MIRecovery

I have seen this time and time again. People new to sobriety seem to be bound and determined to put themselves in drinking situations. Being in drinking situations is very similar to having a couple of beers. Sometimes you can do it sometimes you can not. I have also seen a delayed reaction where the person did not drink but it got the alcoholic brain rolling and they drank in the next few days

I am now OK with drinking situations but I sure was not in the first couple of years. Even now I avoid them unless I have a very good reason for being there.

My questions is why do people chance it?

Sazzle

This is a difficult one to answer. I did it recently because I had organised a friends 40th party. It would have been weird me not being there. I survived (even thrived) and I did this in week 2.

I've pulled out of two Christmas parties where the focus is on drinking. The other ones are a meal with friends/colleagues some if whom don't drink anyway.

I suppose I want to be sure that life isn't a dull house arrest after quitting. I'm only in 35 days and I keep in the back if my kind that it could lead to a slip.

The bottom line for me is that alcohol is everywhere. If I'm with friends, I have support. If I'm watching ad breaks on my own in my flat and a drinking one comes up I'm just as vulnerable. My journey involves me tuning out certain things now.

Perhaps I'm being naive and I'm prepared to change my behaviours if I'm proven to be!

Very thought provoking post MIR.

S x

hypochondriac

I think it depends how far down the line you are/were and how much you're prepared to risk.

I know in my previous 'attempts' I didn't change my usual social routine and just tried to go out and not drink. More than often I'd succeed but I'd be drinking twice as much later! I'm not sure I was taking it seriously enough at that stage. It wasn't til my drinking really threatened my so called 'functioning' status that I really began to try and make changes.

If you haven't lost everything it is probably only natural to try and cling to your old life and the friends you have. Maybe people don't let go because they're scared of change and can't see how it'll turn out.

I know that for me my danger point was being at home alone, so although I have avoided social situations a lot I still have this fear that I'll be drinking if I isolate myself. It's a tricky balance to find though.

MIRecovery

I totally agree we can not be totally shielded from alcohol, it is everywhere. The problem with being naive is that if you are"Proven to be wrong" you are screwed. One drink can lead to years of continued alcoholism.

Thepatman

I might be swimming against the river flow here, but I don't feel like hanging out with my drunk friends, but some of my familly members just have a glass of wine during dinner then cofee after. Difference, I don't feel like behing arround prople that drink to get drunk, but "normal" drinkers is ok for me. Hell I'm even going to be able to have beer in the fridge to people that come over. I don't drink anymore, I know people that also don't drink at all.

I don't want to feel or be treated like an alien.

ru12

I don't know. I will go to a bar if there is sufficient reason for me to be there. I find them very boring. Drunk people aren't much fun to be around when one is sober. I guess for me drinking just isn't an option. Even if I were swimming in it, I wouldn't want to drink it. I think I've developed an aversion to it . . . I don't even like the smell. But, when I was newly sober, it was important for me to stay away from drinking places.

Pondlady

I worry when someone really new, maybe just a few days sober, is meeting up with friends , who is the past they drank a lot with. If these are truly good friends, they should understand. If they're "drinking buddies"....they should be avoided....IMHO.

We have a couple we used to do dinner and drinks with....lots of wine. I've not seen her since I quit in June. She recently sent me a message saying she wants to get together for dinner / drinks. I don't need to respond quickly, but when I do, I'm going to mention that I don't drink anymore. I don't think it will matter to her....but want to make sure.

jennikate

Good question....I don't know. I avoid drinking situations at this point. I don't care if I go out for dinner with someone and they have a beer but I wouldn't be around the bar scene. I also plan to avoid Christmas parties this year. Right now, I just think it's for the best. Maybe, at some point in the future, I'll change my mind. But for today, that's my plan.

Toss

I think to intentionally put yourself in drinking situations (bar, drinking Xmas party, old friends who drink alot, etc...) is not smart, destined for failure. I was a heavy solidary drinker, when I drank socially, it would be minimal or not at all, because I did not want a DUI or to embarass myself. When I got home, I would pound. So these outside situations would not be the same for me because they did not match my drinking behavior. But if my wife drank at home (she rarely does), I know I would awaken the AV and be in danger.

I can go out socially when others drink. I have and will not attend anything where I know there will be a heavy drinker(s), luckily that is not a problem.

Toss

Windancer

That is a tough question. Everyone's recovery is different, though I agree going to a bar is not setting one up for success. I tend to second ThePatMan, I dont go hang out with drinking buddies, but if a family member has a glass of wine or something like that I am not going to freak. I dont want to feel like an alien, and I dont want to put myself in situations where the goal is to get drunk. Fact of the matter is, alcohol is everywhere. You cant get away from it completely. While I dont think that means one has to tempt fate by making stupid decisions and going to dangerous situations, I think for me it is important to accept that alcohol will always be in the world, and I have to accept that i cant and wont have any.