samwitch

I have a bunch of invites coming up over the next month for events that involve drinking. I know we all do. Most of them I'm feeling confident that I can handle and stay sober, but there is one that worries me. It's with a group of people I don't know that well, but I know they drink. A lot.

I had originally accepted thinking I could handle it, but have been increasing worried about it since then. Today, I cancelled. I feel badly for doing so, as on the one hand, I feel like I need to establish new friends, but I'm so nervous about being around a bunch of people I don't know well who drink a lot. I'm afraid I'll cave due to nervousness and the amount of drinking going on.

Did I do the right thing by cancelling? Or should I have gone to flex my sober muscles, so to speak?

I have 33 days of sobriety btw.

YEM

I would go with what your gut tells you and it sounds like you did. My sobriety is nothing to be trifled with. I would not ever put myself in a situation to "flex my sober muscles" when its unnecessary to do so.

Xune

Do you think you made the best decision for yourself and your sobriety.

audra

Hi Samwitch - you seemed to have had a "gut" feeling about this event and so you cancelled. I'd go with that. Understandably, you want new friends but this group of new friends adds extra challenge to your new sobriety. This is the part I wonder about. Do you really need "new" friends right now who drink that much? There is so much talk in the meetings I go to about continuing "old" relationships where people are into drinking. Also, too, this is a hard time of year - maybe for this year could you lay low and get into the whole self care thing? So I guess I'm saying I think you did the right thing in taking care of you.



Audra

doggonecarl

You did the right thing. You have plenty of time to flex your "sobriety" muscle, and you'll know when too.

With the holidays you may have to miss out on a number of invites, even ones with old friends. Do whatever it takes to stay on track, is what I say.

artsoul

Totally agree with YEM.... If it makes you uncomfortable, don't go. I still turn down some invitations after a couple years sober.

samwitch

You hit the nail on the head. I do want new friends to hang out with, but the more I thought of it, getting involved with another hard drinking group didn't seem like the wisest move. I'm really thinking I'm getting to a better place emotionally now, but at just 33 days, maybe laying low through the holidays is the best plan, and then I can start focusing on finding people with other interests besides drinking.

Thank you!

zanzibar

It's good to see you taking steps to protect your sobriety and dealing with the situation. I think you absolutely did the right thing.

heath480

You did the right thing samwitch.

MidnightBlue

Hi, Samwitch. I agree with what's been said above: if you don't feel it's right for you, then don't go.

And if to compare it with muscles: when someone goes to the gym for the first time, he doesn't do squats or other exercises with 200 lbs, but starts with light weights. So, why not to go easy on yourself and your sobriety?

phoebe64

Oh, I have no doubt that you did the right thing.

T

FamilyMan2153

The "test" of sobriety happens daily. When we are mad, happy, anxious, bored, you name it. Going or not going is all up to you. I cannot tell you what to do. YOU need to decide and be happy with your decision. At 33 days sober you have made decisions daily to stay sober. This is just another decision. Good luck.