whatnow

Does anyone out there have advice for me. My husband is an alcholic and doens't believe he is (of course). Anyway I try to ignore it and go on with my life but some days it is so overwhelming I can hardly stand it. He doesn't seem to care that it is affecting our relationship. Of course he probably doesn't see it like I do. This has been progressing the last four years and now he drinks everyday. The other day my 19 year old daughter was bitten by our pitbull. Luckily it wasn't bad. When my husband got home we told him. His first reaction was "you guys need to stop trying to breakup his fights. Then he asked if she was okay. Years ago before his main concern was his beer he would have shot the dog. If frustrates me that he just doesn't seem to care about his family anymore. The thing he worries about most is when he gets his next beer. I hope somebody has some advice for me to help me get through this.

Jeff_C

Welcome to the site. You’re in the right place, and you will find a boatload of folks in the same situation. Ya might want to find some F2F meetings locally where ya are, and catch a few meetings so ya can really get “the flavor� of what our solution is.

Although it may seem somewhat odd to ya, this has nothing to do with him, and everything to do with you. But settle in, cruise the boards, and get a feel for what’s going on. We’re glad to have ya, Just know that there IS a solution, and that you can be an integral part of it.
Jeff

Gabe

Hey whatnow,
Welcome, I'm glad you joined us.
There is not much you can do about your husband's drinking.
But there are a lot of things you can do for yourself.
Coming here was a good start.
Have you thought about going to Alanon meetings? They are a great way to meet people who are going through things similar to what you're going through.
The power posts at the top of the board have lots of great information in them.
Stick around.
Peace,
Gabe

smoke gets in my eyes

Hi whatnow, and welcome.

About that pitbull... one of the things you'll learn in alanon is to stop relying on the addicted person in your life to do important sensible things. You may have to take matters into your own hands where the dog is concerned.

Please think about attending live alanon meetings, or at least read up some on codependency... and hang out here with us. In alanon you will discover strength you didn't know you had, and as you feel stronger, it will hurt less that you're not able to rely on your husband. You might want to read some of the "power posts" on this and the naranon forum... just some threads we thought had particularly good info for our newcomers. Make yourself right at home!

Hugs,
Smoke

whatnow

Thanks for the advice. Who knows someday soon the dog may come up missing! Didn't want the thing in the first place. Once again my feelings didn't matter. What mattered was he wanted him.
I know I need to do this for myself. I am hoping that being on this sight will give me the strength to change my life and find myself again.

Magichappens

Hey whatnow,
Welcome. I can't add much to the suggestions other than to say that Alanon has changed my life and healed my heart. There are many tools available to help us. All we have to do is become willing to receive them. I don't know if anyone mentioned the power posts at the top of the forum. They are really informative. Glad you are here. You are not alone. Hugs, Magic

whatnow

thanks for your welcome.
I really like your quote at the bottom of your reply.

Helping Myself

Welcome whatnow. Living with an alcoholic is definitely not any fun. I know how you feel, but I also know your feelings can be changed. That is not easy either, but there is a LOT of support here. I have not actually been to a face to face Al-Anon meeting yet, but there are nightly online Al-Anon meetings that are also very helpful if you cannot get to a meeting. Keep coming back. We are happy to have you here and the folks here have wonderful insight. Take care of you.