granddaughters

Why didn't they set it up ?? What was rehabs direction to him/you upon his release ?

Read Chapters 8 & 9 here Big Book On Line

All the best.

Bob R

bamboo10

Needless to say we are not thrilled with the rehab. It came down to he made the decision to go so he went wherever had a bed. He didn't want to put it off. The program was only two weeks which was not ideal but something is better than nothing. They were supposed to set up the outpatient but he said they were very unorganized and only called the outpatient the day he was being checked out. He tried to set up the outpatient earlier but he couldnt make calls so he couldnt get in touch with his addiction counselor that runs the iop program. They encouraged him to do outpatient and aa. Really annoying.

bamboo10

Oh and they gave myself and his family nothing. That's why I have turned here. I will def read those chapters in the big book. Thanks!

2granddaughters

Well, here you are with rehab behind hubby and the future in front of you both.

I suggest you both attend meetings and get to meet folks who are working it... the winners. Ask every question you can think of and follow the oldtimers.

You will find the oldtimers aren't perfect but they are better than you two are right now.

Welcome to recovery and enjoy the ride (hard to do in the beginning).

PM me if you wish.

All the best

Bob R

artsoul

I did a 30-day inpatient and returning to day-to-day life was tough. That's when the hard work starts, I think.... we have to face everything again and figure out how to do it without alcohol.

One thing that really would have helped me: being able to talk about what I was going through. I didn't have that with my husband. I think just being there to listen is a real gift to someone just starting recovery. Your bf is lucky to have someone like you who is so supportive.

Anna

You'll find lots of support here, and I agree that AlAnon could be very helpful for you.