Mikah

I'm new here and I'm not sure that i'm doing well. My alchohol consumption along with other things has me concerned. I'm sure it's something that's been posted here a million times before but I just feel so lost.

Dee74

Hi Mikah

You're not alone here - you'll find a ton of people who are or have been concerned about their alcohol intake

good to have you join us

D

Anna

Mikah, we are a family here and we do understand how really hard this is.

courage2

Mikah, I too am at the confused/lost stage. Stick with this forum, there are wonderful voices here who will support you.

Thepatman

Welcome to SR! No you are not alone now. Never need to, we are here to support you new friend.

Mikah

My life has gotten completely out of control lately. I just feel very alone so it's nice hearing your responses. This has been going on for so long now. I try and try and never seem to get there. I always make some excuse to go and party and it's really damaging me. I've become my own worst enemy. I'm generally a positive person but I think I've become dependent on substances. I don't know what to do.

Anna

Mikah, it can be overwhelming to face a problem of addiction. Just don't drink today, get rid of the alcohol in your house, make a plan you can follow. Trust me, the self-loathing that you feel, will go away.

Thepatman

You are brave to admit it's a problem.
The rewards of stopping are as follow:

No inner struggle
Pride, infinite pride
Health
Money saved

Just add to the list, can you? ;-)

Rockdrigo

Hey Mikah! I'm going though a rough phase too, I can only thank God that I found this Website, I'm pretty concerned about how much alcohol I drink, but I'm not feeling alone anymore, as long as I can talk with people who have the same problems

next30

Welcome, sounds just too simple when Anna says just dont drink today but that is where it has to start. Just chatting on here a bit is helpfull because your talking to people who understand.

raja12

I'm new to this site too. It has been helpful,and everyone is supportive. I'm currently starting over,again. I'm really scared ,not of this site,but of the monster called alcohol.

Junebugapril

Hi Mikah, I found this forum a few weeks ago, and have spent hours poring over things I found here. Someone told me I could read the Big Book online, so I started doing that. I have found people here to be helpful, not critical.

I have managed to stay sober for three weeks. I have learned a lot from reading, but also from telling my story here. There are people here that will hold your hand, and others that will kick you in the butt. I personally like the hand holders better, that's what works for me.

If you feel particularly moved by what someone says, send them a private message. It's nice to develop some private relationships here if there is stuff you are not comfortable sharing with everyone.

Glad you found us.
JunebugApril

Mikah

Thanks for all the words of encouragement. Unfortunately, here I am on another Monday morning trying to figure out how it went so wrong so quickly. I'm in a pattern of getting blackout drunk every weekend for two days. My binging has taken on all sorts of different forms but right now has been almost every weekend that I can recall. This last one was particularly difficult and I've done some serious damage to the few important relationships I have. I'm scared I've become a bad person and am constantly feeling guilty and ashamed of how I acted on the weekend. These feelings might subside a bit in a few days then Friday rolls around and bam! Right back into it. I just feel lost.

Citrus

Mikah I have so often felt this way. It's no fun and so very frustrating when you find yourself in a rut and doing it over and over. I have humiliated myself so many times over the phone mostly... When I drink someone really should take my phone away!!! I've gone through the hangover and depression over what I've said or done. So you are not alone! That being said I think we are both on the right track by being here and admitting that we need to change and not stay in the same rut for forever. Good luck to you!

MIRecovery

So what is your plan to end this cycle?

TTBABP

You are definitely not alone Mikah. I got just got through my first weekend in which I was with friends - that I did not drink at all. It was a challenge but I feel so much better for it. It is hard but you can doit. You must make a commitment to it though.

Keep posting - good luck

Mikah

Right now my plan is to talk to a counselor. I'm nervous because I've been through this before. I'm very much an all or nothing type of person and the last time I was sober for more than a few months, I was seeing a counselor. I was telling someone just the other day how much I actually like being sober. I mean during the week I normally am. Then my 'friends' call me to come drink when the weekend rolls around and i turn into a complete disaster.

Delilah1

First, welcome to SR, this is a wonderful site filled with people ready to offer support and advice.

Talking to a counselor sounds like a good start, especially since you had sober time in the past when doing this.

I know it is difficult but you may need to distance yourself from some of your friends for a little while.

Spend some time reading and posting on here, it helps!

ForMyGirls

Sorry for the derail, but could you please provide the link to that?

Good luck Mikah. Finding this site and just knowing there are others out there dealing with the same issues that I have has helped tremendously...

Mikah

It does seem to help knowing that there are others here dealing with a similar situation. I'm nervous about the holidays coming up and the pressure I'm going to feel to drink. Mainly with my brother who is coming home and will want to drink. In regards to my friends, it's been on my mind for a while that there needs to be some real changes. When I explain to one friend in particular, as I seem to do as part of my pattern, that I have sworn off alchohol and that I'm sick of drinking/drugs he'll try and convince me that life is boring without partying. I know in my logical mind this isn't the case and sobriety has so many benefits. My excesses have costed me a lot but I want it to stop so bad before it gets worse. Right now when I envision myself trying to stay sober, it looks like a lot of nights spent in alone (I don't drink alone) being healthy but probably pretty lonely.