D104

I want support. Plain and simple. I'm 3 bottles of wine in to this evening and I know I will wake felling horrid in the morning.
I really don't understand why I do this on paper my life is awesome. Great career, boyfriend, family (sort of), gorgeous dog, independent..... But I keep nose diving down the path of cr*p. why???

Ssdawg1422

Well 104 you said you've set your date for the 13th of January right? Why not start taking steps in cutting back today? I don't know if I've read your reasoning behind waiting until that date

D104

My date is 1/1/13. And I'm having a moment. Please don't judge me!!

LSC1

Hey D104

Don't be so hard on your self. Could be time for a cuppa

D104

Thanks Lsc bed time for me. I'm getting too worked up about preachers who really have no clue as to how I'm feeling. I'm not unique but I am!! No one has identical problems.
Good night and power to you all xx

Ssdawg1422

Oh ok the new year. I'm in no position to judge anyone. It's something I've been taught to make a conscious effort not to do. Since Ive joined the forum I've seen proof that living a sober life is possible. In my darkest days I never for a moment believed I could go more than a day without a drink. Since I became sober a mere 43 days ago I have seen so many positive changes in myself physically, mentally, and spiritually. At 27 years old I never that I'd succumb to such an addiction. And never thought I'd get out. I did and I believe in myself and I believe in you. You can do this and when you do your smile will light up the sky. Keep posting because you give great advice and valuable input to others.

D104

Thanks that was a wonderful message. I strive to be like you.

Dee74

There's often no logic to addiction D....that why when I tried to think my way out it never worked - I needed to make some decisive changes.

I know for me I had to work harder at staying sober than I did at getting drunk - and I'd worked pretty hard at that....

I don't know what you've been doing so far besides SR but can you think of anything else to add?

Even the smallest change for the better can create ripples

Why not knock it on the head for tonight? 3 bottles of wine is not setting you up for a good Thursday...

D

Xune

When I was drinking, I had a great job, great home, great family and risked losing it all for the bottle.

If we continue drinking, eventually, we lose everything dear to us.

D104

I was so anxious logging on here this morning after my drinking session last night. I hate that I am so weak at times, so frustrating!
Told my mum last night that she is not to offer me a glass of vino when I have dinner at her place in 2013. She was supportive and agreed not too.
Dee, other than reading the posts on here, I am reading the Allen Carr book (about 5 pages in, slack huh), and I am thinking of checking out an AA meeting... Not quite sure about this yet though.
I just really want to be one of the people on here that have at least a month sober under their belts.
I remember the last time I quit drinking, I felt wonderful and I can't remember it being hard at all (maybe this is wishful thinking on my part)...
Miraculously I feel fine this morning, except the thought of food is making me queasy. And I didn't black out last night which amazed me given I usually would during bottle no. 2.
I have decided I am not going to drink today
Thanks for the posts people. I really appreciate the support and suggestions.
I will be a success story - mark my words.

Hevyn

We believe in you D104. You sound ready to make this big change, and we know you can do it.

It's scary to let go of something that we've grown so dependent on. Something that used to be fun and relaxing. I promise there is life after alcohol. A better life, where you're not foggy and numb. You will get there.

D104

Thanks for the uplifting words hevyn. I will get there
It dawned on me this morning - 'do I really enjoy drinking? - UMM NO' so why do I keep doing something that I don't enjoy. Silly really.

Hevyn

I was the same way in the end. I kept insisting I could make it fun again - if only I could control it. I had crossed the line, though - and the good times were never coming back. Life was hell just before I quit, but it was so hard to admit. Glad you are able to.

Dee74

The thing is - you never have to feel this way again. Your new life can start today, if you want....but the trick is you have to put more effort - whatever method you choose - into not drinking than you do into drinking, I think D.

and LOL yeah I'm a guy..not very blokey but a bloke nonetheless

D

D104

Your completely right Dee. One minute I feel hopeless then the next I feel optimistic. Flippin roller coaster to be honest.

Delilah1

Hi D,

Good for you for staying sober tonight! I promise it gets easier (I am finishing up day 69 so still new to sobriety as well!!!) life still has its ups and downs but dealing with them without s hangover is much easier!

Looking forward to hearing about your journey in 2023!!

D104

Ohh god not 2023 LOL... I dont want to be like this for another 10 years. I will be sober for good in 11 days

kiwi1971

Hang in there D. Admitting you have a problem is the first step right? Having a plan and being committed to sticking to it is where the change will occur. Giving up something you're not ready to do is a challenge at the best of times. You have your target date so my advice would be to prepare yourself for that....Commit and be strong.

You know you have people in your corner.
Andrew

endlesspatience

Please, keep posting. Even if you end up in emotional turmoil at the end of today, share it with us and we'll be here for you. We don't judge you: we've all been where you are. As someone else said, it sounds like you're ready to make a change and even if only part of you wants to get sober, that's better than nothing.

D104

Thanks Andrew and endless patience. I truly do appreciate the support provided on here.
My quit date is looming and I am prepping for it. Telling people I will not be drinking in 2013... I haven't told them forever because I don't think they would fully understand that. Whilst my mum and bf know it's a "problem" they don't think it's as serious as I do. They aren't inside my head though so I guess they never will (if that makes sense).
I've got lots of reading material. I have memorized the places, times of my local AA meetings.
I am scared though, no lie. I don't want to fail and I know my life will be so much more fulfilling if I'm not obsessing about my drinking. If I'm not drinking, plain and simple!
I think I might be addicted to this site, I practically live on here all day lol.
Sorry to anyone I may have insulted last night... I was feeling way sorry for myself last night. My own doing.
Right now I feel like a total twit. Why on earth do I drink when it is doing me harm. A question I will be pondering while sitting under a tree (like a hippie).
How is your sobriety going Andrew? Well I hope