Mammyof3boys

I was just thinking about how often when I way drinking I would wake up and think about when I could drink again. I mean how crazy is that, 700 am and I'm thinking should I buy wine or stick with beer or mix it up.
So much thought about this poison I have feed to myself for the last 18 years.
Imagining now all the other things I could have been thinking of.

Have a good day all!!

Check in later.

Magnificent7

I never woke up thinking about it. But, I certainly could spend hours on end trying to figure out when and how to get it, and where I was going to hide the bottles, i.e. cover my tracks. It was so exhausting then, that I have boredom in sobriety however, it's a good problem to have.

pipparina

my hangovers were usually so bad I would tell myself I'd never do THAT again. But, the pain would fade by mid day and I was off to the races again.

Mammyof3boys

I've had both bad mornings and also 1s were I could plan my evening around drinking.

MIRecovery

This stuff is progressive. At the end I woke up at 6:00 AM, made coffee, let the dogs out, went to the garage and took a big swig of vodka to start my drinking day.

Of course in the beginning I did not start drinking at 6:00 but that is where my beast took me.

Get off this horrible roller coaster as soon as you can

Pondlady

Once I was picking up pastries in the morning for a school coffee. I thought to myself I should buy a bottle of wine now, since I'll be so tired later. Left it in the hot car and the cork popped out, due to heat. Had to get the car detailed.....all because I was strategizing about my wine supply

Now, I'd just enjoy the pastries

Mammyof3boys

Thanks Pondlady and MIRecovery. I can see how it would be progressive for me too. Thanks for your support.

walkingwithgod

I think every morning about drinking in the afternoon after work. But, I am trying now to see how screwed up that thinking is, and a normal person would not think that way. I try all day to think of other things. It is not easy, but I am trying.

Mammyof3boys

I know it's not easy to do. I guess if you decide your not having any, maybe can push the urge out of your mind.

But I also know that it's not normal to think about drinking all day. It's obsessive. And it shows me once again that I'm an alcoholic.

nonblondechef

One Easter morning on my way to work I saw a local drive up liquor outlet was open so I swung through and got my wine because I knew they would be closed when I was done. Could not deviate from my normal evening routine, ya know? So glad those days are behind me!!

escapist

I just realized that I don't think about drinking when I wake up anymore. Wow. When did that happen? Sometime in the past 6 weeks. I really don't think about getting alcohol first thing anymore. Thank you Mammy. You just helped me to recognize my progress. Thank you !!

SIPD

I too was starting to plan my drinking as soon as I opened my eyes in the morning....this disease was part of the reason my biological father died....I do not want that to be "why" for me....this is progressive and I am only beginning to see this now....I have 1 day sober....

MIRecovery

I have said it many times, "Being a drunk is a lot of work and requires a lot of planning and project management skills."

Mammyof3boys

MIRecovery: yes it does! Too much planning. (I like your photo, is that your dog?)
Welcome SIPD.

MIRecovery

Yes that is my fur child who passed a few years ago due to cancer. She survived eating two razor blades, half a tin can, numerous tennis balls, a 3 pound roast and God only knows what else but she could not beat cancer. We called her the Devil dog for a whole bunch of reasons none of them good but she was the coolest dog

nostalgia

I usually wake up and the 1st thing i think about is whether i drank last night. The answer is usually yes. Then I tell myself that tonight is the night I am not going to drink, and feel really guilty. Then 5 pm rolls around and I actually find myself checking the clock to see if it's drinking time yet. Sigh.

Repeat.

Abetterway

When I drank EVERY SINGLE EVENT in the day brought my mind to alcohol. Will it snow later, should I get alcohol now? Did I put enough beer in the fridge so it will be cold enough when i get home? If girlfriend is sick does that mean she will go to bed early so I can sneak more drinks? How exhausting. I hated myself because I could not stop. I just couldn't.
On December 5th I'll have 1 year of sobriety and I am so happy about that. i never have to feel that shame again.

phoebe64

It sure can suck up much time and money. I so very many ways...

Pondlady

MI Recovery......who knew we were honing our management skills LOL

NBC - I might have been the car behind you in the drive through liquor store!

So nice to not worry about that stuff anymore

Mammyof3boys

Oh sorry to hear that. My moms golden passed away about 2 years ago, he was only 10 and such a love bug, we cried for weeks. His name was Charlie. Super smart! She has a new one now who is a terror... To the couch legs. Lol