BigShoe

Over two weeks sober now and doing well.. My wife still drinks and has booze in the house and she drinks when we are out. I've actually been out to bars more since quitting than when I was drinking. I was more of an at home drunk anyway since I liked to "get a little crazy" and "nobody parties like I like to party."

Had a nice stretch of sobriety earlier in the year and moderated myself out of that into daily binge drinking. My dad died in November and that pushed me to drink for days. Too much depression to continue.

I enjoy the SR forums and all the support. I was able to quit last time by thinking the bugs inside me were craving the alcohol and not me. I equated it to the moths that are so driven by bacteria that they are flown to water and drown while the bacteria proliferate. That's how I felt with alcohol. I've since realized it's a legitamite way to quit (avrt). Thanks SR.

Had headaches and hangover symptoms for a while now. Dealing with a lot with my dad's passing. Luckily my wife is supportive. Haven't felt the elation and energy of sobriety but looking forward to it. Just hate the depressed feeling that alcohol brings. No matter how bad things were, I would never think suicide till drunk. So glad that's over

whiskeyman

keep going BigShoe.
It only gets better the further you get.

BigShoe

thanks WhiskyMan! '
I'm really excited about a hangover free start to the New Year. Although I have been craving cigs (quit those over 5 years ago). But I know cigs taste awful, are expensive, kill, and make me sick. By the time they taste good again, you're hooked! So I will hopefully have a seriously fun and sober time.

dietcokehead

I, too, have had suicidal thoughts and even plans when drunk. Even woke up in the hospital with a "sitter" because I had apparently threatened to drive off a bridge the night before. The blackouts terrified me. I remembered nothing, but my husband would tell me the things that came out of my mouth - and let me tell you, it could be equated to demon possession. I shudder to think about it. He drinks beer every day and sometimes I resent him a little for it, honestly. But this is our choice. We *could* drink, but WE choose not to. Because we miss out on life when we let alcohol take over. I have been discovering new things to obsess about because, well, I guess I'm a little OCD and something has to take the place of the alcohol or I will obsess about it alllll the time. If you ever need to talk, I would be more than happy to listen.

BigShoe

Thanks dietcokehead. Glad you didn't drive off the bridge or go through with any of the other demon thoughts.
Thanks for the offer , I'd like that

Dee74

Welcome bigshoe - I'm really sorry for your loss, but I'm glad you found us - lots of support here

For anyone who might be dealing with suicidal thoughts I really recommend you read this link:

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ease-read.html

D

BigShoe

Thanks dee. I love your insights on the boards. You are a great communicator.

whiskeyman

Funny how alcohol does the same thing

BigShoe

That's true. I need to do the math. I sometimes want one cig but not a thousand. Now it's the same with booze. I've learned my lesson all over again. Drink feel awful. Quit feel good. One drink WILL hurt. Two weeks of moderation...

Such a joke. Ok two drinks a day. Drinks get bigger, then it's three then its weekend binges then I'm on vacation so lets go crazy. There's nothing romantic about drinking all day. Back to SR! Need a little tattoo on my hand that says don't drink for when I'm feeling great and complacent again. Reading stories here helps. Thanks

BigShoe

Oops. Now only 6 days sober. Time money and body wasted. Pick up the pieces and move on...

Dee74

welcome back BigShoe - congrats on 6 days

D

Anna

I'm glad you're back and working on your recovery.

instant

Good you are back again Big Shoe. AVRT is a useful tool. Sobriety gets much easier over time and is a much better way to live for me.