First post, please advise :/
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 1
First post, please advise :/
Hey everyone I'm new to this forum and I hope I can get some help from being a part of it.
I just had my 26th birthday a couple of days ago and I feel like that's as good a time as any to make a change. I've been drinking since age 16, and since I turned 21 I don't know if there's been more than 4 or 5 times that I've gone an entire week sober. Even 2 nights sober is rare. Typically I drink every night and schedule my drinking for a time where I can get a good night sleep for whenever I have to wake up the next day for work. It's always impacted me emotionally and for years now I've been looking up information on things like Antabuse, AA, and as a last measure rehab, but I always shrug it off as a problem to deal with later.
I've been a high-functioning alcoholic for many years now (drunk every night but managing to finish college and get into a masters program) but this last year I've hit rock bottom. My job was compromised (which I've since corrected but only after my closest friend, and my direct boss, put his career on the line for me), I'm in debt, my apartment feels like a trap instead of a home, and at this point the only people I can keep from realizing my problem is my family, which saddens me to no end.
My uncle died from liver and kidney failure due to his alcoholism a month ago, and for my entire life he has been the model for what I don't want to turn into. It pains me to no end that of all the people in my family I'm the closest to ending up like him. I'm also the oldest member of my generation in the family, and I'm completely ashamed of the example I'm setting.
I'm single, I have family that will help me unconditionally, friends who would do the same, and a career that will set me up for life. I tell you that as a pretext for how I am and what I wish that I could achieve in the future.
However, I dropped the entire last semester of class because drinking had gotten in the way of my job (co-workers started to realize my problem), I alienated 3 of my best friends because I didn't want them to think I drank too much, and I've began to notice my health weakening because I've completely stopped caring about exercise and nutrition.
I'm on the verge of desperation. If I do rehab I lose my job and the respect of my family, but I feel I have to quit drinking for the sake of my health.
I've looked at many posts on this site and I know there are people much worse off than me, but I'm a guy teetering on the brink, and I want to change.
Can anyone who has been on this forum and heard many peoples' stories give me some good resources? How about what is AA like? Is it worth seeing a doctor about prescription medicines like Antabuse? What if I want to ask about Antabuse and don't want to know how much damage I've already done? Do you have any ideas on quitting cold turkey...?
Thank you all for your help in advance.
I just had my 26th birthday a couple of days ago and I feel like that's as good a time as any to make a change. I've been drinking since age 16, and since I turned 21 I don't know if there's been more than 4 or 5 times that I've gone an entire week sober. Even 2 nights sober is rare. Typically I drink every night and schedule my drinking for a time where I can get a good night sleep for whenever I have to wake up the next day for work. It's always impacted me emotionally and for years now I've been looking up information on things like Antabuse, AA, and as a last measure rehab, but I always shrug it off as a problem to deal with later.
I've been a high-functioning alcoholic for many years now (drunk every night but managing to finish college and get into a masters program) but this last year I've hit rock bottom. My job was compromised (which I've since corrected but only after my closest friend, and my direct boss, put his career on the line for me), I'm in debt, my apartment feels like a trap instead of a home, and at this point the only people I can keep from realizing my problem is my family, which saddens me to no end.
My uncle died from liver and kidney failure due to his alcoholism a month ago, and for my entire life he has been the model for what I don't want to turn into. It pains me to no end that of all the people in my family I'm the closest to ending up like him. I'm also the oldest member of my generation in the family, and I'm completely ashamed of the example I'm setting.
I'm single, I have family that will help me unconditionally, friends who would do the same, and a career that will set me up for life. I tell you that as a pretext for how I am and what I wish that I could achieve in the future.
However, I dropped the entire last semester of class because drinking had gotten in the way of my job (co-workers started to realize my problem), I alienated 3 of my best friends because I didn't want them to think I drank too much, and I've began to notice my health weakening because I've completely stopped caring about exercise and nutrition.
I'm on the verge of desperation. If I do rehab I lose my job and the respect of my family, but I feel I have to quit drinking for the sake of my health.
I've looked at many posts on this site and I know there are people much worse off than me, but I'm a guy teetering on the brink, and I want to change.
Can anyone who has been on this forum and heard many peoples' stories give me some good resources? How about what is AA like? Is it worth seeing a doctor about prescription medicines like Antabuse? What if I want to ask about Antabuse and don't want to know how much damage I've already done? Do you have any ideas on quitting cold turkey...?
Thank you all for your help in advance.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 43
Hi,
I'm not sure I fit the qualification you are looking for but I can relate to your story. I am on day 3 of giving up. I feel I am quite strong to see if through once I have made my mind up but without a "shocking event" this can be quite hard. Mine came when I just about lost my partner after being out drinking and flirting with another woman. She was extremely upset and angry with me and after a lot of talking and self reflection I finally admitted that I was an alcoholic. After doing this I realised over the next couple of days that every stupid thing I have ever done, and every bad thing that ever happened to me was due to drinking (including two DUI's and three other arrests, as well as three previous significant relationships).
Admitting to her I had a problem was bad enough, but admitting to myself was probably harder. This is where I reflected back on my life and took stock of everything. I think it was the first time I have ever been so totally honest with myself. It was refreshing and liberating. From it I have spent the last few days thinking about all of the good that will come out of not drinking. Including keeping the person that means the most to me in the world, being more successful in life and in my job, and rebuilding respect from people that I have lost it to. In fact I don't know how many people this is or who they are but I'm fooling myself if I don't think there are any.
My advise (purely based on me and my experience) is talk to someone you completely trust. Don't underestimate your family either. It sounds like they love and support you and should be the people you can trust the most. I know the people I can trust because they have been the ones who were always there for me when I made my drunken mistakes. They were the ones that never judged and the ones that I now know love me unconditionally. So maybe pick one of them...just one, and sit down for a totally open, honest and confronting talk. Don't hold back. What you will be doing is admitting it to yourself and making it real. You may learn more about yourself than you ever knew.
I'm sure there may be other good options or suggestions to compliment this so I would keep an open mind, be strong, and do what you know is the right thing to do.
I wish you all the best
Andrew
I'm not sure I fit the qualification you are looking for but I can relate to your story. I am on day 3 of giving up. I feel I am quite strong to see if through once I have made my mind up but without a "shocking event" this can be quite hard. Mine came when I just about lost my partner after being out drinking and flirting with another woman. She was extremely upset and angry with me and after a lot of talking and self reflection I finally admitted that I was an alcoholic. After doing this I realised over the next couple of days that every stupid thing I have ever done, and every bad thing that ever happened to me was due to drinking (including two DUI's and three other arrests, as well as three previous significant relationships).
Admitting to her I had a problem was bad enough, but admitting to myself was probably harder. This is where I reflected back on my life and took stock of everything. I think it was the first time I have ever been so totally honest with myself. It was refreshing and liberating. From it I have spent the last few days thinking about all of the good that will come out of not drinking. Including keeping the person that means the most to me in the world, being more successful in life and in my job, and rebuilding respect from people that I have lost it to. In fact I don't know how many people this is or who they are but I'm fooling myself if I don't think there are any.
My advise (purely based on me and my experience) is talk to someone you completely trust. Don't underestimate your family either. It sounds like they love and support you and should be the people you can trust the most. I know the people I can trust because they have been the ones who were always there for me when I made my drunken mistakes. They were the ones that never judged and the ones that I now know love me unconditionally. So maybe pick one of them...just one, and sit down for a totally open, honest and confronting talk. Don't hold back. What you will be doing is admitting it to yourself and making it real. You may learn more about yourself than you ever knew.
I'm sure there may be other good options or suggestions to compliment this so I would keep an open mind, be strong, and do what you know is the right thing to do.
I wish you all the best
Andrew
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Allentown pennsylvania
Posts: 47
Hey man! Welcome to the forum. I'll start by saying I can relate to you in many ways as I am 27. I'm pretty new here myself, and am still unfamiliar with the forum to some degree, therefore I'll let someone else hook you up with links to resources. Im confident you'll find everyone here to be supportive, understanding, and insightful. The avenue I chose to begin my recovery was a medical detox, which was probably the best thing for me since I was drinking about a case of beer a day for around 5 months. I would say visit your doc and of course be honest with him about your drinking habits. He will decide the best route for you to go. It all depends on how much you've been drinking and for how long. Quitting cold turkey can be dangerous and the withdrawals can be pretty nasty. For those reasons I'd encourage you to see your doctor. It seems as though you're ready to quit and you have good reasons to do so man. Coming here is a good first step. The road to recovery I hope begins here for you. With a family and friends who want the best for you, your decision to quit will most likely make them proud of you. It's what u do from here that counts bro. God bless. Continue to search the forum and post.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Des Moines IA
Posts: 377
It appears you are at the point where you are giving up parts of your life to continue to drink, are depending on others to take the heat off you caused by your drinking and are in a lot of fear because the prospect of not drinking and thus not destroying the other parts of your life through your drinking is really scary.
It really is a turnabout in thinking, but living sober is far preferable to the drinking life, and it's not a terrible thing to be in our right minds, able to function well and not continually looking over our shoulders stuck in deepening fear of discovery or further losses.
Once you are sober, who you tell about your condition is your business. If you don't share that information others will never know, because we appear completely normal. When an alcoholic is drinking the word gets out and there is no hiding it. You are visible as an alcoholic to anyone very close to you. They can smell the sickness with the passage of a little time.
The alternative to living sober is to change jobs and sets of friends often, moving on whenever it's required. But, life generally declines as our drinking takes on more importance and we have to back away from normal involvements to protect it.
Of course you can get sober, you can see people here doing that and it would be no harder for you to accomplish than for them, should you decide to.
Or you can decide to continue paying the ever increasing costs of further drinking. At any age you will always have that choice to make.
I stopped at about your age and recommend that. It was rough enough.
It really is a turnabout in thinking, but living sober is far preferable to the drinking life, and it's not a terrible thing to be in our right minds, able to function well and not continually looking over our shoulders stuck in deepening fear of discovery or further losses.
Once you are sober, who you tell about your condition is your business. If you don't share that information others will never know, because we appear completely normal. When an alcoholic is drinking the word gets out and there is no hiding it. You are visible as an alcoholic to anyone very close to you. They can smell the sickness with the passage of a little time.
The alternative to living sober is to change jobs and sets of friends often, moving on whenever it's required. But, life generally declines as our drinking takes on more importance and we have to back away from normal involvements to protect it.
Of course you can get sober, you can see people here doing that and it would be no harder for you to accomplish than for them, should you decide to.
Or you can decide to continue paying the ever increasing costs of further drinking. At any age you will always have that choice to make.
I stopped at about your age and recommend that. It was rough enough.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: England
Posts: 81
Hi there!
You sound allot like me. I’m 26 years old, am at University doing the second year of my honours degree and have a fantastic, supportive family. I have great friendships, which have survived my seemingly endless attempts to savage them! I’m also only 19 days sober, so I’m not far off where you are now. I’m sure there are huge variances between our two situations, but there are certainly some key similarities, too.
I never considered rehab as an option. Because the NHS is a tax-funded socialist health care system, rehab isn’t as accessible as in the US (I lived in the US for a couple of years and know quite a few rehabbers). Of course rehab is an option for you, and everybody reaches abstinence differently, but here is my experience of being a young, professional alcoholic;
My health was deteriorating, though daily drinking meant I could overlook that aspect of my addiction. However the unremitting shame, dread and mental anguish I suffered was intolerable. Drinking was the cause, of course, but it was also the cure. The first couple of days sober, I felt disgusting; truly awful. The emotional turmoil of those two days quite honestly felt like physical pain, and not wishing to sound dramatic, I felt as though I really could not live through it. In reading SR posts, I discovered that this was normal for some people; various causes were mentioned (B vitamin deficiencies are often mentioned in the literature) and that it would subside.
Indeed it did, and 19 days later I feel better than I ever have done. I am better in all aspects of my life. Once you have made the decision to stop drinking, you don’t ever need to feel as I did in those first couple of days again. All it takes on your part is to not take that first drink.
Sorry this was such a long post, I really hope you find the help you need from SR. Be kind to yourself, and take responsibility.
You sound allot like me. I’m 26 years old, am at University doing the second year of my honours degree and have a fantastic, supportive family. I have great friendships, which have survived my seemingly endless attempts to savage them! I’m also only 19 days sober, so I’m not far off where you are now. I’m sure there are huge variances between our two situations, but there are certainly some key similarities, too.
I never considered rehab as an option. Because the NHS is a tax-funded socialist health care system, rehab isn’t as accessible as in the US (I lived in the US for a couple of years and know quite a few rehabbers). Of course rehab is an option for you, and everybody reaches abstinence differently, but here is my experience of being a young, professional alcoholic;
My health was deteriorating, though daily drinking meant I could overlook that aspect of my addiction. However the unremitting shame, dread and mental anguish I suffered was intolerable. Drinking was the cause, of course, but it was also the cure. The first couple of days sober, I felt disgusting; truly awful. The emotional turmoil of those two days quite honestly felt like physical pain, and not wishing to sound dramatic, I felt as though I really could not live through it. In reading SR posts, I discovered that this was normal for some people; various causes were mentioned (B vitamin deficiencies are often mentioned in the literature) and that it would subside.
Indeed it did, and 19 days later I feel better than I ever have done. I am better in all aspects of my life. Once you have made the decision to stop drinking, you don’t ever need to feel as I did in those first couple of days again. All it takes on your part is to not take that first drink.
Sorry this was such a long post, I really hope you find the help you need from SR. Be kind to yourself, and take responsibility.
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