Memories...
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: PA
Posts: 985
Memories...
Today I was reminded of where my life was a year ago. I was just divorced from my AH who worked at the same place as myself. It was revealed around that time that my AH had been having an affair for the last year and a half of our so called marriage. It was the last and I mean the last thing I expected from him. I was sooo shocked and probably should have expected it.
As it came up today in several conversations this week as it has been a year since he was fired from the job for his behavior. I recognized how much easier it was to talk about but also found myself listening to what I was saying. I heard both how hard a year it has been for me thanks to such supportive co workers and also heard how it really was to live and be married to an alcoholic. While the memories are still there... I have enough distance to see the situation for what it really was.
I post this to share with those who are still struggling to stop and listen to the feedback of those who love you. Many surrounding me remained supportive and never offered an unkind word. Now I am learning as I accept reality of my own history that I did the best I could in the situation - and it was a bad situation that I let go. There is more for me than the past and a bad situation. I have posted many good things recently coming to be... this is the result of moving forward and not holding onto the past.
As it came up today in several conversations this week as it has been a year since he was fired from the job for his behavior. I recognized how much easier it was to talk about but also found myself listening to what I was saying. I heard both how hard a year it has been for me thanks to such supportive co workers and also heard how it really was to live and be married to an alcoholic. While the memories are still there... I have enough distance to see the situation for what it really was.
I post this to share with those who are still struggling to stop and listen to the feedback of those who love you. Many surrounding me remained supportive and never offered an unkind word. Now I am learning as I accept reality of my own history that I did the best I could in the situation - and it was a bad situation that I let go. There is more for me than the past and a bad situation. I have posted many good things recently coming to be... this is the result of moving forward and not holding onto the past.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Better than where I was
Posts: 267
Thank you. I am in the middle of a divorce with my STBXAW who was also cheating on me, like you something I wouldn't have thought she was capable of. Well at least the person I used to know wasn't capable. It gives me hope to one day be able to look back on it all. It can be easy to get stuck in the moment & not see hope. Thank you.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Bristol TN/VA
Posts: 12,431
Hi, Kassie! You've been amazing all along.
Distance really does give a perspective we can't get in the midst of things, doesn't it?
The past does become just that and no more....the past, something that has little to no room in our todays.
We DO forgetta'bout it. and still get to keep the wisdom gained, like the ability to spot red flags and not try to justify perfectly normal reactions that undermine us to ourselves...by trying to justify them. GAWD, what an awkward sentence, but you'll get the meaning of it, I know.
Now, I am going to be happy to check out your posts and see what you have going on.
I quit coming to this part of the forums because it just wasn't fresh in my life and I feel others are far more helpful.
I am the crusty old lady that just wants to say..tell the A to kick rocks and don't look back, you'll stumble looking back while walking forward. LOL
I KNOW I am not missing out on anything by not looking back because I also do know mine did what is natural to him...followed the progressive nature of a'ism...and will to the day he dies, which will be sooner rather than later.
I came off too strong when you joined...so not the best person to be here.
In truth, you handled things far better than I did.
So..just glad I popped in and glad your todays are good to you!!! very glad!!!
Seems we are visions of the Christmas future, sharing that it is better and brighter.
I was sunk so low, I couldn't see a horizon when I joined.
SR saved my life and now I get to live it.
humble thanks...each one here makes up SR and offers that incredible healing power in it's wealth and strength of being many.
Distance really does give a perspective we can't get in the midst of things, doesn't it?
The past does become just that and no more....the past, something that has little to no room in our todays.
We DO forgetta'bout it. and still get to keep the wisdom gained, like the ability to spot red flags and not try to justify perfectly normal reactions that undermine us to ourselves...by trying to justify them. GAWD, what an awkward sentence, but you'll get the meaning of it, I know.
Now, I am going to be happy to check out your posts and see what you have going on.
I quit coming to this part of the forums because it just wasn't fresh in my life and I feel others are far more helpful.
I am the crusty old lady that just wants to say..tell the A to kick rocks and don't look back, you'll stumble looking back while walking forward. LOL
I KNOW I am not missing out on anything by not looking back because I also do know mine did what is natural to him...followed the progressive nature of a'ism...and will to the day he dies, which will be sooner rather than later.
I came off too strong when you joined...so not the best person to be here.
In truth, you handled things far better than I did.
So..just glad I popped in and glad your todays are good to you!!! very glad!!!
Seems we are visions of the Christmas future, sharing that it is better and brighter.
I was sunk so low, I couldn't see a horizon when I joined.
SR saved my life and now I get to live it.
humble thanks...each one here makes up SR and offers that incredible healing power in it's wealth and strength of being many.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Anchorage, Alaska
Posts: 4,719
Originally Posted by Kassie2 
While the memories are still there... I have enough distance to see the situation for what it really was.
Thanks for sharing this Kassie. Such a great reminder this morning of how far we can go once we decide we are done.
A jug fills drop by drop
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 6,784
Kassie
I remember you.
So glad things are going well for you! life rewards the brave.
You gave me a lot of support and I will never forget it.
You deserve all that is good
all of us do, not sure why we learn otherwise during life.
I am glad I am remembering this for myself as well !
HUGS
I remember you.
So glad things are going well for you! life rewards the brave.
You gave me a lot of support and I will never forget it.
You deserve all that is good
all of us do, not sure why we learn otherwise during life. I am glad I am remembering this for myself as well !
HUGS
Living in a Pinkful Place
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Louisiana
Posts: 7,545
and some day you will be like me 4 yrs down that road ~
I still have moments when the pains, fears and scars try to come back alive ~ but I remind them ~ I have dealt with you ~ I have learned all the lessons you needed to teach me ~ go away & bother me no more ~
Today is a good day to be celebrated, alive and PINKfully free ~
Keep hanging in there!
pink hugs,
I still have moments when the pains, fears and scars try to come back alive ~ but I remind them ~ I have dealt with you ~ I have learned all the lessons you needed to teach me ~ go away & bother me no more ~
Today is a good day to be celebrated, alive and PINKfully free ~
Keep hanging in there!
pink hugs,
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