Struggling lately
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Maryland
Posts: 127
Struggling lately
Hi all:
I'm approaching 90 days sober thanks to my IOP program, group therapy and this forum, but lately I've been really struggling. Thoughts of drinking keep entering my head at random times, and emotionally I feel flat and wrung out. I'm hanging in there and don't think a relapse is in my future, but it's hard right now, harder than it was a month ago and I don't know why. Perhaps it's the holidays, the time of year, discontent with my job, all of the above. Truthfully, even getting on SR is depressing at times when I used to find it uplifting. Lately, reading all these stories of relapse and woe gets to me and makes me sad, which it didn't use to do. Any suggestions of how to get through this slump? Has anyone else gone through this at 90 days?
Thanks all, and sorry to be such a downer...
I'm approaching 90 days sober thanks to my IOP program, group therapy and this forum, but lately I've been really struggling. Thoughts of drinking keep entering my head at random times, and emotionally I feel flat and wrung out. I'm hanging in there and don't think a relapse is in my future, but it's hard right now, harder than it was a month ago and I don't know why. Perhaps it's the holidays, the time of year, discontent with my job, all of the above. Truthfully, even getting on SR is depressing at times when I used to find it uplifting. Lately, reading all these stories of relapse and woe gets to me and makes me sad, which it didn't use to do. Any suggestions of how to get through this slump? Has anyone else gone through this at 90 days?
Thanks all, and sorry to be such a downer...
Been there, done that!
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: London
Posts: 539
hi shoebox,
Well done on 90 days. life will happen regardless of sobriety or not somedays we feel down somedays we dont. why dont you look at it another way, how would you be feeling if you was hungover today?? or how did you feel that day you decided you had enough and committed to sobriety.
Stay strong keep pushing forward maybe get a new hobbie something that you have never tried before....
Well done on 90 days. life will happen regardless of sobriety or not somedays we feel down somedays we dont. why dont you look at it another way, how would you be feeling if you was hungover today?? or how did you feel that day you decided you had enough and committed to sobriety.
Stay strong keep pushing forward maybe get a new hobbie something that you have never tried before....
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Mayflower, AR
Posts: 416
Congrats on the 90 days!!!!!!
I also went through what you are describing around the 90 day mark and according to my therapist it is not uncommonto feel this. The time of the year could also be a factor. Take a deep breath and think about the sober days you have enjoyed and how lousy you felt while drinking. You can get past this and you will thank yourself when you push through. I talked myself through because I was determined to make the 100 day mark lol .
Find what works for you. Stay strong, you can do this, look how far you have already come and by the way, I am now almost nine months sober.
I also went through what you are describing around the 90 day mark and according to my therapist it is not uncommonto feel this. The time of the year could also be a factor. Take a deep breath and think about the sober days you have enjoyed and how lousy you felt while drinking. You can get past this and you will thank yourself when you push through. I talked myself through because I was determined to make the 100 day mark lol .
Find what works for you. Stay strong, you can do this, look how far you have already come and by the way, I am now almost nine months sober.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Baton Rouge, La.
Posts: 15,236
I do understand your feelings. For me, just
knowing someone else understands make
staying sober today a little bit more comforting.
Being around others who are just like me,
struggling to stay sober and staying close
to those with knowledge and experience in
staying sober themselves is what helped me
stay sober each day.
To not be alone in my thoughts, to not wallow
alone in my pity, or selfishness. To remember
that drinking would only make things in my life
worse.
With 22yrs sobriety, to help me stay sober
this day, I am here in SR sharing my own
experiences, strengths and hopes of what
life was like before, during and after my drinking
career with others struggling with addiction.
In doing so, it helps me get out of myself and
help someone else. It helps me to put the focus
on something else while I am still saddened by
the lost of my 2 cats within the last 3 months.
Its that emptiness I feel inside. Its that lost of
not knowing what to do now that I dont have
cats to take care of. They depended on me and
now they are in a better place with no pain, yet
what do I do with my time now?
Its not easy right now with that lost, but I do
know that in time it will get easier. Time is the
key and answer for relief of pain and emptiness.
So what do I do to fill in that void? I certainly
dont want to drink because that would mean
hoping back on that crazy merry go round or
the ups and downs of a roller ride of emotions.
For me, I have to stick with the winners as was
taught to me from the very beginning. Allow them
to carry me for however long I needed them to
till Im strong enough to stand on the foundation
of recovery I was building for myself.
Today, I live upon those steps and principles
taught to me from the beginning by all those
who learned to stay sober a many one days
at a time themselves. They taught it to me and
now I can pass it on to others.
You have experiences, strengths and hopes
to pass it on to those with one day sober. Share
with them to give them hope that if u can stay
sober for 30 day now, they can too. Just share
how and what you are doing without telling them
what to do. Allow others to follow you by example.
It's amazing how when I take the focus off my
own problems and help someone else I forget
why I was unhappy in the first place.
knowing someone else understands make
staying sober today a little bit more comforting.
Being around others who are just like me,
struggling to stay sober and staying close
to those with knowledge and experience in
staying sober themselves is what helped me
stay sober each day.
To not be alone in my thoughts, to not wallow
alone in my pity, or selfishness. To remember
that drinking would only make things in my life
worse.
With 22yrs sobriety, to help me stay sober
this day, I am here in SR sharing my own
experiences, strengths and hopes of what
life was like before, during and after my drinking
career with others struggling with addiction.
In doing so, it helps me get out of myself and
help someone else. It helps me to put the focus
on something else while I am still saddened by
the lost of my 2 cats within the last 3 months.
Its that emptiness I feel inside. Its that lost of
not knowing what to do now that I dont have
cats to take care of. They depended on me and
now they are in a better place with no pain, yet
what do I do with my time now?
Its not easy right now with that lost, but I do
know that in time it will get easier. Time is the
key and answer for relief of pain and emptiness.
So what do I do to fill in that void? I certainly
dont want to drink because that would mean
hoping back on that crazy merry go round or
the ups and downs of a roller ride of emotions.
For me, I have to stick with the winners as was
taught to me from the very beginning. Allow them
to carry me for however long I needed them to
till Im strong enough to stand on the foundation
of recovery I was building for myself.
Today, I live upon those steps and principles
taught to me from the beginning by all those
who learned to stay sober a many one days
at a time themselves. They taught it to me and
now I can pass it on to others.
You have experiences, strengths and hopes
to pass it on to those with one day sober. Share
with them to give them hope that if u can stay
sober for 30 day now, they can too. Just share
how and what you are doing without telling them
what to do. Allow others to follow you by example.
It's amazing how when I take the focus off my
own problems and help someone else I forget
why I was unhappy in the first place.
Night owl
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Orion spur of the Milky Way galaxy
Posts: 2,050
Hi shoebox, I totally relate to what you are saying. I'm almost two months off of oxy and am struggling with all of the things you are. I am seeking solutions, too, but just wanted you to know I feel for you and you aren't alone. This is a truly hard journey. And it is incredible you've made 90 days. I hope these hard times will pass for both of us.
Night owl
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Orion spur of the Milky Way galaxy
Posts: 2,050
Hi aasharon~ Thanks for your words, they are helping me, too. Also I wanted to say how sorry I am about the loss of your cats. In the past four years I lost three cats and I know how hard it is to lose these closest of family members. My four-legged family kept me going many a time when I was ready to check out so I know what a huge loss you are suffering.
In time the days where you remember all the love you shared with them will outnumber the days of grief and loss. It takes awhile but it does happen. In the meantime if you want to talk about it feel free to PM me.
Take care from one catlover to another,
Lyoness =^o^=
In time the days where you remember all the love you shared with them will outnumber the days of grief and loss. It takes awhile but it does happen. In the meantime if you want to talk about it feel free to PM me.
Take care from one catlover to another,
Lyoness =^o^=
A Day at a Time
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Grand Rapids MI
Posts: 6,435
I think we all go through these funks at least I know I do and I have known numerous others who have. For me when this happens I am trapped in myself. I have found there are two solutions. One is to reach out to others and lend a helping hand. Do something good for another human. Do anything that gets me out of me. The second is to is to challenge myself in recovery. I am an AA fan so I may go to more or other meetings, I may rework a step, I may discuss a challenge with a sponsor or sponsee. I may re-read something on staying sober. It has been my experience that if we are not moving forward in recovery we are moving backwards.
One thing you brought up reading all these stories of relapse and woe gets to me and makes me sad, I know what you mean but this is the nature of being around recovery. Being around recovery is about positive and negative re-enforcement. You see what works for people and what does not.
I believe I was choosen to stay sober, I was given a new life and I plan on doing something constructive by hopefully making the world just a little bit better. You made it to 90 days share your knowledge and maybe you will help someone get to where you are.
One thing you brought up reading all these stories of relapse and woe gets to me and makes me sad, I know what you mean but this is the nature of being around recovery. Being around recovery is about positive and negative re-enforcement. You see what works for people and what does not.
I believe I was choosen to stay sober, I was given a new life and I plan on doing something constructive by hopefully making the world just a little bit better. You made it to 90 days share your knowledge and maybe you will help someone get to where you are.
Nothing Left to do but Smile.
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Upstate NY
Posts: 808
I too had a little unrest in my recovery around the 90 day mark. Lasted a week or two. Haven't experienced anything like that since. Remember, don't drink today. That is how I got through it.
SR Fan
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
Hi Shoebox -
I had similar ups and downs and I do think the holidays can be stressful and feel kind of "blah" sometimes. Have you read anything on PAWS? It might explain some of the things you are feeling, too:
Post-Acute Withdrawal Symptoms - Relapse Prevention Strategies
In my opinion, part of recovery is learning that we can get through these times and come out even better on the other side. Hang in there!:ghug3
I had similar ups and downs and I do think the holidays can be stressful and feel kind of "blah" sometimes. Have you read anything on PAWS? It might explain some of the things you are feeling, too:
Post-Acute Withdrawal Symptoms - Relapse Prevention Strategies
In my opinion, part of recovery is learning that we can get through these times and come out even better on the other side. Hang in there!:ghug3
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: UK
Posts: 5,678
I felt like that around the 3 month mark Shoebox. I think it was because physically I was feeling so much better, and being further away from the reasons I stopped drinking made me forget and therefore I had more cravings. I have had a lot of ups and downs early on but I knew/believed that as long as I didn't drink things would get better. It's okay to have a slump and feel depressed about stuff, just know that it will pass. Focus on the positive and keep moving forwards x
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,378
I think it's very very common shoebox - 90 days is just long enough for us to forget the worst of the insanity and it's a little too soon for sobriety to be familiar and/opr comfortable...
use the support you have - and stay focused.
You'll get through this
D
use the support you have - and stay focused.
You'll get through this
D
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 929
The reality of recovery from alcohol and drug addiction is a whole lot of people are going to fail...but a whole lot succeed as well!
That's just the way this thing goes. So, maybe focus on things you can control, like your sobriety?
If you want a success story, I'm going throw humility out the window.
Not only have I stopped drinking, saving my life, my job, reputation, marriage ( hopefully) health and family...but I have revolutionized the way I live! I assure you, this is no pink cloud talking...this is the real deal.
I am immensely proud of my success and don't get me wrong, the human condition dictates that darker days will come, but guess what?
I'll be sober.
That's just the way this thing goes. So, maybe focus on things you can control, like your sobriety?
If you want a success story, I'm going throw humility out the window.
Not only have I stopped drinking, saving my life, my job, reputation, marriage ( hopefully) health and family...but I have revolutionized the way I live! I assure you, this is no pink cloud talking...this is the real deal.
I am immensely proud of my success and don't get me wrong, the human condition dictates that darker days will come, but guess what?
I'll be sober.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: San Diego
Posts: 522
Originally Posted by Dee74 
90 days is just long enough for us to forget the worst of the insanity and it's a little too soon for sobriety to be familiar and/opr comfortable...
But it's all good, as long as I practice gratitude, and stick with the winners, here at SR and in "real life".
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