LoveMeNow

Friday, November 30, 2012

You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go

Detachment

One day, my son brought a gerbil home to live with us. We put it in a cage. Some time later, the gerbil escaped. For the next six months, the animal ran frightened and wild through the house. So did we - chasing it.

"There it is. Get it!" we'd scream, each time someone spotted the gerbil. I, or my son, would throw down whatever we were working on, race across the house, and lunge at the animal hoping to catch it.

I worried about it, even when we didn't see it. "This isn't right," I'd think. "I can't have a gerbil running loose in the house. We've got to catch it. We've got to do something."

A small animal, the size of a mouse had the entire household in a tizzy.

One day, while sitting in the living room, I watched the animal scurry across the hallway. In frenzy, I started to lunge at it, as I usually did, then I stopped myself.

No, I said, I'm all done. If that animal wants to live in the nooks and crannies of this house, I'm going to let it. I'm done worrying about it. I'm done chasing it. It's an irregular circumstance, but that's just the way it's going to have to be.

I let the gerbil run past without reacting. I felt slightly uncomfortable with my new reaction - not reacting - but I stuck to it anyway.

I got more comfortable with my new reaction - not reacting. Before long, I became downright peaceful with the situation. I had stopped fighting the gerbil. One afternoon, only weeks after I started practicing my new attitude, the gerbil ran by me, as it had so many times, and I barely glanced at it. The animal stopped in its tracks, turned around, and looked at me. I started to lunge at it. It started to run away. I relaxed.

"Fine," I said. "Do what you want." And I meant it.

One hour later, the gerbil came and stood by me, and waited. I gently picked it up and placed it in its cage, where it has lived happily ever since. The moral of the story? Don't lunge at the gerbil. He's already frightened, and chasing him just scares him more and makes us crazy.

Detachment works.

Today, I will be comfortable with my new reaction - not reacting. I will feel at peace.

Freedom1990

Bumping this up...fantastic read for the day!

Ilovemysonjj

Thanks, great story and powerful as to the nature/law of attraction.
TT

Vale

Love me not makes short work of errant rodents!

Many people spend all their lives running from things
that aren't chasing them,too!

JimmyDesperate

Very insightful.

twestlie

I have this book and love it. Thank you for sharing. :-)

Vale

I think we should rename SR.....
call it "chasing gerbils" instead!

I especially loved:

"Fine," I said. "Do what you want." And I meant it.

supportforme

Thanks - I needed this today. I've got quite a visual too

ISOHumility

Yup, the "and I meant it" was the most important part of this story, for me.

I may now imagine my son as a giant gerbil.

Kindeyes

The power of this cannot be over stated. Allowing someone to sit in their addiction and discomfort is tough. We believe we're powerful enough to stop their discomfort and the truth is.....we are......temporarily. We aren't solving anything.....except temporarily relieving our own discomfort.....because we can't STAND knowing how uncomfortable the addict is (and they always tell us how uncomfortable they are because the fear, obligation and guilt they throw at us is a powerful tool.....and they do it because it works.) We are predictable.....just as sick and predictable as the addict.

When we tell the addict that they can have it THEIR way, but we won't do it with them.......they sit in their discomfort alone. And just like the gerbil, they'll survive amazingly.....until they get sick and tired of it.

I loved this reading. Thanks for sharing!

gentle hugs
ke