Your thoughts on culture?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Newfoundland, Canada
Posts: 19
Your thoughts on culture?
Hi SR members,
I'm a 45 year old male who has been drinking heavy since my early teens. I have managed to get a masters degree and full time employment during this time, father a child and carry on a successful marriage. In my last 10 to 12 years I have been chemically dependant on alcohol with the exception of 35 days of sobrietry I managed in 2003. Besides that I may have had a day or two here or there. I live in a culture where drinking is the norm. My family and friends all enjoy getting together and getting half shot, however I can't seem to let go. I go home and keep drinking to the point where I feel like crap the next day. I have always seemed to manage the next day but have been caught in a few situations where I sweat profusely or shake incontrollably. Also, after a heavy weekend I get depressed on Monday morning to the point where I know I have to stop. However, when that feeling passes I head to the liquor cabinet without a second thought to the anguish I suffered only hours before.
Quitting drinking scares the bejeebers out of me as it is the thing I enjoy most in life. I'm a decent athlete and work out all the time (I actually use the gym to relieve the early morning blahs). I fear for my long term health, both physical and mental, and wonder what some SR members may have to offer in advice.
I love the way alcohol makes me feel when I am drinking but hate the the way it makes me feel when I am not.
Just so you know, I have been reading posts here for some time and certainly appreciate the support and encouragement that SR members offer to anyone who has the courage to post. This is my first. I hope I can contribute more.
I am also new to forums so please let me know if I broken any rules or not used proper etiquette.
T
I'm a 45 year old male who has been drinking heavy since my early teens. I have managed to get a masters degree and full time employment during this time, father a child and carry on a successful marriage. In my last 10 to 12 years I have been chemically dependant on alcohol with the exception of 35 days of sobrietry I managed in 2003. Besides that I may have had a day or two here or there. I live in a culture where drinking is the norm. My family and friends all enjoy getting together and getting half shot, however I can't seem to let go. I go home and keep drinking to the point where I feel like crap the next day. I have always seemed to manage the next day but have been caught in a few situations where I sweat profusely or shake incontrollably. Also, after a heavy weekend I get depressed on Monday morning to the point where I know I have to stop. However, when that feeling passes I head to the liquor cabinet without a second thought to the anguish I suffered only hours before.
Quitting drinking scares the bejeebers out of me as it is the thing I enjoy most in life. I'm a decent athlete and work out all the time (I actually use the gym to relieve the early morning blahs). I fear for my long term health, both physical and mental, and wonder what some SR members may have to offer in advice.
I love the way alcohol makes me feel when I am drinking but hate the the way it makes me feel when I am not.
Just so you know, I have been reading posts here for some time and certainly appreciate the support and encouragement that SR members offer to anyone who has the courage to post. This is my first. I hope I can contribute more.
I am also new to forums so please let me know if I broken any rules or not used proper etiquette.
T
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,493
Welcome!
I'm so glad you posted.
Yes, many of us have a love-hate relationship with alcohol. I certainly did and was scared to death of the idea of never drinking again. Alcohol turned me into a person that I hated. If you want to stop drinking, you will find lots of support here. As you said, you've been reading the forums, so you know that many of us recover.
I'm so glad you posted.
Yes, many of us have a love-hate relationship with alcohol. I certainly did and was scared to death of the idea of never drinking again. Alcohol turned me into a person that I hated. If you want to stop drinking, you will find lots of support here. As you said, you've been reading the forums, so you know that many of us recover.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,416
Hi and welcome
I'm not sure where you're from, but I'm from a big drinking culture too - I'm Australian.
I think there comes a point when you realise what you're doing is hurting yourself, you need to change, and what others do really is immaterial.
I know it probably sounds like a big thing to walk apart from the herd, but it's really not that big of a deal.
You won't be alone - there's lots of people who do it, even in big drinking cultures.
I've never regretted changing my life - there's a heck of a lot more out there to enjoy that our drinking minds will admit I think
D
I'm not sure where you're from, but I'm from a big drinking culture too - I'm Australian.
I think there comes a point when you realise what you're doing is hurting yourself, you need to change, and what others do really is immaterial.
I know it probably sounds like a big thing to walk apart from the herd, but it's really not that big of a deal.
You won't be alone - there's lots of people who do it, even in big drinking cultures.
I've never regretted changing my life - there's a heck of a lot more out there to enjoy that our drinking minds will admit I think
D
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Central New Jersey, USA
Posts: 1,345
Unfortunately - I think the culture of big drinking is becoming pervasive everywhere. I cannot turn on the TV or walk down the street without being met by some reference to or image of alcohol. When my adult friends go out now the first thing discussed it what kind of shots will we do that night.
It makes life hard for problem drinkers like us but as they say - nobody ever said life would be easy. I think part of what I and matbe you need to do is remember that regardless of what is happening around us drinking makes things even harder and worse for us.
I hope you hang around and find your answer.
It makes life hard for problem drinkers like us but as they say - nobody ever said life would be easy. I think part of what I and matbe you need to do is remember that regardless of what is happening around us drinking makes things even harder and worse for us.
I hope you hang around and find your answer.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Newfoundland, Canada
Posts: 19
Thank you TTBABP, Anna, Lenina, dee74, and Sugarbear for responding to my post.
Also to those who may respond as I'm typing this post (I type slow).
I really appreciate your support. Coming from a heavy drinking family it is difficult to broach the subject about giving up the booze. You are almost looked upon as a pariah if you don't indulge. Well maybe not that bad, but it doesn't go unnoticed. I have to admit that I'm on day zero, which means I haven't abstained yet, so I don't know if I should be posting as this is a recovery site. All the same I appreciate the resonses.
By the way, I'm from Newfoundland, it's on the west coast of Canada.
Also to those who may respond as I'm typing this post (I type slow).
I really appreciate your support. Coming from a heavy drinking family it is difficult to broach the subject about giving up the booze. You are almost looked upon as a pariah if you don't indulge. Well maybe not that bad, but it doesn't go unnoticed. I have to admit that I'm on day zero, which means I haven't abstained yet, so I don't know if I should be posting as this is a recovery site. All the same I appreciate the resonses.
By the way, I'm from Newfoundland, it's on the west coast of Canada.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Newfoundland, Canada
Posts: 19
To be honest, I didn't really expect a lot of response to my post, but I'm glad that some members found the time to respond.
I have used alcohol as an outlet for a considerable time. I am timid at times but booze can make me the life of the party, but that's not me. I have no problem socializing when I'm sober but when I'm drunk I do things that are hilarious that make people laugh but I feel it's not really me.
I have used alcohol as an outlet for a considerable time. I am timid at times but booze can make me the life of the party, but that's not me. I have no problem socializing when I'm sober but when I'm drunk I do things that are hilarious that make people laugh but I feel it's not really me.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Southern Ontario, Canada
Posts: 1,618
Hello fellow Canadian!
So glad you joined us. This site is great...please keep posting, no matter what. I have received a tremendous amount of support here that I found no where else.
Hope to hear how you fare, up or down. Either way I think this place will be of assistance.
So glad you joined us. This site is great...please keep posting, no matter what. I have received a tremendous amount of support here that I found no where else.
Hope to hear how you fare, up or down. Either way I think this place will be of assistance.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,557
Welcome to the family 50mission. It's great to have you join us.
I was so afraid of letting go of alcohol. I had enjoyed it for many years. It was once my friend, and helped me with shyness. For the last 10 yrs. of my drinking career it was hell. I went from just weekend drinking to daily drinking. I was completely dependent on it. It ran my life and turned me into someone I didn't even recognize. Unfortunately, I failed to do what you're doing. I ignored the signs of trouble and kept insisting I could control my intake. I had a complete meltdown and my life turned into a nightmare. I wish I'd taken the steps you are taking now - so much misery could have been avoided. Glad you are with us - I hope you find SR as helpful and encouraging as I did.
I was so afraid of letting go of alcohol. I had enjoyed it for many years. It was once my friend, and helped me with shyness. For the last 10 yrs. of my drinking career it was hell. I went from just weekend drinking to daily drinking. I was completely dependent on it. It ran my life and turned me into someone I didn't even recognize. Unfortunately, I failed to do what you're doing. I ignored the signs of trouble and kept insisting I could control my intake. I had a complete meltdown and my life turned into a nightmare. I wish I'd taken the steps you are taking now - so much misery could have been avoided. Glad you are with us - I hope you find SR as helpful and encouraging as I did.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Newfoundland, Canada
Posts: 19
Thank you to Windancer, TTBBAB, Heuyn, and all others who responded. You are so supportive. I would like to let you know a little more about myself.
I love alcohol. That being said, I know I should not partake in it. I need to find some way to not drink it. My daughter is ten and my wife is very understanding and they are very supportive. My daughter thinks rum is daddy Pepsi which works for the time being but doesn't help the long term problem.
I love alcohol. That being said, I know I should not partake in it. I need to find some way to not drink it. My daughter is ten and my wife is very understanding and they are very supportive. My daughter thinks rum is daddy Pepsi which works for the time being but doesn't help the long term problem.
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Cape Cod, Massachusetts
Posts: 367
I have a friend who is a master plumber who always says "water seeks it's own level".
True for me. When I was drinking it's not like I sought out sober people to hang out with. You will find that in truth the majority of people could take or leave alcohol, plain statistics show this.
True for me. When I was drinking it's not like I sought out sober people to hang out with. You will find that in truth the majority of people could take or leave alcohol, plain statistics show this.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 5,937
Welcome, 50mission! I feel like your post could have been written by me. You are were I was a couple months ago. To all outward appearances I was a normal successful guy, and very few people in my social circle would say I had a problem. But I knew eventually I'd hit a wall where my body couldn't take my drinking anymore.
The good news is that you can make a change. My first glimpse of hope & freedom from booze was AVRT (google it). Whatever method works for you, just know that you can succeed in getting the monkey off your back.
The good news is that you can make a change. My first glimpse of hope & freedom from booze was AVRT (google it). Whatever method works for you, just know that you can succeed in getting the monkey off your back.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Melbourne, Australia
Posts: 26
I am almost through day 1 which I never thought I would do as I love nothing more than pottering around at home with a wine in my hand,,,, trouble is nothing gets done, I can't go anywhere, I hide my problem & have no life except for alcohol & coming up with excuses...looking forward to hearing about your day 1 
and hopefully seeing you around as I plan to stay here & stay sober
and hopefully seeing you around as I plan to stay here & stay sober
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Newfoundland, Canada
Posts: 19
Thanks to all who replied to my post. I appreciate it. I woulld like tomorrow to be day 1 for me but I have had a lot of day 1's but far fewer day 2's. I will try though.
I never thought giving up something that is bad for you could be so hard.
T
I never thought giving up something that is bad for you could be so hard.
T
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