when the alcoholic...
box of chocolates
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Texas
Posts: 1,013
when the alcoholic...
Cries and says he is sorry for being the way he is....today my ah informed me that although he is still drinking to catch that high he walked right on over to our neighbors the one from my last post informed the husband & wife that he is an alcoholic so he will not be hanging out with him anymore because he looses control with his drinking while doing so and he needs to get help and is planning on going to outpatient but that him and the husband can still hang out he just wont be drinking with him"
the wife of course agreed and applauded him but the husband whom is the felon and addict himself said to my ah "thats stupid. i dont think rehab will help you...i just dont see it. sorry but you should be able to drink. i mean if you want to drink you drink so i just dont understand that" and then told my ah "i just ...i need to go inside so thats whatever" and the conversation was cut short.
ah then explained to me that not only does he want to get sober but that he must deal with the reasons as to why he drinks "chasing that high" as younger he was an ex meth user and says that he believes he may have traded one for the other and so he feels that he needs to sober himself but his mind as well and that using is causing him pain and suffering...that drinking too much...drinking too little, not drinking etc right now is torture. theres no right! and so he is tired of it.
ps: i just wanted to add that my ah said to me that after how the neighbor reacted to him getting sober he sees that he cant hang out with him at all...that he is not going to accept or change his way of thinking and behaviour and it is too much of an enabling situation to be in for not only now but for ealry on sobreity.
the wife of course agreed and applauded him but the husband whom is the felon and addict himself said to my ah "thats stupid. i dont think rehab will help you...i just dont see it. sorry but you should be able to drink. i mean if you want to drink you drink so i just dont understand that" and then told my ah "i just ...i need to go inside so thats whatever" and the conversation was cut short.
ah then explained to me that not only does he want to get sober but that he must deal with the reasons as to why he drinks "chasing that high" as younger he was an ex meth user and says that he believes he may have traded one for the other and so he feels that he needs to sober himself but his mind as well and that using is causing him pain and suffering...that drinking too much...drinking too little, not drinking etc right now is torture. theres no right! and so he is tired of it.
ps: i just wanted to add that my ah said to me that after how the neighbor reacted to him getting sober he sees that he cant hang out with him at all...that he is not going to accept or change his way of thinking and behaviour and it is too much of an enabling situation to be in for not only now but for ealry on sobreity.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 654
I take everything an A says with a grain of salt.
It is encouraging that he recognizing these things, but as a recovered heroin addict myself, I know first hand that A's words don't mean much until they act upon them. It isn't hard to say the right things or make the ones you love think that you have finally seen the light. I hope that this is a real light buld moment for him
Time will tell how serious he is about taking the steps to sober up and uncover the reasons why he chases the high and puts that above everything else in his life. Sounds like right now would be a really good time for him to go see a counselor.
Through it all, no matter what happens, keep putting yourself and your children first. If he is serious, then great! If he isn't, well that is on him.
It is encouraging that he recognizing these things, but as a recovered heroin addict myself, I know first hand that A's words don't mean much until they act upon them. It isn't hard to say the right things or make the ones you love think that you have finally seen the light. I hope that this is a real light buld moment for him
Time will tell how serious he is about taking the steps to sober up and uncover the reasons why he chases the high and puts that above everything else in his life. Sounds like right now would be a really good time for him to go see a counselor.
Through it all, no matter what happens, keep putting yourself and your children first. If he is serious, then great! If he isn't, well that is on him.
box of chocolates
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Texas
Posts: 1,013
i agree maylie....i am happy he has done and said what he did and it is a step regardless but i am still skeptical as we all are when weve dealt with an alcoholic personally. you just never know and so i am keeping that little voice in mind together with ....its not here yet.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 1,423
I really hope he takes the next steps.
At least he is talking about it & acknowledging it which is great.
His actions will speak louder than words & you must keep yourself & your daughter safe in the meantime.
Give him support but detach as much as you can too.
Hugs:ghug3
At least he is talking about it & acknowledging it which is great.
His actions will speak louder than words & you must keep yourself & your daughter safe in the meantime.
Give him support but detach as much as you can too.
Hugs:ghug3
I'm no angel!
Join Date: May 2005
Location: tampa, fl
Posts: 6,728
So, he walked over there with a drink in his hand? Honestly, to me, it was a show put on for you, to keep you hanging on and forgiving him. All the addicts I have known, should have used their acting talents on broadway. Hope that I am wrong, only time will tell.
Good Luck, hope it all works out as you would like it to.
Good Luck, hope it all works out as you would like it to.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Real World
Posts: 729
As others mentioned its a great sign but now it gets hard. I know many advise just watching to see what's next. Pushing or suggesting seems to universally fail...
But since he brought it up I'd probably be impatient to find out if he was quacking or if he means it. I'd be saying I was so happy to hear it - lets get you packed and get on over to rehab now while your head is clear and you are ready for help....
Might not be the best way but patience is one virtue that is a pain in my ass due to attention defi... Hey look SHINY!
Hang in there, pulling for you.
But since he brought it up I'd probably be impatient to find out if he was quacking or if he means it. I'd be saying I was so happy to hear it - lets get you packed and get on over to rehab now while your head is clear and you are ready for help....
Might not be the best way but patience is one virtue that is a pain in my ass due to attention defi... Hey look SHINY!
Hang in there, pulling for you.
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