KRA

So I've never really had a warm and happy Christmas and don't have to work it this year. I lost almost all of my friends during the relationship with my x and the friends we had as a couple after the relationship ended, partly because I wanted to ensure no connection to her and partly because she told a lot of lies about me that made her out to be a victim.

I wasn't going to do anything for Xmas, but am now thinking I'm going to treat myself. Buy myself something nice, with cash, that I normally wouldn't buy and maybe do something nice that day. Like maybe eat some food I normally don't cause it's expensive. Any way, I'm looking for ideas and am curious as to how everyone else is spending their holiday.

I'm thinking I may get myself an iPad mini or new sneakers. I want the iPad mini to use on the subway to/from work, but am worried I'll get jacked for it, so I have to think it through since I'm often commuting late at night or in the wee hours of the morning.

Thoughts? I see a counselor sometimes and she suggested I do something nice for myself on Christmas. I wouldn't have thought of doing it myself, but very much like the idea.

Kassie2

I can relate... I think it is important to our recovery to start living life as we think we want it to be. If treating yourself to a gift well then... do it. If you want different food for the holiday go for it.

I was trying hard to figure out just when I spent the first holiday without my XAH... we had so many separations before I cut the chord. I think I planned to take myself out to dinner so that I would not feel so alone - and to my surprise there were not any restaurants open for dinner on Christmas. I didn't have anything but peanut butter because I was planning to go out. A friend was supposed to spend it with me and got sick - he sat on the phone for awhile helping me to locate a restaurant and it didn't happen. So I settled for PB &J. My friend reminded me that eventho it didn't turn out the way I planned - I could still be grateful and see the gift I gave myself - getting out of a bad situation that was only getting worse.

I actually saw that point and let go of any negativity - grateful for the freedom - the strength and hope to see the day through and a friend when all others had deserted me. Aside from the lack of food choices - it was a good day.

BoxinRotz

I forced myself to put my tree up this year and AH had me so mad early Sunday morning that I was going to take it down and pack it all away on Tuesday. My brother hosted Thanksgiving this year because he didn't want my mom alone because my sister passed in March at 36 years of age and he wants to start anew with traditions. I was going to host Christmas and ya know what... I called it off. Why? Because my AH has put me through the ringer, called off work and has made it virtually impossible to have a feast and buy gifts for the guest like I had wanted to so it's going to be *just another day* and I just don't care this year. We'll see if he throws the drunk card into it to top off the *just another day* sh!t.

KRA

Crossing the iPad mini off my Xmas list. Too expensive for me right now and it's too nice to have out on the subway very early morning/late evening without causing problems. Am gonna budget about $100, maybe $120, to buy myself a gift with and eat. And there are no parameters for my gift. It doesn't have to be practical. Just has to make me happy and not break the bank. And I know that I'll probably be spending the day at home since most things will be closed. Not even gonna try to go to a restaurant. Though the movie theaters in my neighborhood are always open on Xmas.

Think I may do something similar for myself in the spring for my birthday.

wellnowwhat

sometimes restaurants located in hotels are open for the travellors.

jessiec

What about volunteering on Christmas? There's no better gift than giving!