OT venting again/not sure will ever be able to get this
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Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 342
OT venting again/not sure will ever be able to get this
My RAH not drinking about 6 - 8 months I think, although his last claim was 1 1/2 years based on his "medallion?" from AA. (not a date/time he specifically remembers.)
Anyhow I tell him a couple of weeks ago that it would be nice if he could take at least 1 day/week to cook a meal for our family so I could focus on some other things and have a break from day to day caring of all of us. He used to cook quite often when he was drinking, kind of like he was pulling the focus off of that by taking care of stuff. He agreed and I am trying to use this time wisely, relax and focus on other things.
I need to vent though because instead of this being a sharing of responsibilities it's like RAH is saving the world. He calls me up this afternoon, not to say hello (which he very rarely does anyway) but to let me know he is going home soon and will cook the dinner but then he has to go back to work to finish up. Mind you, he has a pretty flexible schedule and a lot of leeway to plan his day/week and how it plays out. When we are both home he makes a big fuss about how he is cooking now and wants to know what I am doing.
Well, I am reading. I am on this site because I just can't seem to feel settled. I am peeved that he has to go back into work and that his attitude is him cooking dinner is the biggest sacrifice.
Just keeping my mouth shut is what I am going to do and hope for some wisdom from my HP. There are so many triggers for me in this scenario and I am not sure why. Part of it is the times he did go back to work in the past, to drink the night away. Another part is his attitude and my not be able to get over it to appreciate a helping hand.
Ugh. Sorry for the rant. I am going to act as if right now - grateful for this break and enjoy a meal cooked by "my loving partner".
Anyhow I tell him a couple of weeks ago that it would be nice if he could take at least 1 day/week to cook a meal for our family so I could focus on some other things and have a break from day to day caring of all of us. He used to cook quite often when he was drinking, kind of like he was pulling the focus off of that by taking care of stuff. He agreed and I am trying to use this time wisely, relax and focus on other things.
I need to vent though because instead of this being a sharing of responsibilities it's like RAH is saving the world. He calls me up this afternoon, not to say hello (which he very rarely does anyway) but to let me know he is going home soon and will cook the dinner but then he has to go back to work to finish up. Mind you, he has a pretty flexible schedule and a lot of leeway to plan his day/week and how it plays out. When we are both home he makes a big fuss about how he is cooking now and wants to know what I am doing.
Well, I am reading. I am on this site because I just can't seem to feel settled. I am peeved that he has to go back into work and that his attitude is him cooking dinner is the biggest sacrifice.
Just keeping my mouth shut is what I am going to do and hope for some wisdom from my HP. There are so many triggers for me in this scenario and I am not sure why. Part of it is the times he did go back to work in the past, to drink the night away. Another part is his attitude and my not be able to get over it to appreciate a helping hand.
Ugh. Sorry for the rant. I am going to act as if right now - grateful for this break and enjoy a meal cooked by "my loving partner".
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Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 137
Its hard to have to tell them how great they are, when they do the 'simple' tasks we have been doing for years without any appreciation!!
I am with you on this, and must stew and vent at least 8 times a day as I am in the very fortunate position to have my RAH at home all the time, helping with everything- and its exhausting!
I am with you on this, and must stew and vent at least 8 times a day as I am in the very fortunate position to have my RAH at home all the time, helping with everything- and its exhausting!
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