InspiredAnew

I was doing pretty well, short term goal as of Nov 7- no drinking for the est of the month-about 3 wks. Well, I was goin to the gym a lot. I was staying in and not hangin out at work. I was eating great and sleeping well.

After a week and a half I had a long day, PMS frankly- a real trigger for me, and had been up late. So I decide to have a couple beers after work. No biggie.. I went home, and felt sluggish and disappointed my whole next day off. "Good!" I thought, "this reminds me of what I didn't want for myself anymore. 1 beer turned into 3, turned into gettin a late sandwich and a vague hangover. I'm really done with this!"

Well, a couple nights later- did it again. Caught a ride with friends after work and we went to a bar. I said I'd splurge and have a beer. Got a beer, and a shot. And another. And another. And felt like crap. Again!

Saturday, same thing. Last night, again. I know this is prob no shocker for many- but that's why I'm comfortable here. I can't stand wasting my days anymore! I feel like all month I've been one extreme or the other, just less drunk. I'm fine with stayin n for the night and did that for two weeks. Really thought if I went out with friends I could savor a single beer and go home content. So frustrated and I know I just have to start over each morning. I guess I'm most stumped with how to compromise getting together to socialize and not just play safe being a hermit, y'know?

Sorry so long winded- ranting a bit. :\

Anna

For me, I had to accept that alcohol was no longer an option in my life, ever. When I accepted that, my mind began to work to find healthier ways to deal with life. If I had decided I would stop drinking for 3 weeks, I would have focused on the moment when I could start drinking again.

And, early recovery means lots of changes. I had to remove some people in my life and change activities. Honestly, I could not be around alcohol for many months - I just couldn't. You might need to make some tough choices about friends and activities, but it will be worth it.

Delilah1

As always Anna has great advice.

InspiredAnew

Yes^^ thank you for the response. I guess there's serious irony in viewing "having a beer" as the best reward for not drinking a while, hmmm. I think the major adjustment is getting lonely at night, and having a lifestyle where my socializing IS primarily getting out for drinks.

I need to be realistic that it isn't true that ALL of my friends ALWAYS drink. Those are just the ones I choose to spend the most time with and that's how we interact. I forget I have multiple other friends I've frankly neglected because we DON'T have that in common. Like my friends that have babies, or that I know from the gym, or that work 9-5 jobs.

I've blown off many a lunch date, or a yoga class, or a shopping date... just because I was hungover, sleeping in, depressed, or totally forgot I'd made plans. I'm sure if I'd fill my daytime with productive plans and different interaction- I'd not feel the itch to get out for drinks after a night at work so much.

jennikate

I've found it much easier to stop drinking entirely. Moderating does not work for me at all. But then again I'm an alcoholic so that makes sense. You may have to do some soul searching and make some hard decisions.

As for the socializing, I just couldn't and still can't (6 mths out) do it. I get most of my social interaction from AA now.

Thepatman

I think an important thing, for me at least is learning to be happy with myself. I've re-arranged my house got new decorations etc. It now feels like a sanctuary, my safe place to be. Had many plants before but got more. It gives a living armony and takes time to take care of so it keeps me busy. Most of my energy is toward improving my home environement.

I spend time alone, starting to love it.

MIRecovery

King Alchohol handed me my butt more times than I can count. It was not until I choose to admit defeat that things got better. When you surrender you are just joining the winning side

aasharon90

That FIRST drink. First. Not second, third,
a million more afterwards. The very FIRST
drink is never ever ever ever gonna be enough
for me. It wasnt 22yrs ago nor today, 22 yrs later.

All I know is......one drink will never ever be
enough to satisfy my desire, cravings, love for it.

However, I couldnt learn to stay sober by myself
22yrs ago and I still can't stay sober today without
help. Help from others with learned knowledge and
tools of a recovery program was and is extremely
important in supporting me, encouraging me to
stay sober a day at a time for as long as i have.

I learned that I never ever have to go thru anything
alone by myself ever again. Never do I ever have to
figure out how to do something alone by myself
ever again. There's always someone out there in
the world that has done it, been there before me,
who has experienced it.


By those in recovery sharing their own experiences,
strengths and hopes of what life has and is like, before
during and after alcohol or drugs has helped me stay
sober. And it can for you too.

If I dont pick up that FIRST drink then I have a greater
chance of staying sober one more day for a many odaat.

frances2011

Welcome! Glad you are here. I relate to your first post and to the good, good suggestions others have shared.

You can do this. You can be permanently sober, for good. My experience in Recovery is that I am happy for the first time in my life.

When I stopped drinking, I had lots of holes inside of loneliness, fear, anxiety....all the feelings that I was trying to blot out with booze. The problem for me is that I wasn't healing the holes, I was just making them worse.

I changed my habits one by one, day by day, with people, places, and activities that were good for me. And day by day, my holes are healing up.

Again, welcome to the SR family.