Melanomagirl

First of all, I love this forum!
I don't know if it's my AV or what but I keep thinking I don't have that big of a problem. I haven't had a drink for 11 days. It's been a challenge but nothing like some people experience. I use to only drink 2 glasses of wine- a bottle max. I never drank in the morning. I always stopped before being really drunk. I didn't have any withdrawals. Is my issue more of a bad habit vs an addiction? Can you be an alcoholic without being drunk or binge drinking? I can't tell if I'm rationalizing my problem or making it a bigger problem than it was.
I guess I'm the one that has to decide but I'd welcome any opinions

Imabuleva

If you're counting your days since your last drink, you probably like alcohol a little too much. An alcoholic? I don't know. But I would look at the fact you are counting as an eye opener. From my experience, people that aren't "problem drinkers" don't count the time since their last drink.

Impurrfect

((Melanomagirl)) - Welcome to SR! None of us can tell you if you really have a problem, but the fact that you're trying to find out...well, it shows that YOU are concerned.

Regardless of whether you're an alcoholic, on the path to becoming one, or just a "heavy drinker", I'm quite sure you will find support here.

Hugs and prayers,

Amy

GypsyHeart

i agree with the others... if you are thinking/worried then you should look into it (and yourself). SR definitely is a wonderful place - also a wealth of information. you should dig around on different threads and read... i think you will find a lot of guidance in past posts and also posting or going in the chatroom here.
oh and......

rainyengland

Hi- id be a little concerned as that was way I started and it leads to dark places- your addressing issue now so some part of you believes that there is a issue and that is a good thing!

Good luck! :-)

Junebugapril

Hi - My first post here was the same as yours. I asked if I was really an alcoholic or not because I haven't gotten arrested, haven't driven drunk, and only drank a bottle of wine a night.

You know what? I found out it doesn't matter what I am. I knew in my heart I had a problem with drinking too much for me. And I needed to stop drinking. So I did. It doesn't matter what my label is.

In fact, I don't like the word alcoholic. So when I go into an AA meeting, I say "I have a drinking problem", not, "I'm an alcoholic". Semantics. Who cares?

renaldo

Hi Melanomagirl,

You've landed in the right place. The finger jabbing accusations are at a bare minimum here (relatively speaking) because we have all been through one thing or another. By posting the first time you are examining your behavior. Keep posting and we'll keep listening.

In reading the responses to your post, I see only love and concern and no criticism. If you've come here, alcohol has become a concern in your life. I wish all the best for you.

IndaMiricale

I think your right where you belong here. And sober..

bloss

[QUOTE
I guess I'm the one that has to decide but I'd welcome any opinions[/QUOTE]

IMO: Being honest with myself was the first step for me. It's not necessarily the amount one drinks or the frequency, it's the impact the alcohol has on ones life, health and relationships.

hypochondriac

Well done on 11 days Melanomagirl!

The scary thing is when you see people with liver damage/multiple dui's posting what you've just posted...

I think our AV will always try and tell us that it wasn't that bad.

I have certainly had that, but I always 'knew' I had a problem with alcohol, I may not have accepted it but I knew I didn't drink like other people. Even before I had any negative consequences I knew it was a problem. But instead of just acting on what I knew I just spent the next decade comparing myself to other people and thinking 'I'm not that bad'. I had the misfortune to meet a really bad alcoholic years ago who kept me drinking until I was well on my way there, for that very reason, 'I wasn't that bad', yet.

I'm a bit of a bugger for minimising my drinking problem too, but I had a glimpse of the path I was on. It doesn't matter how far along it you are just that you get off it at some point, hopefully sooner rather than later.

You're in the right place x

MIRecovery

Your line, "It's been a challenge." Would raise all sorts of red flags. People without a problem do not have this challenge. The problem with alcoholism is that it is progressive. HONESTLY look back at your history and if over your drinking career your consumption is going up then I would be worried.

Your mind is essientially saying, "When my life is a train wreck then I will quit."

TTBABP

I think if you have a concern its probably a problem. For years before I really admitted the problem I had "concerns" I ignored the concerns and things only got worse.

Melanomagirl

Thanks everyone! I know it's a problem...I think the absurd thing is I sometimes think I'll let it get worse, then deal with it. What an idiot! I think about wine all the time..even more since I'm quitting! I feel like a baby wanting to throw a fit bc I can't have any. Obviously I'm addicted on some level! Dang it! Thanks for the encouragement!

Junebugapril

Melli, I think of wine more now that I stopped drinking, than before. On Day 19 here, and I have to be honest with you - most days I don't think of it much, but some days, it's all I think about, and "who would know if I just had a tiny glass?" Sometimes I downright obsess about it.

But in general, each day the cravings get easier. And because it gets easier and less often, when I DO get a craving, it surprises me, and comes out of the blue, and is very persistent. But it doesn't last that long. I distract myself with "If you want a drink later you can have one."

phoebe64

What cinched it for me was when I did get a health problem, from having too much. After some time, and a few good check-ups, I ended up drinking again. The doctor approved occasional glass of wine fairly quickly turned into 2 or 3, and weekend binges with the whole bottle. Not crazy, but normal people do not often polish off the bottle when they open it. And normal people just stop having it if they have a good reason not ot have it.

I have a friend who is not a drinker. She takes a medication which recommends no alcohol with it. Just an antidepressant and I know many of us drank on the same pill. I have read it. To her, it is nothing. She will say, "Sure, I would like a glass of wine once in awhile, but I cannot drink with my medicine." Never thinks about it again.

That is what separates me from the ordinary drinker/non-problem drinker. She used to drink occasionally before taking that med.

The other cincher for me. I would tell myself, I am only having 1-2 glasses, yet would generally go get at least a half glass more, if not a whole glass more than that plan. Always had to drink more than my plan.

Not sure "regular people" have to plan their drinking like that either. Unless they are dieting and counting calories.

It is about the fixation on it, whether I drink or not.

artsoul

Like rochele said, it was the fixation that showed me I had a problem. It's tempting to think that it will be easier to quit on some future date, but what I found is that it only gets harder and harder to stop.

It's not easy, I know. Your AV will try every trick in the book to make drinking sound like a good idea, but each time you don't act on it, it will lose some power over you. I thought about drinking 24/7 when I first got sober - it really feels good when you don't have that voice bugging you all the time.