Pregnant and Addicted
for myself
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 24
Pregnant and Addicted
A short glimpse of my life and the situation I am in...
I'm a 19 yr old first time mom-to-be. My baby is due some time in March, 2013.
I've battled alcohol and drug addiction since I was a 13 years old. I had my dabble with booze, but the problems I face are to do with drugs.
I could pass up a bottle of booze for a drug any time.
I am pregnant and addicted to percocet. My perc addiction started 3 years ago, going from occasional use of once a month to daily use of 5 a day. I found out I was pregnant when I was 6 weeks, and quit for about a week. Then after doing plenty of research I decided it wouldn't hurt the baby to have just ONE percocet. Well that one percocet turned into one every day and sooner than I knew it I was back to taking almost 5 a day again.
My addiction to these pills is so bad that I cannot quit on my own even for my baby. I have guilt and shame in my heart as each day passes.
My boyfriend does not know that I have been taking percocets during my pregnancy. As far as he is concerned, I quit the day I found out I was pregnant with our baby.
He too is an alcoholic and drug addict. He likes percocets, and gets them every now and then. When he does I usually steal a couple from him. I swear up and down that I didn't touch them, leaving him to think he just miscounted or got drunk and ate one without remembering.
I have no source for percocets other than from my own mother and aunty, and have been stealing from them for a while. They have caught on, all 3 of us talked and agreed I get counceling. They now make their perscription very difficult for me to access, but usually I find away. It results in heartache and tears but I'll do just about anything to get my fix.
It is pathetic. I am being enslaved by a pill. I am risking my health, and the baby's health all for a high. I love my baby to death, and I am going to give her the best life I can give her.
The only way I can give my little girl (its a girl, btw) a good future and life is if I become sober myself. I cannot let my life revolve around addiction and drugs anymore -- it now has to revolve around my new princess.
I am so desperately wanting to quit and be free of this horrible addiction. I am going to see a councelor in a week or so...
I know the right thing to do is to tell my boyfriend about my addiction -- but I am scared he will leave me for it. I am scared he will think I am a disgusting person with no heart... that I don't love my child enough since I didn't quit for her... I am scared he will never love me the same if he does stay with me.. and I know he will never trust me again.
On the other hand, I am praying he will forgive me, and be supportive of my decision to be clean and help me stay sober... but its hard, because he is an alcoholic and drug addict himself and having drugs in the house is harder for me to quit.
Right now I am only 2 days clean, I want a percocet SO bad... its all I think about... its all I crave... I am not happy without them... I am depressed and lethargic... I need my fix... but I need to be sober...
I am in such a hard place right now.. I want to quit, be clean and just never tell my boyfriend of what I did when I was pregnant.... but it is his child too, and he has every right to know..
I'm a 19 yr old first time mom-to-be. My baby is due some time in March, 2013.
I've battled alcohol and drug addiction since I was a 13 years old. I had my dabble with booze, but the problems I face are to do with drugs.
I could pass up a bottle of booze for a drug any time.
I am pregnant and addicted to percocet. My perc addiction started 3 years ago, going from occasional use of once a month to daily use of 5 a day. I found out I was pregnant when I was 6 weeks, and quit for about a week. Then after doing plenty of research I decided it wouldn't hurt the baby to have just ONE percocet. Well that one percocet turned into one every day and sooner than I knew it I was back to taking almost 5 a day again.
My addiction to these pills is so bad that I cannot quit on my own even for my baby. I have guilt and shame in my heart as each day passes.
My boyfriend does not know that I have been taking percocets during my pregnancy. As far as he is concerned, I quit the day I found out I was pregnant with our baby.
He too is an alcoholic and drug addict. He likes percocets, and gets them every now and then. When he does I usually steal a couple from him. I swear up and down that I didn't touch them, leaving him to think he just miscounted or got drunk and ate one without remembering.
I have no source for percocets other than from my own mother and aunty, and have been stealing from them for a while. They have caught on, all 3 of us talked and agreed I get counceling. They now make their perscription very difficult for me to access, but usually I find away. It results in heartache and tears but I'll do just about anything to get my fix.
It is pathetic. I am being enslaved by a pill. I am risking my health, and the baby's health all for a high. I love my baby to death, and I am going to give her the best life I can give her.
The only way I can give my little girl (its a girl, btw) a good future and life is if I become sober myself. I cannot let my life revolve around addiction and drugs anymore -- it now has to revolve around my new princess.
I am so desperately wanting to quit and be free of this horrible addiction. I am going to see a councelor in a week or so...
I know the right thing to do is to tell my boyfriend about my addiction -- but I am scared he will leave me for it. I am scared he will think I am a disgusting person with no heart... that I don't love my child enough since I didn't quit for her... I am scared he will never love me the same if he does stay with me.. and I know he will never trust me again.
On the other hand, I am praying he will forgive me, and be supportive of my decision to be clean and help me stay sober... but its hard, because he is an alcoholic and drug addict himself and having drugs in the house is harder for me to quit.
Right now I am only 2 days clean, I want a percocet SO bad... its all I think about... its all I crave... I am not happy without them... I am depressed and lethargic... I need my fix... but I need to be sober...
I am in such a hard place right now.. I want to quit, be clean and just never tell my boyfriend of what I did when I was pregnant.... but it is his child too, and he has every right to know..
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
((flying)) - Welcome to SR! I know of many people here who were able to quit their addictions when they were pregnant, only to return to the drugs when the baby was born.
I was an RN, before MY addiction ended that career, and often worked in the neonatal ICU. I highly suggest you tell your doctor about your addiction. If he/she is a good doctor, they will not judge you. They will help you work through this.
As far as your bf? I can't really say. I had to leave my bf, as he wanted to keep using and I wanted to choose recovery.
Opiate withdrawal is hard, in the best of times, but it doesn't last forever. Please be honest with your doctor and take care of YOU and your precious little girl. She doesn't have a choice.
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
I was an RN, before MY addiction ended that career, and often worked in the neonatal ICU. I highly suggest you tell your doctor about your addiction. If he/she is a good doctor, they will not judge you. They will help you work through this.
As far as your bf? I can't really say. I had to leave my bf, as he wanted to keep using and I wanted to choose recovery.
Opiate withdrawal is hard, in the best of times, but it doesn't last forever. Please be honest with your doctor and take care of YOU and your precious little girl. She doesn't have a choice.
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
for myself
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 24
Will start by talking to a concelor prior to my doctor. Although I do think its a good idea... I just have to build the courage to do so. Just like building the courage to tell my partner. Thanks for the welcome! If he decides to not quit, and continue using, I will have to see how I can handle that. After all, if I can be sober and be around drugs without cravings it wouldn't be so bad. His addiction isn't ruining our home so until it becomes a problem that way I could probably live with it.
SR Fan
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
Welcome flyingvacant -
Admitting we have a problem (even to ourselves) takes courage. Good for you for posting today
- it's the first step in getting better!
I think counseling is a great idea, but also I think getting medical advice should be a priority.
I'm so glad you're here and want to make positive changes for yourself and your baby. :ghug3
Admitting we have a problem (even to ourselves) takes courage. Good for you for posting today
- it's the first step in getting better! I think counseling is a great idea, but also I think getting medical advice should be a priority.
I'm so glad you're here and want to make positive changes for yourself and your baby. :ghug3
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,504
I'm glad you're going to be getting counselling.
I also strongly suggest talking to your dr. Getting medical help for yourself right now to protect your baby is far more important than talking to your boyfriend, in my opinion. Your dr will be able to give you medical advice and hopefully help you to ease your mind.
I also strongly suggest talking to your dr. Getting medical help for yourself right now to protect your baby is far more important than talking to your boyfriend, in my opinion. Your dr will be able to give you medical advice and hopefully help you to ease your mind.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2009
Posts: 545
You need to talk to your doctor right away. Percocet is a powerful opiate and your baby is going to be born addicted and will have to go cold turkey right away. Think of how that is going to be for her. Additionally, you could have your baby taken from you because you are abusing prescription drugs without having a prescription.
PLEASE talk to your doctor immediately. Do not wait. You have to stop now and give your baby a chance to get off this drug before she is born. Let the doctor decide how to do this that won't harm her.
PLEASE talk to your doctor immediately. Do not wait. You have to stop now and give your baby a chance to get off this drug before she is born. Let the doctor decide how to do this that won't harm her.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: London
Posts: 122
Well done for two days, you have made a terrible mistake trying one. If you have given in already and taken a few today, stop, see your doctor and be honest tomorrow morning as an emergency.
If your daughter was born, you would rightfully go to prison for a very long time, if you gave her these drugs every day. Because she is not born yet, and has to take these drugs via your blood stream, society deems it just wrong and selfish. Toughen up. Fight the withdrawal pain and start being responsible to yourself and your daughter.
Read AVRT. It IS a selfish choice you make. You LOVE to get high for the selfish pleasure of it, and sometimes to avoid pain. You must stop. You wanted to hear that so act on it.
If your daughter was born, you would rightfully go to prison for a very long time, if you gave her these drugs every day. Because she is not born yet, and has to take these drugs via your blood stream, society deems it just wrong and selfish. Toughen up. Fight the withdrawal pain and start being responsible to yourself and your daughter.
Read AVRT. It IS a selfish choice you make. You LOVE to get high for the selfish pleasure of it, and sometimes to avoid pain. You must stop. You wanted to hear that so act on it.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 654
Please consult your doctor. You are putting your baby at risk. If you don't quit your baby will be taken away at the hospital (they test babies for drugs as soon as they are born and if she comes up positive for opiates child protective services will be brought in immediately).
If you have been taking opiates regularly for months now while you were pregnant your baby is addicted and at birth will be w/ding. Look up information on what happens to newborns that are born w/ding. I won't go into specifics beause there is no need for that but I am pretty sure if you read up on it you would have a whole new outlook on things.
Your doctor will tell you the safest way to get off of these pills. Pregnancy complicates things and if you throw yourself into full w/ds you could put alot of strain on the baby. It is very important that you go to a doctor right away and get a plan on what is safest for you and for your baby.
I don't mean for everything I have said to sound harsh. I am saying all this with love and trying to just give you information for you to consider because I know you love your baby and want what is best for her. I know when I was trying to kick heroin I needed someone to be blunt with me in order for me to see the truth.
hugs
Maylie
If you have been taking opiates regularly for months now while you were pregnant your baby is addicted and at birth will be w/ding. Look up information on what happens to newborns that are born w/ding. I won't go into specifics beause there is no need for that but I am pretty sure if you read up on it you would have a whole new outlook on things.
Your doctor will tell you the safest way to get off of these pills. Pregnancy complicates things and if you throw yourself into full w/ds you could put alot of strain on the baby. It is very important that you go to a doctor right away and get a plan on what is safest for you and for your baby.
I don't mean for everything I have said to sound harsh. I am saying all this with love and trying to just give you information for you to consider because I know you love your baby and want what is best for her. I know when I was trying to kick heroin I needed someone to be blunt with me in order for me to see the truth.
hugs
Maylie
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: California
Posts: 13,044
I agree with all of the above posts a out speaking to your doctor and finding out the safest way to help your baby. I stopped drinking during all of my pregnancies, and started again after. I have decided to stop for good because my kids deserve better, and need me sober and present.
You wouldn't be on SR if you didn't want to stop, you can do this for you and your baby girl. Good luck with your appointment, I look forward to hearing how you are doing.
You wouldn't be on SR if you didn't want to stop, you can do this for you and your baby girl. Good luck with your appointment, I look forward to hearing how you are doing.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: USA
Posts: 189
Hello and welcome. I have not posted in a long time and have not announced this on the board, but I am pregnant and due in March as well. I drank, that was my thing but I smoke as well.
I understand what you are going through, I have not drank a bit since I found out I was pregnant but I am still struggling with smoking... I have cut down to about 3-5 a day and still feel the horrible guilt. Husband hates me for it and tells me that if anything happens to the baby that he is done with me... but this is my struggle to deal with. (He drinks and smokes and smokes pot).
You need to talk to your doctor as soon as possible. A midwife or OB is there to help you through these things and SHOULD NOT be judgemental. Your addiction includes serious withdrawl that should be monitored for you and the baby. As someone stated above, CPS can get involved and your baby will be tested, please seek help now to avoid that happening. Best of luck to you and I wish you a healthy rest of your pregnancy! (Already almost there!!!)
I understand what you are going through, I have not drank a bit since I found out I was pregnant but I am still struggling with smoking... I have cut down to about 3-5 a day and still feel the horrible guilt. Husband hates me for it and tells me that if anything happens to the baby that he is done with me... but this is my struggle to deal with. (He drinks and smokes and smokes pot).
You need to talk to your doctor as soon as possible. A midwife or OB is there to help you through these things and SHOULD NOT be judgemental. Your addiction includes serious withdrawl that should be monitored for you and the baby. As someone stated above, CPS can get involved and your baby will be tested, please seek help now to avoid that happening. Best of luck to you and I wish you a healthy rest of your pregnancy! (Already almost there!!!)
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