Lionhearted1

Another arrest from another drink related incident.

Infact the police have me down as an alcoholic on record i had and officer opening my cell every 30 minutes to make sure i was not withdrawing too bad, i had addiction specialist ask if i need refering I had the interviewing officer telling me I don't seem to be able to stop drinking and iam not doing a good job at recovery...iam mortified during the day iam s respectable buisness man.. To most these situations would be enough for others to stop but the alcoholic part of me knos it's not!!!!!

I want to be hones and if anyone thinks they can help please do.

I don't think I will ever get sobriety I have tried aa hated it read every book on alcohol, tried avrt but instead of hearing the beast and moving on I think my beast makes more sense.

Iam starting to feel iam fundamentally screwed and maybe am worse than most on here... My problem is I can't seem to function sober except strangely in my proffesion where I excel, I have never ever drunk on the job ever but normal life situations scare me like going for dinner sober, cinema sober being around someone I don't know sober..

Iam starting to think I should just give up and be what it wants me to be a drunk heading straight to hell on a one way ticket.....

ReadyAtLast

I'm sorry to hear that Lionhearted. Stick around SR,some good advice here. I'm very new so not great at advice but it can be done. Maybe channel what makes you good inbusiness into your sobriety plan

Sazzle

(((Hugs))) Lionhearted. Have you tried a detox inpatient facility? I can't remember.

So sorry you are struggling like this. Stick around.

S x

Anna

Lionhearted,

There's no easy way to get sober, but you can do it. Stop drinking today, get rid of the alcohol you have at home and don't buy anymore. You must not give up because the disease is relentless.

GerandTwine

The best AVRT feedback can be given when you describe what was happening before you took that first drink. The surrounding environs, and your actions, thoughts, and feelings.

MIRecovery

You have been to AA meetings. You have not tried AA until you have a sponsor and worked the steps.

2granddaughters

Maybe today's "24 Hours" quote will help you.

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...hours-day.html

I hated the "GOD Higher Power" thing too until I realized it was my ticket to freedom.
I realized that dismissing, by-passing God was a luxury I couldn't afford. A humbling experience.

Might just be yours as well.

All the best.

Bob R

Dee74

I'm sorry to read what happened lionhearted - I'm sorrier still to read the resignation in your tone.

I think Annas absolutely right - until you want to put more effort into staying sober than you do in getting drunk, you're pretty much swimming in circles like that one legged duck.

This never gets better - the consequences get worse and worse every year.

You're not worse than anyone else here lionhearted - you're still at the very top of the slippery slide, man....I'm sorry, but this is peanuts compared to how it will get.

D

FamilyMan2153

LH, I have read your struggles on here for awhile, just like I did for many months. You are not different or a more difficult case. I know of people on their death beds that have recovered. So can you when YOU are ready. All the things you have tried could keep you sober if you let them. You are still fighting with your disease. Once I learned it was not a fight I could win, no matter how hard I tried. Once I admitted I was an alcoholic then I started to see things differently. Keep trying, keep working at it and it will come to you. Hopefully sooner than later. I will say a prayer for you.

doggonecarl

Recovery is like a life ring thrown out in stormy seas...it's your choice to grab it and hang on.

Or not.

Good luck.

lilgolden73

I"m sorry to hear this lion! I know what you mean about being sober at work but not being to get through everyday life without drinking. That was me and somehow I am staying sober when it's in every ounce of my body to go and get drunk. It will be 3 mos in Jan for me. I am shocked I have lasted this long but I want a healthy full life without alcohol, sometimes you have to want something bad enough. Good luck!

Hollyanne

“It is a disaster that wisdom forbids you to be satisfied with yourself and always sends you away dissatisfied and fearful, whereas stubbornness and foolhardiness fill their hosts with joy and assurance.”
― Michel de Montaigne, The Complete Essays

penny74

Don't give up.
You will find a way sooner or later.

Sasha4

Can you talk about how it happened?

Did it come out of the blue or was it at a planned event?
Were you blacked out?
Were there any other people there who discouraged/encouraged your drinking?

Hand on heart could it have been avoided?

I understand if it is too painful to talk about.
Please don't give up.
The last few weeks you have sounded so positive. Your posts have been full or clarity and hope.

Its not over yet...........x

awuh1

“Hell bound train

Hell bound train

One way ticket on a hell bound train”

These are the words your post brought to mind. They were written by an alcoholic with just months left to live. Your post makes me wonder why you “hated” AA. I’ll lay odds you did not work the steps. Doing them to the best of your ability would constitute “trying” AA. Short of that, AA has not really been given a chance.

Feel free to pull the cord.

Xune

Why do you suppose you chose to have that first alcoholic drink?

wpainterw

Lion: My reaction to what you've said is that you have so much to gain by sobriety and a great deal to lose. All I can say is what I hope I would do if I were in your shoes. You say AVRT didn't work for you for some reason. Why not give AA another try. I know that many folks, including me, have some issues with AA, but if the chips are down and there's a great deal at risk, then maybe it makes sense to say that you just have to rescue yourself and give a good honest try to the program, try to get the best out of it you can and go with the flow on the dicey parts. I did that, joined an Agnostics group, which was very supportive. I wish I'd done that years ago. I'll bet you can find a congenial group in London, such a large, metropolitan area.
This is very serious stuff, a fight for survival. I'd grab for whatever it took to keep me from going over the falls. Good luck.

W.

Fallow

I just got back myself.

Everything has changed though.

The morning of my last hangover I honestly asked myself this question...

Are you ready to throw in the towel, or do you want to step back in the ring with king alcohol?

I chose to throw in the towel.

Im tired of getting my @$$ kicked.

Good luck

wpainterw

Lion: Let me add a P.S. The more I think about this the more it seems to me that, although there is a "way out" the people who manage to take this way out are often so desperate that they would do anything, anything, to get into recovery from this illness. I've heard folks say they'd do anything, run naked through the park, if that's what it would take. They are ready to throw aside all their previous ideas of "pride", what they "believed" in, throw it all overboard if necessary just to survive, to stop the humiliation, the loss of job, reputation, friends, family, the humiliation. A person must be ready to choose survival over death. Has it reached that point with you? If not, maybe it will because one thing is sure. It can only get worse. Far worse.

W.

Hevyn

Lionhearted - I'm sorry you're so miserable, but please don't give up on the dream of leading a sober life. You have so many here who care about you.

Every time you pick up you put yourself in danger. The outcome is always unpredictable. I hope you'll decide to try again. This can be the last time you ever feel this way. We are all behind you.