thislonelygirl

so i felt a little pride in ah earlier he was drunk and we were talking . we started talking about his raise at work which he should get end of the month and its a hefty raise. hell be making in the 6 figures. so as we are talking he mentions hiring a personal trainer. i nearly fell over! usually when he has talked about working out he has mentioned steroids ( the addict mind..one thing for another)
we keep talking and he starts talking about when he got out of rehab the last time and how BIG he was and i said well you werent drinking, you were healthy the way your body should have been. he actually agreed and said how amazing he felt too....being big and sober and he was talking about how he hates drinking and how he hates that he drinks and how he wants to feel that way again and a few other things i cant remember exactly right now but it was a shock to me. anyhow the conversation didnt end there....we talked about him going to outpatient after he gets his raise because he can afford it then. he agreed.
oh how i WISH i had the money right then and there to just send him on his way. he is ready....but more ready at that moment.
so january with raise and time off it looks like hell be getting sober....no excuses after that ...if he meant what he said he will do it then and with everything lining up no reason not to. he WILL have time off and he WILL have more money. so i cant see anything stop him at that point but for himself.
This makes me happy ....i know what some people would say "not to get my hopes up" I am not at all.....i am happy because next month it will go one of two ways 1.hell get sober or 2. he wont either way there is no reason he shouldnt be sober and ill get my closure on what if and maybe he wiill...im tired of the questions i ask myself and so this among the raise being good news....im overly excited to see what HE WILL DO. i am not pushing, not forcing...the conversation alone was HIM not me so i guess itll just have to be wait and see and as far as christmas guys...i got good sleep (yay!) it was hard too because my back started to hurt so bad the other night but i finally fell asleep and stayed asleep and i am more excited and relaxed for chistmas.....it doesnt have to be perfect to be a good christmas. so thanks everyone for the reminders.

sugarbear1

AA is free for when he is serious.

I wish you both well!

With love & hugs,

thislonelygirl

this is true . aa is free. of course his excuse is he hates aa ..i have waited long enough to hear the words above so i think i can wait a little while longer. no excuse ....he has said he would do it not afraid of rehab /outpatient so this is hios chance to prove that to me and himseld. thank you for the response.

dollydo

" looks like hell be getting sober...."

Really? He was drunk and promising to get sober after he gets his raise?

You have believed his hollow words for so long, they always buy him time with you, hopefully he backs them up with action, but I wouldn't hold my breath waiting.

Hope this all works out like you wish it to. Enjoy your holiday!

dandylion

thislonelygirl, in my experience, words mean nothing coming from an alcoholic. Action is the only thing that counts.

sincerely, dandylion

thislonelygirl

no no you misunderstand. The it looks like hell be getting sober comment doesnt mean HE WILL be getting sober it means that is what he is saying has since the conversation.....what HE does is up to him. he has NO excuses, NONE and im ready to either face the reality completely and move on with my life or accept the new sober him. Either way there is nothing holding him back....we were suffering financially for awhile and his job was high demanding to get to this goal of a raise . im not making excuses becaus i feel that if he truly wants something he will bite scratch and pull at the world to get it .....however with nothing in his way....will he do it? this i am interested to know. not that i "Believe him" but that im ready to believe in something...imyself. just ready to put the excuses to rest and see it for what it is.

Rosiepetal

Be careful lonelygirl, I would be more inclined to believe what he said if he was sober at the time. Will he even remember the conversation?
Actions will speak louder than words & then you can choose your destiny but if it's quacking & broken promises, move on with your life.
Hugs.

thislonelygirl

thanks rosie hes brought it up again since. i think i need to do this though for myself see it trough until end of the month/beginning of january.its more for me than it is for him.....i need to hit bottom myself ...if its good its good if it isnt it isnt but i think i need this

Rosiepetal

In that case I will give you my support all the way, no matter the outcome.