sadstate

Ok so after years of binge drinking he finally went to AA. About 5 years ago it started out only once or twice a year and now it is escalating. It happens about Once every other month and he mostly gets quiet and goes to bed. Couple questions. Does AA say that they cannot be around drinking AT ALL? Knowing that he cant have even one drink, he usually does pretty good for a month or two but ALL our friends drink wine socially. Here at Christmas time, lots of parties. Should we not go? If we do go, should I not drink anything since he cannot? I'm not a big drinker, just like to have a glass of wine. I respect his effort and I can certainly give it up.
We started attending church and I hope to meet other couples that do not drink, because we are very social.

PohsFriend

Sadstate - congrats on his going to AA! Without Aa I think I would have lost my wife. Her first meeting was about a year ago. She has had two lapses but hasn't been drunk and life is so much better. We are married and just had a baby.

I've heard different things like I should feel free to drink since my wife is an alcoholic, not me. I don't drink in front of her or when she would have to smell it. That's line eating a nice gooey brownie in front of someone on a diet IMHO. I'll drink if I'm out with my guy friends and away from home for the night but not much.

We don't understand their urge to drink. We might like to drink but they crave it and fixate on it. If they can abstain, I can.

As far as the social needs.... Lol, YOU should go to an open Aa meeting with him sometime. My wife's Aa group has become family. These folks used to be the party people and once they sober up they are still fun

Congrats and I hope it helps

BoxinRotz

I like a beer every now and again but I gave it and the thought of having it in the house up a couple years ago. I wanted a beer after doing some yard work one evening after he left drunk on his Harley. I asked my Mummy (boxer dog) if we should go get a 6 pack and I quickly decided not to because I didn't want the ass to drink it!

I would try to avoid functions with my AH in the future (he's going to counceling and trying to sober up) that involve alcohol, only because he is new on the path to recovery but this is my opinion and I don't see him arguing with it. He has given his own mother up in the past because she is an alcoholic as well and basically lets him have at it. She tells me she won't give it to him and when he goes over, she offers him the bottle.

We live a quiet life. We don't go out to parties or anything. I like it that way. He doesn't have drinking buddies though. He drinks alone, especially when no one is home.

jessiec

Praise God! Wishing him and you the absolute best! My RABF is five months sober, active with meetings and his sponsor. And it has been such a lifesaver!

I don't think there are any conditions placed on the company one keeps. That said, it might be very difficult for him, especially in these early days, to spend time around drinkers.

My RABF wanted to avoid parties at first -- he just didnt want to be around that atmosphere. But he went to my company party this weekend and seemed comfortable.

I still have the occasional glass of wine if we're out at dinner (which he encourages). And I have my girls nights with friends that enjoy a cocktail or two. But beyond that, *I* don't want to spend much time around people who drink a lot.