bunkie65

Well a fish out of water is just how I feel right about now! Im not responding to text messages or answering calls from ex. He has not contacted me for a month or two. I have made several attempts during that time to make arrangements to get a few things he has of mine. Each attempt was fruitless. He ignored me or was not home or would drop it off. Never happened.

We tried to make a go of our relationship during the spring through summer and by late august it was clear he was using, so I ended it and sent him on his way as he denied using even though I found a crack pipe in my bathroom.

I still love him and would love to have our family together but not while he is in active addiction.

I have always answered his calls messages etc... im not mad or upset I just don't have anything to say. When he calls he does not leave a message and his texts are him saying "im playing a grown up game".... okaaay! I feel like if he wants to drop off my stuff he can leave a message and if I have a truck avaiable I will try to get my stuff.

Bottom line is I want to talk to him but for what? Cause I care but I know he is just going to play the suck my emotions game or try to manipulate me... I don't want to get sucked in. Im taking care of me by no contact but it feels so weird and I don't want him to think I don't care. Cause I do I love the man.

It will get better right?! Im trying to establish healthy boundries and not talking to him is hard but necessary right?

He is not use to this from me and said so " I would of never expected this"....

Just another step for me in my healing and being healthy... just not use to this seems unnecessary but necessary does that make sense?

dollydo

Yes, no contact is the answer.

anond

Are the things that he has important? Maybe you could consider just writing them off and staying no contact. No material things are worth losing your hard earned peace of mind.

mfox

Are you sure these belongings he has are worth it? Or is it just an excuse to continue contact with him? (I'm not trying to be mean, but I have found myself doing that in the past - finding 'reasons' why I just HAD to see him or communicate with him.

If these are things you can live without (which you already ARE living without them) let them go and save your sanity. My AH is a crack addict also. I know the struggle you are having. You still miss the man you fell in love with. But he's not there. It's like your own personal version of "Invasion of the Body Snatchers."

Stay strong and find things to occupy your time and your mind. Spend time with your friends and loved ones. During my divorce I actually posed a calendar on the refrigerator and marked off every day I didn't contact him - because it WAS an achievement for me. I somehow just missed him so badly and I was convinced that MAYBE this time he would treat me with respect. Well, that never happened. Not until I didn't need that calendar anymore.

Wishing you luck and sending you strength and prayers.