New and Scared
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Colorado
Posts: 19
New and Scared
What a great site! I am posting because I want to quit drinking but I am scared because it has been a fixture in my life for so many years. Most of the people I spend my time with, including my husband, also drink heavily and I am afraid that they will not understand that I want to get sober. Most of my friends and family live out of town so they don't know how much I drink. I plan to attend my first AA meeting on Monday (no one knows). Scared but excited about what it will do for my future.
I am worried for my health. I got a concussion a couple of weeks ago and my memory is slow to come back. I also worry about my liver, etc. I want to live a happy and healthy life. I have wasted too many years abusing alcohol. I am afraid to quit cold turkey because I know it is dangerous. I can't do detox or rehab because I don't have insurance that covers it and can't take time off of work. I am trying to taper down until I can eliminate it completely. I am hoping that going to AA meetings will help encourage me along my path.
I know I will be questioned by people as I am cutting back/quitting and I am going to say alcohol doesn't agree with me anymore. I have to stay strong and steadfast, knowing that I am stronger than this poison that tries to control me.
Does anyone have advice for my first AA meeting and dealing with being around drinkers while being sober? Thank you so much in advance and for all of your positive posts in the past. They have helped encourage me to make this positive move in my life.
I am worried for my health. I got a concussion a couple of weeks ago and my memory is slow to come back. I also worry about my liver, etc. I want to live a happy and healthy life. I have wasted too many years abusing alcohol. I am afraid to quit cold turkey because I know it is dangerous. I can't do detox or rehab because I don't have insurance that covers it and can't take time off of work. I am trying to taper down until I can eliminate it completely. I am hoping that going to AA meetings will help encourage me along my path.
I know I will be questioned by people as I am cutting back/quitting and I am going to say alcohol doesn't agree with me anymore. I have to stay strong and steadfast, knowing that I am stronger than this poison that tries to control me.
Does anyone have advice for my first AA meeting and dealing with being around drinkers while being sober? Thank you so much in advance and for all of your positive posts in the past. They have helped encourage me to make this positive move in my life.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Gatineau, QC, CA
Posts: 5,100
Welcome to SR! For the detox, a doctor is a good way to stay safe.
As for friend that drink I personally had to make hard choices. I even left a girlfriend behind, hardest I had to do because I really liked her. But she drinks or smokes pot. I'm clean and proud of it. Great choice you are making for your health, both mental and physical.
As for friend that drink I personally had to make hard choices. I even left a girlfriend behind, hardest I had to do because I really liked her. But she drinks or smokes pot. I'm clean and proud of it. Great choice you are making for your health, both mental and physical.
Guest
Join Date: Nov 2012
Posts: 536
Hi Sunshine, so happy to have you here. I got sober a couple of weeks ago. This site has helped me tremendously. Even found someone to text message to when I really wanted to drink. The support here has been incredible.
Glad you are here!!!!
June
Glad you are here!!!!
June
Powerless over Alcohol
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Trudging the Road to Happy Destiny!
Posts: 4,018
Welcome aboard.. 
I drank heavy for over 20 years. I first lived to drink and somewhere it turned to drink to live..
I had those legal and health consqueances and still kept going on ..
But I did find those rooms of AA and it has saved me from myself..
Just go open minded and listen, and remember its okay to smile.. Your only late for one AA meeting , the first one..
Come let us know how it went for you..
I drank heavy for over 20 years. I first lived to drink and somewhere it turned to drink to live..
I had those legal and health consqueances and still kept going on ..
But I did find those rooms of AA and it has saved me from myself..
Just go open minded and listen, and remember its okay to smile.. Your only late for one AA meeting , the first one..
Come let us know how it went for you..
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Florida
Posts: 649
Welcome to SR Sunshine!
It is a scary experience to give up alcohol but well worth it in the end. With all the encouraging words and support from fellow members, you can do it!
I'm looking forward to being healthy again very soon.
It is a scary experience to give up alcohol but well worth it in the end. With all the encouraging words and support from fellow members, you can do it!
I'm looking forward to being healthy again very soon.
Trudger of Happy Destiny
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Naperville, IL
Posts: 1,918
Welcome to SR. As others have mentioned, easy does it! Concentrate on quitting the drink, first and foremost, would be my suggestion. Do this with the support of your doctor. As humbling and scary as that might seem, they know what they are doing and will be very non-judgmental and glad you are doing it.
As far as AA meetings, look for some in your area and take your pick! There are ALL sorts of meetings; speakers, discussion, story, big book studies, young people, men, women's, you name it!
Glad you are here.
As far as AA meetings, look for some in your area and take your pick! There are ALL sorts of meetings; speakers, discussion, story, big book studies, young people, men, women's, you name it!
Glad you are here.
SR Fan
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
Welcome sunshine!
You're making a great decision for yourself! I know it's scary... to me, it felt like jumping off a cliff, but this place helped a lot and I just tried to focus on dealing with one day or one thing at a time.
It's OK to be a little selfish, too..... I had to put my sobriety first. In the early days that meant not socializing as much and getting the support I needed. I think you'll find that you'll figure it out as you go.... it's not nearly as scary as we fear. If it were, none of us would ever get sober, much less be happy about it!
You're making a great decision for yourself! I know it's scary... to me, it felt like jumping off a cliff, but this place helped a lot and I just tried to focus on dealing with one day or one thing at a time.
It's OK to be a little selfish, too..... I had to put my sobriety first. In the early days that meant not socializing as much and getting the support I needed. I think you'll find that you'll figure it out as you go.... it's not nearly as scary as we fear. If it were, none of us would ever get sober, much less be happy about it!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Colorado
Posts: 19
Thank you for your support, Junebugapril, IndaMiricale, cat1961, Xune, Fernaceman and artsoul. How did you all quit? I know I need to work hard on my willpower and emotions. I'm afraid I will cry at my first AA meeting. I hope that is ok because I think it means I'm healing and moving forward.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 5,937
The fear of having to tell people you are quitting is a lot worse than the reality of it. Some people will try to tell you you're not an alcoholic, you just need to take time off, or cut back, etc etc. Obviously those people either don't understand how bad it is for you or are alcoholics trying to rationalize their own drinking. Some people will pat you on the back and commend you getting sober.
But for the most part, no one will notice! The average person is too wrapped up in their own drama and their own thing to pay much attention to you.
Tell people you're on antibiotics, tell them you're on a diet, say whatever it takes to deflect the attention until you feel ready to admit you've quit.
And of course you won't ever admit you have quit to admit at least to yourself that you can never drink again. Don't give the Beast any false hope that you might change your mind some day!
But for the most part, no one will notice! The average person is too wrapped up in their own drama and their own thing to pay much attention to you.
Tell people you're on antibiotics, tell them you're on a diet, say whatever it takes to deflect the attention until you feel ready to admit you've quit.
And of course you won't ever admit you have quit to admit at least to yourself that you can never drink again. Don't give the Beast any false hope that you might change your mind some day!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: UK
Posts: 5,678
This really helped get me to my first AA meeting Sunshine...
Your First AA Meeting<
... especially the bit on fear.
AA isn't actually scary at all, but admitting certain things to ourselves can be. I would definitely ignore other peoples drinking habits and what they think of you quitting. This drove me a bit crazy early on and to be honest it was wasted energy because my feelings changed on this over time very dramatically. Needless to say though that you being sober is all that matters, everything else will follow nicely in due time.
Glad you're here x
Your First AA Meeting<
... especially the bit on fear.
AA isn't actually scary at all, but admitting certain things to ourselves can be. I would definitely ignore other peoples drinking habits and what they think of you quitting. This drove me a bit crazy early on and to be honest it was wasted energy because my feelings changed on this over time very dramatically. Needless to say though that you being sober is all that matters, everything else will follow nicely in due time.
Glad you're here x
Member
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Southern Ontario, Canada
Posts: 1,618
Good luck with the meeting I hope it goes well for you. And good job on taking these first all important steps.
Hopefully your husband will understand and support you....maybe he will even follow in your footsteps because of the good example you are making.
I hope it goes well for you. And good job on taking these first all important steps. Hopefully your husband will understand and support you....maybe he will even follow in your footsteps because of the good example you are making.
Guest
Join Date: Nov 2012
Posts: 536
Hypo, thanks for posting that link on first AA meetings. I realized that at the five AA meetings I have been to, none have recited the serenity prayer! I am surprised. When I did Al-Anon, years ago, we always did the serenity prayer, and it really helped me a lot.
Sunshine, you asked how people deal with being around drinkers. For me, I just avoid it. I am too new at this, with 15 days sober, to be around drinkers. I am turning down dinner invitations because I don't think I can handle dinner out without a drink right now. I have hurt a few feelings, but my own sobriety is the most important thing to me right now.
This forum has helped me a lot more than AA meetings have, but everyone is different. I want to like AA, and I will continue to go to meetings, but I have not gotten that much out of them yet. Perhaps I am not putting enough into the meetings.
So happy you are here with us!
JunebugApril
Sunshine, you asked how people deal with being around drinkers. For me, I just avoid it. I am too new at this, with 15 days sober, to be around drinkers. I am turning down dinner invitations because I don't think I can handle dinner out without a drink right now. I have hurt a few feelings, but my own sobriety is the most important thing to me right now.
This forum has helped me a lot more than AA meetings have, but everyone is different. I want to like AA, and I will continue to go to meetings, but I have not gotten that much out of them yet. Perhaps I am not putting enough into the meetings.
So happy you are here with us!
JunebugApril
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Colorado
Posts: 19
Thank you everyone for your support. I went to my first AA meeting. Everyone was wonderful. I plan to go to another meeting today. I am so depressed and anxious but I know I can do this. Job stress and the holidays don't help lol! Thank you again to all of you for your encouragement and showing that sobriety can be done. Hugs to you all.
I plan to go to another meeting today. I am so depressed and anxious but I know I can do this. Job stress and the holidays don't help lol! Thank you again to all of you for your encouragement and showing that sobriety can be done. Hugs to you all.
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