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Not sure what to do

Old 12-19-2012, 06:23 AM
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Not sure what to do

I have a huge worry- especially with the holidays approaching- my concern or fear is that in a weak moment, I am going to falsely believe I can "handle" one drink. My family and friends (not all) are big drinkers and do not think I have a problem (although they have seen some scary stuff). Ok- this is the weird part- in the past when I have slipped and this has happened (I feel like I can handle one drink...), the part of my brain that knows better seems to turn off. I get caught up in the momentum and stop thinking. This is the best I have felt in so long and I don't want to mess it up in a weak moment. The more I type, the more foolish I think this appears to be- seems like a no brainer, but I will share my worry none the less...hope everyone is having a wonderful and grateful day! (morning where I am...). Sof
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Old 12-19-2012, 06:30 AM
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I'm right there with you!

Today is 18 days without a drink. In 16 days, I didn't have any withdrawal symptoms or cravings. Easypeasing, right? And then, WHAM, yesterday (day 17) I couldn't stop thinking of having a glass (just one of course) of wine with dinner. I was having such a hard time shaking the . . . desire? . . . thought? . . . craving?

In the end, I "white knuckled" myself through it, and happily can report today is sober day 18.

But like you, what am I gonna do now? How am I going to get through the holidays? How does one actually do this?

Sorry, I'm of no help.

I'm just right there with you wondering the same thing.

I do know we'll both find a way to get through this though
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Old 12-19-2012, 06:36 AM
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No, that really does help! I'm so glad you got through that. The "just one" is scary because at that little window of time I believe that and that is a slippery slope to me. I think we will get through it too- at least we are actually thinking ahead - which I'm not the best at doing...
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Old 12-19-2012, 06:52 AM
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The "just one" is scary because at that little window of time I believe that and that is a slippery slope to me.
Yep, EXACTLY!

Yesterday, before the craving for "just one" hit me, I was thinking a lot of my drinking habit; was I actually an alcoholic or not? When the "just one" craving hit, it was like validation. That's the way an alcoholic thinks.

The whole time that I was in the thick of this craving (approximately 1 1/2 hours), I knew (I just KNEW) that my "just one" rationalizing was like a mental illness or something. I mean it wasn't realistic. And why was it so important to have "just one" anyway?

I think it would be a whole lot easier if I had been thinking "what the hell, I think I'll get drunk even if it will ruin the progress I've made AND make me feel like CRAP in the morning" . . . cause at least that's more realistic.

Next time a craving hits me, I'm going to try to remember that only crazy people or alcoholics obsess about having "just one" drink.
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Old 12-19-2012, 07:40 AM
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Great point and a much better way of thinking about the "just one". That really does help to reframe my thinking! Thank you!
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Old 12-19-2012, 07:45 AM
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I remember my last relapse was a clear and conscious decision to drink. Afterwards I realized the insanity of the decision and decided that as an alcoholic, I can never make a clear and conscious decision about drinking. Ever!

I wrote down my decision to quit and my "vow" to never drink again and looked at it many, many times a day as a reminder. I guess is served as some sort of amulet against the evils of alcohol. Perhaps you can create an amulet or ******** of your own, say with an AA chip or religious medal.

I would also say, tell your family you don't drink anymore and, regardless of what they think about your problem, ask that they support that decision and not encourage you to drink, or else you will be skipping holiday events.

Of course, it is easy for me to say that; it is much harder for you to carry out in reality. Still, it seems there are a tremendous amounts of "slips" during the holidays because the person seeking recovery is afraid to offend family and friends by skipping events that trigger drinking. As if their drinking isn't offensive.
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Old 12-19-2012, 07:52 AM
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there is no One Drink....it's a myth.

I was sober from a February through July...(2010)...I went out to dinner with a group of girlfriends..I had 2 glasses of wine, all was fine...I discovered that someone left 2 bottles of wine in my car that night, I brought them inside, intending to give them back. Not only did I finish them the next day, I went out and bought 2 more (to replace what I drank, i'm so polite)...I finished them too....made myself sick for 3 days and it took me another 3 days to get back up and feel 1/2way human.

Please don't throw away the good feeling for a short little drink.
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Old 12-19-2012, 07:57 AM
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I gave up for three months earlier this year...and then slipped back into the the 'moderate' drinking thinking I had somehow cracked it!

Of course I hadn't cracked anything and I was soon slipping back into the old ways and becoming aggressive which was a new one for me.

That's why I somehow know now that drinking alcohol is not and will never be an option.

Just take the option mentally away completely and never question the best decision you have made in your life!!!
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