michelleb1

So I've only today decided to take control of my "demon". I realise I have a drinking problem and want to go cold turkey but was going to wait until the Xmas party season is over and start the new year clean. My life has already begun so I need to make changes NOW!

I have drinking buddies who I have been drinking with for a long time. They are not going to adjust well to my new change of life (but they will have to deal with it!) I know the first few weeks are going to be the hardest so rather than wait till the new year I thought of this idea to help stay on the striaght and narrow while at parties and not have the pressure of friends trying to get me to drink. I'm going to bring an empty bottle of wine filled with non alcoholic wine...no one will know...and I won't be pressured into drinking!

Sounds crazy huh but I'll do anything to stop!

Just thought I would make the suggestion in case others have friends who pressure them to drink

Sazzle

I have friends who drink loads (that's why I did). I told them all I'd given up for November. I went out a lot less but when I was out for a friend's 40th no one hassled me. They have all been complimenting me on how great I look (7 weeks today) and so I told them that it might be a permanent thing now as I feel so great as well.

It's difficult, I won't lie, but ultimately it's your body. No one can force drink on you. An old licensee plonked a bottle of my fave red wine down in front of me in my first week and I ordered water, asked for the cap back from the staff and gave it to my flatmate to take home. It bemused me because when I was actively drinking no one ever bought me a £20 bottle of red wine in a pub before. Some people will see it as a challenge.

The best advice I can give is to always have a drink in your hand, an exit strategy (walk away) and the foresight to not attend if it may compromise or undermine your commitment to your body and yourself.

Good luck. It is an interesting and rewarding journey.

S x

Dee74

well I don't want to pour cold water on your idea but I tried all those things Michelle...

I was a beer drinker, and I tried drinking NA beer...

I found three things - one I found I was *very* resentful that my drink wasn't giving me the same buzz my mates were getting...

two...noone knew I quit so people kept offering me drinks..

and three...once my NA beer was gone...guess what I did?

I wish you well - I hope it works....

I know it would be great if we could quit without actually changing anything else in our lives, or looking different in anyway...

but for most of us - it just doesn't work like that.

D

NevarCiots

What is your favorite soda? Drink sprite all night or root beer.

Just so you know, if booze is present, just be safe ok. When alcohol is around responsibility and sanity can go out the window. Ok? Try to have fun NO drinking. I have played video games harder than that. GL!

instant

There is no easy or sure fire way around all this stuff. Things are what they are. Saying no at celebrations whilst withdrawing is not easy.

What you try is up to you. If I tired your plan I think the likely outcome would be a "&**k it" moment at about 9.30pm.

I recall going to a quiz night some months before I quit. I started with the the goal of no drinking. I drank water until I couldn't stand it anymore, I was trapped socially and could not go home early. I ended up wasted.

I had to be a hermit for a while- it worked for me- in the end my wife supported that approach- I was not able to do it any other way

ReadyAtLast

I'm not going to parties or seeing friends who drink this season. I have to put my sobriety first,not my friends' feelings and wishes.

There will be family functions of course but I'm not drinking at them

we are all different but for me, going to the old places with the same people,pretending to drink would just lead me back to the real thing-its just too tempting

I hope it works for you

PohsFriend

New friends!

My wife entered recovery just before new years. In the past year she had one slip of a single drink and one of three days. 18 months ago she was stage 4 and hospitalized after self detoxing led to seizure and heart failure. Today her friends are the girls from her Aa group, she's a newlywed and has a month old baby.

We learned that recovery was hard. For her and hard on relationships but you can do it. We removed temptation, it is hard enough when you don't hang around people who drink.

I'm hopeful for you. AA gave us a second chance and my baby boy his best chance. It has to be all in, not just one toe but the payoff is so worth it

ElleElle

If they "pressure" you to think then they are the losers. Just politely say you are not drinking and have some cranberry and soda with a twist of lemon. If they get upset, they are not your friends. (Sorry to be blunt)

GoodBug

This is a hard one for me as much of my binge drinking happens at social gatherings, happy hours, parties, etc. It makes me feel uncomfortable to be the only one not drinking as people ask questions, etc. With my close friends I am comfortable telling them I want to be siber, but I don't really want to go into that with some not-so-close friends.

I haven't had a drink in 3 days but have some previously scheduled parties that I've already committed to attend.

I have a movie night this Sunday (the movie is actually secondary to the copious amount of wine we drink) and I'm going to tell my friends that I haven't been feeling well or have a stomach ache and don't feel like drinking.

Which my husband said: In a way, it's not a lie. Drinking DOES make me feel unwell.

instant

With time you will learn that most of the "uncomfortableness" comes from unfamiliarity and that you are still early in sobriety. I was having physical urges for a good few months on and off.

I have found that most people drink very little.

I now take no notice of what people drink, unless they are getting drunk.

michelleb1

I've decided this is what I am going to do, say I'm having a dry Decemeber and then continue with the feeling great theme from there. Thanks for the idea Sazzle

ReadyAtLast

I know its hard to avoid people but please be aware of the impact others around you drinking can have,especially so early in recovery. All of my relapses have been when I've been with others drinking, I started out with no intention to drink but as time went on and the drink flowed I just could not resist.

I hope you are different and wish you the best

Mafalda

I'm wondering why are you tempting yourself ? I too agree with maybe it's too early I just quit a few days ago and said no to all party invitations. It's easy to say " I came down with something , I don't feel very well ". People will want you to stay away.
There are two events I can't avoid , dinner with my heavy drinking family, I enlisted my sister for help on watching over me and my own businesses Christmas party which I selfishly booked at a venue known for its lousy beer and wine. Call me a snob but I can't drink bad stuff. If you decide to go and party please keep in mind that you might think one drink is not much but if you have been sober for a few that one drink might make you lose all your common sense. It's a tough season to quit and I'm trying to do it as well so I know it's hard to avoid. The other one is that you are on antibiotics since saying you are going dry might not be enough for your friends not to insist. It sucks to be sober when everyone else is having a good time until the next day when you are feeling great and your friends are feeling like crap!

tomsteve

why not just stay away from wet faces and wet places?
hang around a barbershop long enough and i'll eventually get a haircut.
for me it would be russian roullette.
it doesnt sound crazy, it sounds insane.

michelleb1

Yeah I think you guys are right
#cough cough

David10

Parties often revolve around getting drunk so I personally have no real interest in going to them but I like to be social so I will go to the meal and stay for an hour but I'm leaving early.

tomsteve

theres a whole lotta fun out there to be had with people who dont drink. its a matter of findin what ya like to do and the people who share them likes.

Fernaceman

And if I must attend a social gathering that involves alcohol, I make sure I have a real good reason to be there.

sugarbear1

my real friends support my decisions.

JungleGirl

I think the Dry December idea is your best bet until you become more comfortable.

I found the first month the hardest mainly when I was involved in social situations, not because I wanted to drink but just because I felt uncomfortable being the only sober person but after a while it just becomes second nature and people get used to you not drinking, you would be surprised how many people just don't really care!!

Besides the best part is being able to drive yourself home and wake up without the hangover all your friends have Someone on this forum said to me once "I've never woken up after a night out and thought dang, I wish I had of drank last night" and that was such a good seed to plant on those social occaions because it's so true!

Stick at the sobriety thing, it truly does get easier good luck x