My AH is Seeking Treatment as I Type This!

Old 12-11-2012, 09:25 AM
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My AH is Seeking Treatment as I Type This!

He's acting. I'm listening to him going through those actions.

He told the woman he's been drinking 2 pints of vodka a day. He's being honest and it's all I can ask for right now. We are about to walk the road to recovery and he's going to lead the way. I won't be far behind him. I'm going to stand beside him and watch closely and quietly.

His actions are speaking to me. It's nice not to hear the lies. His appointment is on Monday. It's now time to see if he goes.
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Old 12-11-2012, 09:37 AM
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That is awesome!

Ya know, it's easy to get caught up in what has happened and hold onto it. I sure learned that lately. Doing one good thing doesn't make up for bad things in the past but I truly believe that it changes the game when you can swallow hard, set the past aside for now and simply be grateful and proud and let someone know

"that took a lot of courage and I am really proud of you for taking that step. I care about you"

Sometimes people say "well fine but you have a lonnnnng way to go to earn my trust!"

Thinking that is one thing - it makes sense. Speaking it is another, when doing the right thing gets you beaten up and reminded of te past the desire to improve your behavior goes down.

...and I know you care, lol. Nobody could be that pissed off at someone who didn't matter to them. Love and hate are close cousins, ambivalence is the opposite of love and you damn sure ain't ambivalent yet!

I'm happy for you. So what if it is step one on a long road? If you don't celebrate each good thing until everything is fixed you will be miserable and so will he.

Today, let yourself be happy and let him know it means a lot. He can't walk that mile without that first step.

This made MY day :-)
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Old 12-11-2012, 09:46 AM
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Someday, I will forgive him!!!
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Old 12-11-2012, 10:03 AM
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I had the same thing happen a week ago. I'm happy for you. Be happy for the now. One thing I tried to remind myself and still do daily is tht it's just the beginning. It's a huge step but it doesn't mean everything is magically changed. Be proud and be happy but remember to take one day at a time. I wish him the best in his recovery! I'm very happy for you that he is taking this step!

As a side note-I reccommend searching for one of te best rehabs. My rabf is at one that he doesn't feel is doing any good. They aren't meeting wth individual counselors-and very few group meetings. He is getting very frustrated. When he decided he wanted help he wanted To go and get started. That meant calling a hunch of places that came up in nj from google and seeing who had space to take him ASAP. If we could go back we would do more
Research on the best rehab he could get into. Just wanted to share our experience so hopefully your ah can get ito a great program! Best of luck!!
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Old 12-11-2012, 10:17 AM
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Yayyyyy!!!!!!!!
Im jumping gor joy. Im so happy.
Im not going to take that sway from you with dread. It could go well.
So im crossing fingers for you
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Old 12-11-2012, 10:27 AM
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I havent commented on your posts box, but I love reading them. Good for him. Good for you that you stick to your guns. (pun intended).
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Old 12-11-2012, 10:28 AM
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We are in the first stages of baby steps. I have heard for the last 2 years that he has all the tools he needs because he *enjoyed* 20 years of sobriety. In 2009 he fell off the wagon and traded his 20 years of sobriety in for a drunk award. Those 20 years are gone, never to be celebrated again. They are just 20 years of his past that he can not add to. Those 20 years tell me he can do this because he has. He did it for himself.

I told him the other day he needed inpatient rehabilitation like the first time when he first found sobriety. He said no. I wasn't happy. Of course I wasn't. He said he would seek individual counseling and go to AA. That in and of itself is HUGE for him because he has always said, I have what I need to do this but in reality, he does not because he will not use those tools.

I went out on a limb and asked if individual counceling was enough, paired with AA in the alcohol forum and they have said, YES! If he WANTS it. Right now, him seeking counseling and surrendering to AA and his addiction to alcohol is enough for me, to back off a bit and say to myself, lets try this. If it doesn't work, we have more options if we need to explore them. He knows himself and his addiction better than me. He's been down this road by himself before. I am going to let him chose for himself because I can not control this and since he has decided to go to some form of treatment, I am not going to argue with it because he called, he made an appointment and he didn't sulk from it. I'm going to continue to stand beside him and walk into the unknown, whether it's the right or wrong way, where ever we end up, we will figure out if he made the right choice in the direction he chose for him as a person or not.

Time. It's all we have is time. One day at a time.
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Old 12-11-2012, 10:29 AM
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Originally Posted by MadeOfGlass View Post
I havent commented on your posts box, but I love reading them. Good for him. Good for you that you stick to your guns. (pun intended).
Always locked and loaded.
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Old 12-11-2012, 10:32 AM
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As a side note-I am in no way trying to be negative if anyone took it that way. Admitting and choosing to go to rehab is HUGE! I couldn't Be prouder of my abf and I couldn't be prouder of your ah! It's an amazing feeling when they finally decide to change. I am so very happy for you and for him! Just wanted to give some advice so he can hopefully get into a better program than my abf is in. Sorry if it came out wrong in any way!
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Old 12-11-2012, 10:33 AM
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Originally Posted by thislonelygirl View Post
Yayyyyy!!!!!!!!
Im jumping gor joy. Im so happy.
Im not going to take that sway from you with dread. It could go well.
So im crossing fingers for you
It's a process. Baby steps right! You can't walk the mile just standing there. It's a step into recovery, no matter how small and insignificant it seems.

I hold my breath everyday that he makes the right choices for him. He deserves to be happy and love himself for who he is no matter what he's done.
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Old 12-11-2012, 10:34 AM
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Originally Posted by bamboo10 View Post
As a side note-I am in no way trying to be negative if anyone took it that way. Admitting and choosing to go to rehab is HUGE! I couldn't Be prouder of my abf and I couldn't be prouder of your ah! It's an amazing feeling when they finally decide to change. I am so very happy for you and for him! Just wanted to give some advice so he can hopefully get into a better program than my abf is in. Sorry if it came out wrong in any way!
Don't be sorry! :ghug3
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Old 12-11-2012, 10:37 AM
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