sobercm

I managed to be sober for a month and then decided I had my drinking under control. And then went to a holiday party and drank. And proceeded to drink the next morning and it turned to a whole weekend. Now I am going through withdrawal again. So here I am back at day one. Your support or advice would be greatly appreciated.

Startingover444

Hi there
I know that feeling, we kid ourselves we can control ourselves but the reality is we cant. I think that once we have had an addiction problem it is likely that we will never be able to control our intake, no matter how much our head tells us we can
I gave up drinking 4.5 years ago after years of that stop start scenario.
Just learn from what happened. Maybe journal your feelings both good and bad and also get yourself a toolbox together for when you know you might be going into a dangerous situation.

Xune

Do you acknowledge that you are incapable of moderating the consumption of alcohol?

sobercm

Yes I do. I know I am incapable of controlling my alcohol consumption. Once I start, I don't stop until I am drunk.

Ghostlight

Okay, the trick is to not start then.
What has worked for me, is to think that first drink through to the end and the misery it'll bring.

I stopped and started back so many times I can't begin to fathom. And, going on a bender once I started.
Maybe a support group would help you. Have you considered that?

I know where you're coming from, and it's hard. You're not alone and it is possible to quit for good.

Best to you.

dragon12

sobercm I did much the same as you. I convinced myself that I didn't have much of a problem and that I could drink in moderation, despite my many failed attempts in the past.

My mind is still playing tricks....still trying to convince me that a couple of glasses of wine is fine but I'm fighting that little voice. I try to make sure that I'm well hydrated and not hungry and I have lots of plans to get fit. I'm still mustering up courage to go to AA.....I know I need to.

Good luck. If you were sober for one month you can do it again.

raja12

I have been through that cycle so many times. Don't be too hard on yourself,just get back to whatever kept you sober 4 that month,and try again. All we really have is 2day anyway.

terribob

Hey! This was my life too! My last day 1 was day 1 number 27 (ish). I know I can't moderate. Accepting that has been my biggest challenge!

duane1

Saw this on the Betty Ford Center website:

Question: You claim an alcoholic is incapable of returning to social drinking but I know of at least three people who have. Are they medical oddities?

Answer: Yes, they would be medical oddities! When the medial forebrain bundle of neurons in the base of the brain is exposed to enough heavy alcohol intake, a metaphorical switch in the brain is thrown. When this irreversible event occurs, the person can no longer expose that bundle of neurons to alcohol without developing an irresistible compulsion to drink more with loss of control. This happens regardless of how long the person may have been sober. The reason for this, established by neurological research, is that alcoholism is a chronic relapsing brain disease.

On the other hand, there are heavy drinkers whose alcohol use results in harmful consequences. However, they still retain the capability to quit if motivated. This is not alcoholism. It is alcohol abuse. These people have not suffered the permanent brain changes that alcoholics experience. The difference lies in the brain. The key behavioral characteristics are compulsion, loss of control and continued use in spite of adverse consequences.

Your three acquaintances are representatives of alcohol abuse, not alcohol dependence (the brain disease).

stepping

Sober - You CAN do this, welcome aboard

cat1961

Sober - sorry you lost your one month of sobriety and equally sorry about the withdrawals.

Glad you came back and want to start over. It's tough being in those social situations for many of us.

Today, I'm thankful that I'm sober and never want to go through the detox mode again. Next time you think of drinking, take yourself back to the withdrawal stage. You.do.not.want.to.go.there.

As others suggested, try the journalizing your thoughts and AA meetings.

Glad to see you in the December Class :ghug3

Hevyn

Hi sobercm. It was so hard for me to admit I couldn't take that first drink. I tried everything to not have to give it up. (Not sure why, since it was no longer fun in the least.) Attempting to control what I drank never worked for me, and it was so much easier to just stop playing with it. I was relieved to have it out of my life - it brought me nothing but misery in the end.

We're glad you're here to talk it over. There is life after alcohol.

sobercm

Thanks so much for all your kind words! And I definitely need to keep in mind how terrible detoxing is- maybe that'll make me think twice when I get the urge!

I look forward to keeping in touch with all of you! Reading the posts on here is what got me through the day.

Delilah1

Welcome back sobercm! You haven't lost those sober days, you know you can do it. It is great that you got right back on SR again, this site has been such a huge support for me. I am very grateful to everyone on here.

Keep posting and reading, you can do this!!!

ElleElle

I did the same.

At least I am now "aware" of this and not feeling guilty. (Which I believe causes my depression).

Next round- Christmas Eve! Sure hope I make it but I am "aware" that I may a little bit overboard and be tipsy.

With that said, there is 2013! A fresh start again.

I did have a craving this evening- but I made a nice dinner with a big glass of milk!

Hang in there!!!