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Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Perth NY
Posts: 3
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Hi,I have been reading the forums for a year or so without posting, hoping I would find someone having the the same difficulties as myself, but no luck, so here goes. am in my 50's been married to alcohlic for 19 years. My husband drinks at the expense of everything, sometimes he lies about some times not. He doesn't work, he sits and watches tv all day only getting up to go to town to buy more booze, our home is falling apart around us,when I tell him something needs fixing his answer is" do you know how much work that is?' and it doesn't get done, I have seasonal job, so I don't have enough funds to hire someone, his money is deposited on a card, that is only his.
He recently got diagnosted diabetic, he always has a foul odor about him even after bathing, his face is a veiny mess and has had a hacking cough for months and just in the past 2 weeks he's been having trouble and pain when voiding. He won't go to a doctor because he blames all his aches & pains on the last doctor he went to, yes everything is someone elses fault.He's always on porn sites and is registered on dating sites, when confronted, his reply was, he was just looking
& you need to register to enter site . There has been no love between us for years but I am not in my home state and don't have the means to leave, we
live as roommates nothing more. WhatI need to vent about and get advice about is (gross) my husband urinates in our bathroom sink, he has been for years, when I caught him at it, he said he paid for the sink so he can **** in it. I use the kitchen sink for all the things you'd need a bathroom sink for, I 've had to reletives so that they don't use the sink. I even tried to take the sink right out of the bathroom. Since he found out that I know what he's been doing n the sink, he hasn't tried to hide it or clean it, & I refuse to, when someone has to use the bathroom I lie and say the toilet doesn't work. As you can imagine the bathroom sink ia a disgusting mess and he still uses it to brush his teeth. Has anyone else run into this disgusting habit with an alcohlic spouse? Sorry this is long and rambling.
He recently got diagnosted diabetic, he always has a foul odor about him even after bathing, his face is a veiny mess and has had a hacking cough for months and just in the past 2 weeks he's been having trouble and pain when voiding. He won't go to a doctor because he blames all his aches & pains on the last doctor he went to, yes everything is someone elses fault.He's always on porn sites and is registered on dating sites, when confronted, his reply was, he was just looking
& you need to register to enter site . There has been no love between us for years but I am not in my home state and don't have the means to leave, we
live as roommates nothing more. WhatI need to vent about and get advice about is (gross) my husband urinates in our bathroom sink, he has been for years, when I caught him at it, he said he paid for the sink so he can **** in it. I use the kitchen sink for all the things you'd need a bathroom sink for, I 've had to reletives so that they don't use the sink. I even tried to take the sink right out of the bathroom. Since he found out that I know what he's been doing n the sink, he hasn't tried to hide it or clean it, & I refuse to, when someone has to use the bathroom I lie and say the toilet doesn't work. As you can imagine the bathroom sink ia a disgusting mess and he still uses it to brush his teeth. Has anyone else run into this disgusting habit with an alcohlic spouse? Sorry this is long and rambling.
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Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: uk
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oh you poor lovey,, im so sorry you are in this position,, im not but im just sending you some love and hugs xxx
hope you can get some good advice from someone here hunny,, i feel for you.
sorry no good for you,, just wanna send a hug xx
lv cleo xxx
hope you can get some good advice from someone here hunny,, i feel for you.
sorry no good for you,, just wanna send a hug xx
lv cleo xxx
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Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Florida
Posts: 649
Wow Nappy - that really hits home and believe it or not I actually had the same experience (kinda). Years ago when I got out of jail (on the bracelet) I was still hooked up with this daily Deadbeat. I was being monitored, as well as no desire to drink back then living with this drunk. One day I come down to the kitchen and see him standing in front of the KITCHEN sink doing the appropriate thing one would do in a toilet. I about flipped in hysterics.
The drinking never subsided with him and again, he'd spend all the money we had on beer even though I asked him to get me some coffee one time and he acknowledged. He comes back home while I'm peering out the window I see a 4 pk of beer and dogfood and NO coffee. I waited until he got into the house, went downstairs and asked about my coffee. He said, "Oh, I forgot!" Wrong answer, Jack! I then open the refrigerator, pull out the four pack and one by one launched them across the room. Again, I totally flipped out and things almost got physical (again).
Eventually I got so sick and tired of this deadbeat I had to put an end to it. He was continuously driving drunk and on top of that had warrants. It's a cold, cruel thing to do but I had him set up to get pulled over for DUI.
He ended up in jail, I stayed at the happy household ALONE then planned my escape. Just prior to him getting out of jail I was all Lovey Dovey wishing him to come home soon when in fact I would be long gone in another state after cleaning out the house. Naturally, I held off the landlord with the story that Mr Looser will be out of jail soon and will get the rent caught up. Wrong! I skipped town, left bills unpaid but went on to a happier lifestyle. Never heard from him since.
Sorry for my rambling but there's always a solution and you do NOT have to put up with that crap. He will never change and if you are just roommates (and married?) then it's time to call it quits one way or another.
I can't offer you any solution but only to share my experience.
I wish you all the luck in the world and hope you can find some resolution.
The drinking never subsided with him and again, he'd spend all the money we had on beer even though I asked him to get me some coffee one time and he acknowledged. He comes back home while I'm peering out the window I see a 4 pk of beer and dogfood and NO coffee. I waited until he got into the house, went downstairs and asked about my coffee. He said, "Oh, I forgot!" Wrong answer, Jack! I then open the refrigerator, pull out the four pack and one by one launched them across the room. Again, I totally flipped out and things almost got physical (again).
Eventually I got so sick and tired of this deadbeat I had to put an end to it. He was continuously driving drunk and on top of that had warrants. It's a cold, cruel thing to do but I had him set up to get pulled over for DUI.
He ended up in jail, I stayed at the happy household ALONE then planned my escape. Just prior to him getting out of jail I was all Lovey Dovey wishing him to come home soon when in fact I would be long gone in another state after cleaning out the house. Naturally, I held off the landlord with the story that Mr Looser will be out of jail soon and will get the rent caught up. Wrong! I skipped town, left bills unpaid but went on to a happier lifestyle. Never heard from him since.
Sorry for my rambling but there's always a solution and you do NOT have to put up with that crap. He will never change and if you are just roommates (and married?) then it's time to call it quits one way or another.
I can't offer you any solution but only to share my experience.
I wish you all the luck in the world and hope you can find some resolution.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Perth NY
Posts: 3
At some point
At some point I know I will leave, that I have no doubt about, its the when I am unsure and how. Our house is paid off and I'll be damned if I'm going to walk away with nothing. He already told me he'd never leave the house, which is fine as long as I get half the value of it which he can't afford. I really don't have any answers for myself, but I do pray, and God is very familar with my situation, he hears about it enough! And I have faith that I will find away, but its hard living with this feeling of resentment and bitterness
I feel towards him.
I feel towards him.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Perth NY
Posts: 3
Thank you for your replys, Cat1961 I give you alot of credit for getting out.
if I ever threw my husbands booze across the room, I dread to think what would happen, but he has never been violent before, but that might be pushing it!
if I ever threw my husbands booze across the room, I dread to think what would happen, but he has never been violent before, but that might be pushing it!
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Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Florida
Posts: 649
At least you have an asset there and I'm not referring to your husband. Is a divorce in order then sell the house? That would be the only solution I could think of but it would require a long, painful process. Then again, it doesn't sound like it could get any worse.
Perhaps consult with legal aid and weigh your options with this.
Keep us posted
Perhaps consult with legal aid and weigh your options with this.
Keep us posted
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Florida
Posts: 649
Originally Posted by nappy 
Thank you for your replys, Cat1961 I give you alot of credit for getting out.
if I ever threw my husbands booze across the room, I dread to think what would happen, but he has never been violent before, but that might be pushing it!
if I ever threw my husbands booze across the room, I dread to think what would happen, but he has never been violent before, but that might be pushing it!
I hope you find a resolution FAST!
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