thislonelygirl

So ah comes home this morning. Thought court was today ...got days wrong its not but coming up close.
We hang around the house...he drinks 4 beers. I dont saything. Then he asks if I want to go anywhere. Get out of the house. I say no..its cold etc lets just stay in. Time goes on and I think about it ( big mistake) say ok yea lets get out we get ready and he asks what store to go too I say blank because the tree we want is there and not sure if well get it but would like to write down costs etc. He flips out . That I just want to spend money...so I say after listening to it for what seems like forever no nevermind...Im not going anywhere because of his attitude. Im not going to go out with him like that and he may need to get sleep before and then ask him if he was planning on getting more to drink if we went out. He said yes and I said thats another reason. Im jot going to listening to the crap and be out with you drinking. Sorry no.
He gets mad. Goes to the room lays down and turns bedroom light off. Yay right?
Idecide to go for a walk thinking hes going to sleep and when i am. I see him walking to the car and drive off.
Few minutes later I get an aray of mean mean text messages.
Just horrible stuff. Im thinking what an idiot....doesn't he know ill leave him or cant he communicate like a civilized person. So I assume hes somewhere drinking and using me as an excuse to do so.
Did I handle this right? Should I not have said anything?
How do you handle situations like this?
I would like to hear from others how it helped them. Thnx

Redheadsusie

I would not have gone with him. I have made the mistake of going out when I knew his attitude was questionable and I regretted it later. It is amazing how they can be nice and then WHAM the jerk comes out. My AH hides from me too - it is sad but comical really- he sees my car pull up and gets in bed or runs out the back. No way to live. Sending you love from Virginia!

thislonelygirl

I agree. Thats why when the signs showed I said no. Why go out and be miserable?
Im just beating myself help because maybe I could have said it better...

thislonelygirl

Get this one of his quaks regarding the tree was well if you buy the tree then im going to buy myself sonething. That may have attributed to loosing my edge more than I should have

I just got a call from him he was calm....(which is different) and said ilk be here looking around call me and let me know if you change your mind.

BoxinRotz

Jim is horrible over the summer months. He loves to ride the bike drunk n try to convince me to go. At first, I didn't know he was drunk the first year we were together. The second year, I was like... wtf is going on. He would take turns that made me feel like he was going to dump us n at stop signs, he would wobble which would make me put my foot down. I started to refuse to go n I love riding but not like that! Then I flattened that guy's tires. *evil laugh* I went in n said, Hey baby... *throws hip to the side* Guess what you have?!!! He's like what? FLAT TIRES BITCH! lmao I told him the first fool who comes over to pump them up is getting a tire iron to the side of the head.

Then if he makes me go the second route, I'll pull the bike into the driveway n douse her in gas on a Saturday afternoon. Why Saturday he asks... it's burn day n the fire dept won't be alarmed. Go ahead... make my day!

As far as money, he let's me swipe as I please as long as there is money n bills are paid. But your husband saying all you want to do is spend money when all he does is want to by more booze... that's bs! Atleast you can use the tree every year! Is he planning on bottling his p¡$$?!

BoxinRotz

Oh n James isn't allowed to go to the store with me.

thislonelygirl

Lmao! The first post last line. What a true funny...boxinrotz.
And yea complete bs which is where my line got drawn and snapped...

Redheadsusie

Oh- The drunken ( didn't know till it was too late) shopping sprees - I remember one lovely Home depot run- we were gutting our house and buying everything for it- he is a contractor and knows his stuff - but while we were out I asked a question about something to do with say the 2 by 4's - just making conversation- you would have thought I called his Mother a street walker - turned into a heated yelling attack on his part at how could I question his knowledge - people were dodging out of the isles - I just took it- which was the only thing I could do as we were in public and I just wanted to get the hell out of there. Oh the memories - makes me warm and tingly - actually it makes me really sad that I stay in such a disfunctional relationship. I am planning though and you should be too!

BoxinRotz

Lmao! I swear they turn into blabbering idiots! How freaking sad!

thislonelygirl

I couldnt tell you how many times I started conversation too or in his head was questioning putting him down making him out to be an idiot etc.
He once told me how come you have to be smarter than me...
I thought to myself ....how come you have to be so stupid. Didnt say it but at that moment ...I sooooo was thinking it

BoxinRotz

It's so funny it's NOT!

SparkleKitty

Well, this sounds like a crummy situation all around but to this I think the answer is no, he probably doesn't know (or more likely, believe) you'll leave him and not eventually come back.

When arguments with XABF would escalate the only option I found myself with was to walk away and disengage completely, even if it meant leaving the house or locking myself (and my dog) in my bedroom. But it took several months of figuring out that not a thing I did or said made a difference when he was up for an argument. He would have it, no matter what I came back with. Arguing was just another stimulant to stave off dealing with himself. By disengaging I pulled the plug on that DOC and he hated it. Ah well.

thislonelygirl

Wellp he told me that some random guy said he knew him from a barvthenight after the election and that ah bought everyone drinks etc. This was the week I was gone. Ah didnt believe the guy but the guy was 100 percent sure it was him....ah tells me I was with him or he was at work. Nope I told him it was you because I remember and know where I was or when you worked.
This is the second one this week where someone told jim something he doesnt remember. In public not just with me. When will he get it .....right now hes in denial and feeling mr awesome lol. Idiot

thislonelygirl

You know sonetimes that works but a few times it hadnt...tried taking a walk or going to bed just to get followed around. I wish I could just go to sleep....on his too many drinks night where he wont sleep. He wont let me ....just talks talks talks

BoxinRotz

You have a James too eh?

He would NOT leave me alone the last night of his 8 day binge unless I slept in our bed with him. I went just to shut him up! I was tired from walking a mountain on my bear hunt!

BoxinRotz

He is sleeping alone right now. Til when... I don't know. That's what he gets for hurting me because I'm a good wife to him! I give him no reason to wander! I clean the house n work! I wash his crusty undies and make him delicious meals daily even if it is squirrel!

BoxinRotz

Wonder if he'd like ground hog instead? *thinks intently*

thislonelygirl

I too had to to shut him up...I even give him massages lol....if I relax him enough hell crash then im like finally!! A break!! Kind of like getting a baby to sleep lol
Frustrating ....I dont climb mountains but pretty tired from a energetic toddler plus the emotional drain alone listening to them makes you want to clock out.

thislonelygirl

Lol my ah would love squirrel. Me....im a no rodent person. No thank you.. lol
They still find ways to sulk....I clean cook laundry ...attantative patient. He works but I found him his job and I have always been understanding to relaxing when hes off and letting him enjoy days off. Him.....he still finds a way to complain.

BoxinRotz

I would so love to use the cast iron skillet to relax him!