First DUI and scared to death
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Join Date: Nov 2012
Posts: 44
First DUI and scared to death
I've been on and off of this website for months now. I knew I had a problem, I tried to "control" it myself. Well, I received my first DUI on Tuesday in a parking lot. I was shopping in a store I don't even know how I got to...I don't even remember being in the store. I am so scared. I feel so much shame and guilt and I can't even begin to try and forgive myself. I'm getting help through out patient rehab and AA.
How does anyone recover after doing something so dumb? My blood alcohol level was two times the legal limit. I could have killed myself or even worse, someone else. The guilt I feel is unbearable...and I deserve it. I hoping forgiveness will come with time.
How does anyone recover after doing something so dumb? My blood alcohol level was two times the legal limit. I could have killed myself or even worse, someone else. The guilt I feel is unbearable...and I deserve it. I hoping forgiveness will come with time.
Powerless over Alcohol
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Trudging the Road to Happy Destiny!
Posts: 4,018
Take a deep breath and try to relax..
The important thing is you didnt hurt anyone. And you already have feeling of wanting to change..
This alcoholic had been given 4 dui's and many many other consquences than that , and I still just didnt want to give it up..
Just stick to the plan and keep going to meetings and take those suggestions and run with them.. And you will be able to look back at this dui as the best thing that ever happened to you..
The important thing is you didnt hurt anyone. And you already have feeling of wanting to change..
This alcoholic had been given 4 dui's and many many other consquences than that , and I still just didnt want to give it up..
Just stick to the plan and keep going to meetings and take those suggestions and run with them.. And you will be able to look back at this dui as the best thing that ever happened to you..
Hi Sunnybird
I think it's great you're moving forward - I hope the shame and guilt you feel right now will start to recede soon as you put things back together
Remember there's always support & understanding here
I think it's great you're moving forward - I hope the shame and guilt you feel right now will start to recede soon as you put things back together
Remember there's always support & understanding here
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: east coast
Posts: 1,711
Right there with you sunnybird...I had my first about a month ago. That along with the full experience of my last relapse have made me work on my recovery harder than ever. I don't want to be that person (drunk) anymore that does things I am ashamed of. I have been feeling extreme remorse and guilt but my sponser had great words of wisdom that have really been helping me to work on forgiving myself. She said that every day I live sober, honest and working on my recovery bring me farther and farther away from the person I was that night when I got the DUI and ended up a hospital. We can't go back. Be grateful you didn't hurt anyone or yourself. It could have been SO MUCH WORSE for both of us. If we stay sober one day at a time things can only get better (hugs)
When I got my DUI 5 years ago I LOST IT. I felt like the scum of the earth. Then I got into recovery and started doing my community service and alcohol classes and I realized that, yes, I may have made a huge mistake but I wasn't alone and I wasnt a monster because of drinking and driving. I was sick. That DUI probably saved my life as it led to me finally quitting alcohol for good. I learned from it. That's life. You'll be ok but take this seriously and remember that it's the first drink that could lead you back here; and they are so much harder with multiple offenders. I was in a multiple offender class due to my BAL being three times the legal limit so I know. I'll never drink and drive again God willing.
I got my first DUI in October and can certainly relate to the shame, guilt, humiliation, etc. I'd even been sober for two years prior - thought I had myself figured out .. and that I was now safe to have a little "drinkipoo". Ha - Wrong. In no time, I was back to two years ago, and worse. Drinking in secret, round the clock, and driving (not my first time drinking and driving) ... and this time I got caught (first time for that). I'm 47, female, newly divorced, mom of two girls, 23 and 19, who don't drink. I was stopped on my street on my way home from work, in my nice work clothes, mid-day .. stumbling, and I was cuffed and had a bac of .32 (4x legal) - The neighbors must have had a field day. What a sight ... Humiliation is not even a good enough word for how I felt.
But ... my life has changed so much for the better even in this short time. After the initial turmoil, I found it helpful to look at all the good things. What used to be a secret (drinking) was now wide out in the open - and I am humbled and grateful for the support I'm getting in moving forward. AA has been great, as has my family.
Thankfully no one was injured. I got a lawyer, got into court early, pled guilty, got a reduced fine, signed up for the DWI course (mandatory) and am now an expert on the local bus routes (saving gas $ along with booze $) .. Besides AA, I am also seeing a counsellor. Life is looking more promising now than ever ... On some level, I'm glad it happened.
You will be fine too, once you get a plan in place on where to go from here. It can be very good - you just have to see the good things! Best of luck to you!
But ... my life has changed so much for the better even in this short time. After the initial turmoil, I found it helpful to look at all the good things. What used to be a secret (drinking) was now wide out in the open - and I am humbled and grateful for the support I'm getting in moving forward. AA has been great, as has my family.
Thankfully no one was injured. I got a lawyer, got into court early, pled guilty, got a reduced fine, signed up for the DWI course (mandatory) and am now an expert on the local bus routes (saving gas $ along with booze $) .. Besides AA, I am also seeing a counsellor. Life is looking more promising now than ever ... On some level, I'm glad it happened.
You will be fine too, once you get a plan in place on where to go from here. It can be very good - you just have to see the good things! Best of luck to you!
I'm glad you're taking steps to help yourself with your recovery. It would probably be a good idea to talk to a lawyer, if you haven't already. Know for sure that you can move forward from this.
Why do people say "my first dui" like there's going to be more of them to come?
It sounds like a horrible experience and I was insanely lucky to have avoided that. Hang in there,and realize you never have to go through that again.
It sounds like a horrible experience and I was insanely lucky to have avoided that. Hang in there,and realize you never have to go through that again.
"this too shall pass"
i got a dui and am still battling thru financial problems because of it. get a lawyer, if you haven't already and hopefully they can limit the damage done to your finances...believe me high risk insurance is not a joke.
take it seriously... i did and still do. i won't never forget it...but am working on making sure that the lesson wasn't lost. thankfully i didn't hurt anyone. it is humiliating... so i guess you (and i) have to think of why we are doing such things if when we are "found out" that it is so humiliating..? just food for thought.
one thing that helped me get thru the nights alone right after when i was going out of head with worry of what was going to happen and the shame of being in that position was writing in a journal. that may help you some. i hope rehab and aa are a comfort to you. hang in there
i got a dui and am still battling thru financial problems because of it. get a lawyer, if you haven't already and hopefully they can limit the damage done to your finances...believe me high risk insurance is not a joke.
take it seriously... i did and still do. i won't never forget it...but am working on making sure that the lesson wasn't lost. thankfully i didn't hurt anyone. it is humiliating... so i guess you (and i) have to think of why we are doing such things if when we are "found out" that it is so humiliating..? just food for thought.
one thing that helped me get thru the nights alone right after when i was going out of head with worry of what was going to happen and the shame of being in that position was writing in a journal. that may help you some. i hope rehab and aa are a comfort to you. hang in there
My uncle is a recovering alcoholic and when he was drinking got a series of DUIs. I don't know how many, but he spent awhile in jail and did a work release program, eventually. If you think one DUI is bad...
Powerless over Alcohol
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Trudging the Road to Happy Destiny!
Posts: 4,018
Why do people say "my first dui" like there's going to be more of them to come?
Member
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 1,410
My best advise I can get you is to get a lawyer. A DUI can get you a good plead for you're DUI. Try to quit alcohol the best you can because you're healthy is at high risk.
Definitely. Especially if they know your car. At which point it's better to quit drinking altogether, than to have to play cat and mouse with the police all the time.
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