NEED ADVICE! Should I have my husband committed?
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Iowa
Posts: 2
NEED ADVICE! Should I have my husband committed?
Hi, everyone. I'm new to the forum. Found it through a google search on how to/when to have my husband committed. I am 28 years old, my husband is 32, and we have a 5 year old little girl. We live in Iowa. I have been with him a little over 9 years - since I was 19.
A little history - his father committed suicide when he was a teenager, his brother is supposedly bipolar (no one in the family knows for sure), and his brother and he have been abusing drugs their entire lives. Mostly pot, but they've tried almost everything except maybe heroin. He also went through something after our daughter was born - he was having headaches all the time and was really irritable and the doctor prescribed Elavil - which didn't get rid of his problem NOW so he stopped taking it. He has a history of not taking meds when they don't have an immediate effect.
My history, which I think is significant as it shows that I understand what it's like to have mental health issues - there's a history of scizophrenia in my family (my aunt has it and several family members who have now passed on are believed to have had it - my family has been in studies about the disease), when I was 19 (before I met my husband) I was raped in my dorm while in college and went through a very dark time when I almost hurt myself, I've also been diagnosed with adult ADHD (had it as a child too), OCD, and general anxiety disorder. I also used to cut myself when I was a teenager - not anymore. My father was also very abusive to my mom, my sister, and me. I've tried MANY medications. I have also done drugs in my past, though not to the extent my husband has. I've never been addicted to drugs - except maybe my prescribed xanax as it's the only thing I've tried that allows me to sleep at night without racing thoughts and panic attacks.
That being said, on the evening of December 2nd my husband informed me that he feels like his life is blackness, he hates everything except me and our daughter, he blames me that we bought the house and for having too many pets, that he never feels truly happy, and that last week he even contemplated driving off the road and wrecking his truck "to end it all" so he wouldn't hurt me or our daughter anymore. He's never physically abusive. Not even really mentally abusive except for his mood swings. He recently transferred to a different location at work because his old boss was causing him lots of anxiety and giving him panic attacks. After transferring, he was MUCH happier and I thought everything had taken a turn for the better. Now, he's worse than I've ever seen him. I told him he needed help and that I'd set up the appointments for him and go with him. He agreed. He swore he'd never hurt himself or anyone else. I was up until 2am sunday night (monday morning, actually) and I had to get up at 4:30 to be to work by 6.
All day at work, all I did was cry. I'm an RN at a physical therapy/long term care facility and I NEVER cry at work. That's one thing I'm good at - compartmentalizing. Anyway, I spoke to a social worker at work who told me to get help ASAP. I spoke to my boss, who was supportive but had no idea what advice to offer - she's an RN as well. I set up the appointments - one for therapy and one to see an actual MD for meds. But my mind was still working over time and the anxiety was really kicking in. I ended up calling my husband's boss and leaving him a message at work on the answering machine. My husband works in an agricultural facility and has access to medications and dangerous equipment. I was afraid he'd hurt himself on purpose and I wanted his boss to at least be aware of what's going on. Well, my husband happened to be alone in the office for some reason when I called and he heard and erased the message. He then called me on my work number and cursed me out - he was afraid his boss would fire him if he knew because someone who might hurt themself might hurt the animals in the facility. I've never heard him so angry. He was supposed to pick up our daughter from daycare after work, but he was so angry that I didn't trust him. What if he hurt her? What if he disappeared with her? So I left work early and picked her up myself. I called a friend who just went through a very similar situation and she truly believes my husband is doing drugs again - particularly speed, which was one of his favorites in the past. Here is why:
1. He used to be a lazy person at home. He'd get off work, come home, flop on the couch and not move until dinner. Now, he's always on the go, always has to have something to DO, and only sits still when he's eating. He's always loved TV and he rarely watches it anymore.
2. He's secluded himself. He's always been VERY social. I'm the one who isn't social. He spends most of his time in the basement and only comes up for meals - if that. When he's home alone with our daughter, he leaves her upstairs with the TV on cartoons and then he sits in the basement. He says he has the basement set up almost exactly like his old room from when he was in high school.
3. He has mood swings. He doesn't become violent but he gets angry over the stupidest things. At my mom's house, he once flipped out on me in front of everyone because I said something wrong. He doesn't yell at our daughter as much though, except when she's naughty.
4. He's fidgety. He can't sit still. When we were talking at dinner Monday night, he was constantly doing things with his fingers. He also wouldn't look me in the eye. It was very...unsettling to watch. I've seen my aunt and psych patients act like this, but never my husband.
5. He's paranoid. He constantly makes comments about my family members not liking him. Before he transferred, he thought his supervisor was trying to get him fired. He thought his co-workers didn't like him because he wasn't "like them". But he's always kinda been paranoid about how others see him - though never this bad.
6. He used to enjoy spending time with me. I recently graduated nursing school in May and he hated that we couldn't spend a lot of time together because of school. Up until a few weeks ago, he loved spending time with me. Now, he spends all his time in the basement and won't spend time with me hardly at all. I hate the basement - I have a phobia of basements - and it's the one place in the house I avoid at all costs. So, to me, the fact that he spends so much time there means he doesn't want to spend time with me and that he's avoiding me.
7. A couple months ago, he went to the emergency room at 4:30 am. He was driving home from a friend's house (their car broke down and he was giving them a ride home) and he had to pull over on the interstate because he began vomitting and shaking all over. The tests came back positive for methamphetamines. He told me and the MD that he smoked a joint with his friend and his friend happens to sell meth and weed. The meth must've gotten mixed in my accident. I accepted his explanation because I was in shock and denial.
8. He refuses to take a drug test. He says "if you don't believe me, then there's no point". I've considered buying one of those hair drug tests - called hair confirm - and cutting the hair while he's sleeping. Just for my own piece of mind. But if he ever found out I seriously believe he'd leave me. He's always smoked pot since I've known him. Since our daughter was born, he's not had pot in the house until recently. Within the last year, he's been smoking more and more except for the last month. He hasn't smoked much at all in the last month. Not sure what this means, just that it's significant. Never heard of anyone going through depression/withdrawls from pot. I never really cared that he smoked pot. It sucked that he slept so much and was so lazy and ate ALL the junk food in the house but he never drove while high and he was never crazy or anything.
Today, I searched the basement before I went to work. I couldn't find the switch for the lamp, so I had to do it by flashlight. It's seriously a teenage/college kid's pot den down there. He's got 2 or 3 recliners, several tables, and lots of adult entertainment DVDs and magazines - which is no big deal, I've never been the type of wife who's cared about their husband looking at that stuff. There's junk on every surface. Pens, pieces of paper, magnets, trash...everywhere. He has little boxes full of just junk. I found the typical pot stuff - glass pipes, papers, etc. No evidence of speed use though. He's told me that in the past, he preferred to smoke speed. There's was no speed pipe or crack pipe that I could find. I couldn't find any actual drugs either - but he's always been good about really hiding that stuff. He rarely puts his pipes away though so that's what I was really looking for. However, just because I didn't find evidence doesn't mean he isn't doing it. He does sleep at night, so at least he's not staying up for 3 days in a row tweaking. He does look like he's lost weight - not a huge amount but maybe 20 lbs. He claims he's only lost 10 lbs in the last 6 months.
My friend truly believes he's back on speed (like her husband was) and thinks I should have him committed if he won't go to detox/rehab voluntarily. I already know how to have him committed in the state of Iowa, so I'm not asking how to go about doing it. And he can be involuntarily committed if he's a threat to himself or others - he already made the comment about driving off the road and I have several people who are willing to be sworn witnesses who have seen his behavior. What I'm asking is - do you think he's on speed or meth based on the behaviors listed and the fact that he had a blood test positive for methamphetamines? Should I have him committed due to the fact that he's thinking about suicide and that we have a young daughter in the house?
Sorry for the long post! I just need more opinions. I've never really spent much time around people on drugs like this. As a nurse, I've worked with alcoholics who are detoxing but never drug users. Thanks!
A little history - his father committed suicide when he was a teenager, his brother is supposedly bipolar (no one in the family knows for sure), and his brother and he have been abusing drugs their entire lives. Mostly pot, but they've tried almost everything except maybe heroin. He also went through something after our daughter was born - he was having headaches all the time and was really irritable and the doctor prescribed Elavil - which didn't get rid of his problem NOW so he stopped taking it. He has a history of not taking meds when they don't have an immediate effect.
My history, which I think is significant as it shows that I understand what it's like to have mental health issues - there's a history of scizophrenia in my family (my aunt has it and several family members who have now passed on are believed to have had it - my family has been in studies about the disease), when I was 19 (before I met my husband) I was raped in my dorm while in college and went through a very dark time when I almost hurt myself, I've also been diagnosed with adult ADHD (had it as a child too), OCD, and general anxiety disorder. I also used to cut myself when I was a teenager - not anymore. My father was also very abusive to my mom, my sister, and me. I've tried MANY medications. I have also done drugs in my past, though not to the extent my husband has. I've never been addicted to drugs - except maybe my prescribed xanax as it's the only thing I've tried that allows me to sleep at night without racing thoughts and panic attacks.
That being said, on the evening of December 2nd my husband informed me that he feels like his life is blackness, he hates everything except me and our daughter, he blames me that we bought the house and for having too many pets, that he never feels truly happy, and that last week he even contemplated driving off the road and wrecking his truck "to end it all" so he wouldn't hurt me or our daughter anymore. He's never physically abusive. Not even really mentally abusive except for his mood swings. He recently transferred to a different location at work because his old boss was causing him lots of anxiety and giving him panic attacks. After transferring, he was MUCH happier and I thought everything had taken a turn for the better. Now, he's worse than I've ever seen him. I told him he needed help and that I'd set up the appointments for him and go with him. He agreed. He swore he'd never hurt himself or anyone else. I was up until 2am sunday night (monday morning, actually) and I had to get up at 4:30 to be to work by 6.
All day at work, all I did was cry. I'm an RN at a physical therapy/long term care facility and I NEVER cry at work. That's one thing I'm good at - compartmentalizing. Anyway, I spoke to a social worker at work who told me to get help ASAP. I spoke to my boss, who was supportive but had no idea what advice to offer - she's an RN as well. I set up the appointments - one for therapy and one to see an actual MD for meds. But my mind was still working over time and the anxiety was really kicking in. I ended up calling my husband's boss and leaving him a message at work on the answering machine. My husband works in an agricultural facility and has access to medications and dangerous equipment. I was afraid he'd hurt himself on purpose and I wanted his boss to at least be aware of what's going on. Well, my husband happened to be alone in the office for some reason when I called and he heard and erased the message. He then called me on my work number and cursed me out - he was afraid his boss would fire him if he knew because someone who might hurt themself might hurt the animals in the facility. I've never heard him so angry. He was supposed to pick up our daughter from daycare after work, but he was so angry that I didn't trust him. What if he hurt her? What if he disappeared with her? So I left work early and picked her up myself. I called a friend who just went through a very similar situation and she truly believes my husband is doing drugs again - particularly speed, which was one of his favorites in the past. Here is why:
1. He used to be a lazy person at home. He'd get off work, come home, flop on the couch and not move until dinner. Now, he's always on the go, always has to have something to DO, and only sits still when he's eating. He's always loved TV and he rarely watches it anymore.
2. He's secluded himself. He's always been VERY social. I'm the one who isn't social. He spends most of his time in the basement and only comes up for meals - if that. When he's home alone with our daughter, he leaves her upstairs with the TV on cartoons and then he sits in the basement. He says he has the basement set up almost exactly like his old room from when he was in high school.
3. He has mood swings. He doesn't become violent but he gets angry over the stupidest things. At my mom's house, he once flipped out on me in front of everyone because I said something wrong. He doesn't yell at our daughter as much though, except when she's naughty.
4. He's fidgety. He can't sit still. When we were talking at dinner Monday night, he was constantly doing things with his fingers. He also wouldn't look me in the eye. It was very...unsettling to watch. I've seen my aunt and psych patients act like this, but never my husband.
5. He's paranoid. He constantly makes comments about my family members not liking him. Before he transferred, he thought his supervisor was trying to get him fired. He thought his co-workers didn't like him because he wasn't "like them". But he's always kinda been paranoid about how others see him - though never this bad.
6. He used to enjoy spending time with me. I recently graduated nursing school in May and he hated that we couldn't spend a lot of time together because of school. Up until a few weeks ago, he loved spending time with me. Now, he spends all his time in the basement and won't spend time with me hardly at all. I hate the basement - I have a phobia of basements - and it's the one place in the house I avoid at all costs. So, to me, the fact that he spends so much time there means he doesn't want to spend time with me and that he's avoiding me.
7. A couple months ago, he went to the emergency room at 4:30 am. He was driving home from a friend's house (their car broke down and he was giving them a ride home) and he had to pull over on the interstate because he began vomitting and shaking all over. The tests came back positive for methamphetamines. He told me and the MD that he smoked a joint with his friend and his friend happens to sell meth and weed. The meth must've gotten mixed in my accident. I accepted his explanation because I was in shock and denial.
8. He refuses to take a drug test. He says "if you don't believe me, then there's no point". I've considered buying one of those hair drug tests - called hair confirm - and cutting the hair while he's sleeping. Just for my own piece of mind. But if he ever found out I seriously believe he'd leave me. He's always smoked pot since I've known him. Since our daughter was born, he's not had pot in the house until recently. Within the last year, he's been smoking more and more except for the last month. He hasn't smoked much at all in the last month. Not sure what this means, just that it's significant. Never heard of anyone going through depression/withdrawls from pot. I never really cared that he smoked pot. It sucked that he slept so much and was so lazy and ate ALL the junk food in the house but he never drove while high and he was never crazy or anything.
Today, I searched the basement before I went to work. I couldn't find the switch for the lamp, so I had to do it by flashlight. It's seriously a teenage/college kid's pot den down there. He's got 2 or 3 recliners, several tables, and lots of adult entertainment DVDs and magazines - which is no big deal, I've never been the type of wife who's cared about their husband looking at that stuff. There's junk on every surface. Pens, pieces of paper, magnets, trash...everywhere. He has little boxes full of just junk. I found the typical pot stuff - glass pipes, papers, etc. No evidence of speed use though. He's told me that in the past, he preferred to smoke speed. There's was no speed pipe or crack pipe that I could find. I couldn't find any actual drugs either - but he's always been good about really hiding that stuff. He rarely puts his pipes away though so that's what I was really looking for. However, just because I didn't find evidence doesn't mean he isn't doing it. He does sleep at night, so at least he's not staying up for 3 days in a row tweaking. He does look like he's lost weight - not a huge amount but maybe 20 lbs. He claims he's only lost 10 lbs in the last 6 months.
My friend truly believes he's back on speed (like her husband was) and thinks I should have him committed if he won't go to detox/rehab voluntarily. I already know how to have him committed in the state of Iowa, so I'm not asking how to go about doing it. And he can be involuntarily committed if he's a threat to himself or others - he already made the comment about driving off the road and I have several people who are willing to be sworn witnesses who have seen his behavior. What I'm asking is - do you think he's on speed or meth based on the behaviors listed and the fact that he had a blood test positive for methamphetamines? Should I have him committed due to the fact that he's thinking about suicide and that we have a young daughter in the house?
Sorry for the long post! I just need more opinions. I've never really spent much time around people on drugs like this. As a nurse, I've worked with alcoholics who are detoxing but never drug users. Thanks!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 462
im sorry for your pain. the only offer of advise i can offer is that to look after yourself and your daughter. whatever your husband choses to do with his life is HIS choice. having him committed would unlikely be able to stop him from doing anything. if HE wants to take drugs HE will. if HE wants to take his life, then HE will. you are not that powerful enough to stop him.
you didnt cause it
you cant control it
you are unable to cure it.
take care of yourself and your daughter. and hope you find some answers in here. goodluck.
you didnt cause it
you cant control it
you are unable to cure it.
take care of yourself and your daughter. and hope you find some answers in here. goodluck.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Iowa
Posts: 2
Thanks for the reply...after doing mpre research online, I'm almost positive he's on speed - he just hasn't binged yet, because he's smart enough to know I'm smart enough to figure it out.
Also - I was kidding about being addicted to xanax myself. It won't let me edit the message to add it in. I only use it the night before I go to work so I can actually sleep. I rarely use it during the day unless I'm headed toward full-on panic mode. And I never take more than prescribed. Though I will admit that I have experimented with mixing xanax and alcohol - which was a disaster and I pulled myself out of it, luckily. Anyway, that's my piece.
Any more advice, please? I need all the help I can get!
Also - I was kidding about being addicted to xanax myself. It won't let me edit the message to add it in. I only use it the night before I go to work so I can actually sleep. I rarely use it during the day unless I'm headed toward full-on panic mode. And I never take more than prescribed. Though I will admit that I have experimented with mixing xanax and alcohol - which was a disaster and I pulled myself out of it, luckily. Anyway, that's my piece.
Any more advice, please? I need all the help I can get!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Anytown
Posts: 59
Hi chinacat and welcome. I'm fairly new here on SR, but I can tell you in the short time I've been visiting this forum I've been able to calm down and put my head back on straight. Lots of wisdom in these pages.
You've expressed a lot of fear in your post. What might or is going to happen. Try to stay in the day - or even in the moment, if it is easier. What is happening right at that moment and stay focused on that. When you find your mind racing, replace those thoughts with something else that will bring you peace. For me, I visited a beautiful beach once and when I find myself getting anxious with all the what ifs, I close my eyes and visualize that beach. It really does work to help you relax.
With the mood swings, your husband may very well be bi-polar. Would explain the highs and lows in his personality. Or it could be drugs causing the change in his personality. Either way, he needs to seek outside help and only he can do that. We can want it for them, but they have to want it too.
Try not to play detective - it is crazy making behaviour for us. Do something nice with your daughter instead.
I know in my own situation, I let crazy into my home often. And my A isn't even here now. I'm slowly realizing much of the chaos I'm feeling is being created by me and I'm trying to change that.
Things will get better when we change the thing we can - ourselves!
Take care!
You've expressed a lot of fear in your post. What might or is going to happen. Try to stay in the day - or even in the moment, if it is easier. What is happening right at that moment and stay focused on that. When you find your mind racing, replace those thoughts with something else that will bring you peace. For me, I visited a beautiful beach once and when I find myself getting anxious with all the what ifs, I close my eyes and visualize that beach. It really does work to help you relax.
With the mood swings, your husband may very well be bi-polar. Would explain the highs and lows in his personality. Or it could be drugs causing the change in his personality. Either way, he needs to seek outside help and only he can do that. We can want it for them, but they have to want it too.
Try not to play detective - it is crazy making behaviour for us. Do something nice with your daughter instead.
I know in my own situation, I let crazy into my home often. And my A isn't even here now. I'm slowly realizing much of the chaos I'm feeling is being created by me and I'm trying to change that.
Things will get better when we change the thing we can - ourselves!
Take care!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: The Jungle
Posts: 5,435
Welcome to SR.......this is a great forum.
I think the test that was performed on your husband tells the story. Trust your gut. So let's say he is using meth. What are you going to do with that information? Unless your state is different, committing a person involuntarily is a very short term arrangement (in our state they keep them for 72 hours). What will you do when they let him back out?
You don't have to do anything today. But you can begin to learn about addiction and codependence. A great book to start with is "Codependent No More" by Melody Beattie. Another book that I read recently which is a great book is titled "Addictive Thinking: Understanding Self Deception" by Abraham Twerski.
Unfortunately, we often spend a whole lot of time and effort trying to control or fix something that not within the scope of our power and that will make us crazy quicker than anything.
Breathe. I hope you stick around. Read. Learn and understand the disease of addiction. But most importantly, take care of you and that little one.
gentle hugs
ke
I think the test that was performed on your husband tells the story. Trust your gut. So let's say he is using meth. What are you going to do with that information? Unless your state is different, committing a person involuntarily is a very short term arrangement (in our state they keep them for 72 hours). What will you do when they let him back out?
You don't have to do anything today. But you can begin to learn about addiction and codependence. A great book to start with is "Codependent No More" by Melody Beattie. Another book that I read recently which is a great book is titled "Addictive Thinking: Understanding Self Deception" by Abraham Twerski.
Unfortunately, we often spend a whole lot of time and effort trying to control or fix something that not within the scope of our power and that will make us crazy quicker than anything.
Breathe. I hope you stick around. Read. Learn and understand the disease of addiction. But most importantly, take care of you and that little one.
gentle hugs
ke
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Posts: 28
You cannot evaluate a persons mental health or even speculate until they are off the drugs. From my experience with my own husband, he's definitely on meth. BE CAREFUL AND KEEP YOUR DAUGHTER AWAY FROM HIM. Just trust me on that one. People don't think right on that stuff. As a sidenote, if CPS came into your home for any reason and saw your basement, you'd lose your daughter in an instant and you would be charged as well as your husband. Not just the drugs, but the porn laying out is a no-no anywhere in a home with children.
I am sorry for what you're going through, and I doubt that committing him would do any good. I went that path with my husband as well. Two days out he had the worst relapse you can imagine. Since then I had to kick him out of the house an we are now separated.
Stay strong and do what you know is right for you and your daughter. He is clearly not thinking of you guys doing what he is doing.
I am sorry for what you're going through, and I doubt that committing him would do any good. I went that path with my husband as well. Two days out he had the worst relapse you can imagine. Since then I had to kick him out of the house an we are now separated.
Stay strong and do what you know is right for you and your daughter. He is clearly not thinking of you guys doing what he is doing.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 864
It doesn’t matter what he is using, how he is using, just the fact that he is using. And yes it sure as hell looks like he is using.
Commit him, why…he is acting like a drug user, everything you wrote is drugs. Sure it might be mental illness but it is drug induced or not. Until he stops using and everything and some time goes by then and only then can he be properly diagnosis for a mental illness. It is a what came first thing … the drugs, the behaviors you notice. His father committing suicide, was he sick or an addict…His brother using, well is he bipolar or an addict, or both….You will drive yourself insane trying to figure this out. And it isn’t yours to figure out to begin with.
Highs and lows….My husband road that train for a long time. I swore he was bipolar because my best friend is and he had no content, no middle. He was either up and on, on, on or down and unable to function. Once he found some recovery the extreme highs and lows started to disappear.
Using my husband was on all the time, up moving, had to be doing something and always under my feet helping ….drove me friggin nuts…oh wait my husband is a herion addict, think he would nod…nope no nodding, well unless he shot up on top of his sub dose, then he would nod… Mostly he was maintaining and once he used he felt great and would jump into life. If he didn’t use then he would be suicidal, regretful, depressed, unmotivated…
Methamphetamine didn’t have me running, and having to do something. Actually it left me focused and clear and able to think. I describe it as unable to move, yet unable to stop.
While drugs may have some suppose too’s….they will effect the user as well based on the user.
From here, having anyone smoke methamphetamine in your home, hell smoking any drug with a child around is dangerous and unhealthy for everyone around. You are going to have to figure out how to keep your child and yourself safe. That should be your first priority. Also you need to find some support and help for you. And know that he is capable of finding his own support and of getting himself help and will when he is ready. Know that no decision you make should have him figured into it. You need to do what you feel you need to for you and your child. And that those decisions will not make him well or worse. There shouldn’t be any motive in any decision you make either about this showing him or helping him to see that he needs help. Know that he can do that all on his own, he also will have no issue blaming you, if you take the blame. You don’t have to take the blame or be it … It is to easy for addicts in denial to use others as an excuse and most do know somewhere inside they are their problem. Those who watch became their own problem as well. Addicts aren’t special in any way, they don’t hold families hostage, the family allows themselves to be held hostage. They don’t bring anyone down with them, everyone around goes down willingly, for their own sick reasons.
So what can you do for you …. Not for him. Because that really should be where you focus now. You can’t save him, but you sure can save yourself.
Commit him, why…he is acting like a drug user, everything you wrote is drugs. Sure it might be mental illness but it is drug induced or not. Until he stops using and everything and some time goes by then and only then can he be properly diagnosis for a mental illness. It is a what came first thing … the drugs, the behaviors you notice. His father committing suicide, was he sick or an addict…His brother using, well is he bipolar or an addict, or both….You will drive yourself insane trying to figure this out. And it isn’t yours to figure out to begin with.
Highs and lows….My husband road that train for a long time. I swore he was bipolar because my best friend is and he had no content, no middle. He was either up and on, on, on or down and unable to function. Once he found some recovery the extreme highs and lows started to disappear.
Using my husband was on all the time, up moving, had to be doing something and always under my feet helping ….drove me friggin nuts…oh wait my husband is a herion addict, think he would nod…nope no nodding, well unless he shot up on top of his sub dose, then he would nod… Mostly he was maintaining and once he used he felt great and would jump into life. If he didn’t use then he would be suicidal, regretful, depressed, unmotivated…
Methamphetamine didn’t have me running, and having to do something. Actually it left me focused and clear and able to think. I describe it as unable to move, yet unable to stop.
While drugs may have some suppose too’s….they will effect the user as well based on the user.
From here, having anyone smoke methamphetamine in your home, hell smoking any drug with a child around is dangerous and unhealthy for everyone around. You are going to have to figure out how to keep your child and yourself safe. That should be your first priority. Also you need to find some support and help for you. And know that he is capable of finding his own support and of getting himself help and will when he is ready. Know that no decision you make should have him figured into it. You need to do what you feel you need to for you and your child. And that those decisions will not make him well or worse. There shouldn’t be any motive in any decision you make either about this showing him or helping him to see that he needs help. Know that he can do that all on his own, he also will have no issue blaming you, if you take the blame. You don’t have to take the blame or be it … It is to easy for addicts in denial to use others as an excuse and most do know somewhere inside they are their problem. Those who watch became their own problem as well. Addicts aren’t special in any way, they don’t hold families hostage, the family allows themselves to be held hostage. They don’t bring anyone down with them, everyone around goes down willingly, for their own sick reasons.
So what can you do for you …. Not for him. Because that really should be where you focus now. You can’t save him, but you sure can save yourself.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Chicago area
Posts: 4,269
Attempting to have someone committed against their will is a time consuming process with no guarantee of outcome. Odds favor the respondent.
Minicipal police have special protocols for handling Meth addicts because they are prone to spontaneous violence. And here you and your 5 year old daughter are living with him. And you seem to fear he's going to leave you.
Forget about warning his boss. Forget about having him committed. It's time to take the focus off him and protect yourself and child.
Is there anything remotely acceptable about having an active Meth addict living under the same roof as your child?
Minicipal police have special protocols for handling Meth addicts because they are prone to spontaneous violence. And here you and your 5 year old daughter are living with him. And you seem to fear he's going to leave you.
Forget about warning his boss. Forget about having him committed. It's time to take the focus off him and protect yourself and child.
Is there anything remotely acceptable about having an active Meth addict living under the same roof as your child?
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Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Chicago area
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Originally Posted by chinacat84 
Thanks for the reply...after doing mpre research online, I'm almost positive he's on speed - he just hasn't binged yet, because he's smart enough to know I'm smart enough to figure it out.
Addiction is progressive. In time, he will binge with the best of them. It's not going to matter that you know.
Also - I was kidding about being addicted to xanax myself. It won't let me edit the message to add it in. I only use it the night before I go to work so I can actually sleep. I rarely use it during the day unless I'm headed toward full-on panic mode. And I never take more than prescribed. Though I will admit that I have experimented with mixing xanax and alcohol - which was a disaster and I pulled myself out of it, luckily. Anyway, that's my piece.
Any more advice, please? I need all the help I can get!
Addiction is progressive. In time, he will binge with the best of them. It's not going to matter that you know.
Also - I was kidding about being addicted to xanax myself. It won't let me edit the message to add it in. I only use it the night before I go to work so I can actually sleep. I rarely use it during the day unless I'm headed toward full-on panic mode. And I never take more than prescribed. Though I will admit that I have experimented with mixing xanax and alcohol - which was a disaster and I pulled myself out of it, luckily. Anyway, that's my piece.
Any more advice, please? I need all the help I can get!
Living with a Meth addict is beyond anxiety provoking. What can you do to take back control of your life and protect your child?
A therapist can help you sort out the abuse you have suffered in the past. Please do not hesitate to seek help.
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