Hope4Life

This is my 1st post in a while but I really need you guys right now....

This will be my 1st Christmas w/o alcohol, which I previously used to dull the pain of memories of loved ones deaths which happened at this time of year. Being alone during the holidays really isnt fun and my family is all gone now.

With 4 months of sobriety behind me, I am finding myself craving beer again. The Holidays along with a diagnosis of Degenerative Osteoarthritis has got me down and has caused my AV to try and make a comeback. I've been blocking him for a while now but I would really like to get HAMMERED!

I never thought I would still get these cravings after all this time.

Dee74

Hi Hope4Life

I'm sorry for your loss and your sorrow, and for your diagnosis - but the worst thing you could do for any of that is drink.

Do you have any support outside of SR?

D

Hevyn

Hi Hope. Glad you decided to post about your feelings.

I had a hard time my first holiday season too. I finally realized that drinking could never give me the relief I was searching for. The pain would still be there, nothing would be gained. A hangover, a feeling of remorse and defeat maybe. It just wasn't worth it.

I have osteoarthritis too, in my hips. Good nutrition is important to us - alcohol robs us of vitamins. Now's the time to take good care of yourself.

I'm sorry for the sadness you're feeling. Many of us share similar emotions this time of year. Stay close to SR and your friends here. We understand and care.

nogard

Glad your reaching out. Keep posting here and just remember that picking will make things a lot worse.

Hope4Life

I have 3 sober friends that I can call but no one nearby. I'm not a very sociable guy and prefer to be alone.... most of the time.

I really just want to escape all the pain I'm feeling both mentally and physically. If a space ship landed in my yard right now I'd ask them to take me with them...

Amy2011

AA has tons of meetings during the holidays in my area. They have 24 hr meetings on Christmas Eve and New Year's Eve. I would suggest hitting some meetings for support even if you aren't using AA as part of your recovery program. Live support helped me alot through my first holiday season. Good luck.

Delilah1

The holidays are definitely tough, especially since you have lost loved ones around this time of year. I know you will find support on here, and it would be great to find a group near you for added support.

I will be thinking about you.

Scolova

Hello H4L,
This will be my second 'Holiday season' without the drink and my first now that my parents are both gone. I have reconnected with an old girlfriend from high school and we are now dating again, but I would not have felt comfortable doing this - this time last year. Plus we are both introverts to certain degrees.
I made it to around 100 days sober on New Years Day, eventhough I chose to shut-out the rest of the world and went to sleep early, it was an incredibly liberating feeling to wake up clean on the other side. At 14 months I do get that itching feeling to drink but I know too well the disappointment in myself that'd bring.
Wish you the best in sobriety and to break on through this.

Hope4Life

just barely.

Now is about the time I used to start drinking every day.

DoubleBarrel

I used to think that I was "drowning my sorrows", but really I would get pickled drunk, sit there, and stew on it, dwelling in misery, feeling horrible about everything.

I honestly think it is less painful sober. I acknowledge my feelings, but sober tears are therapeutic, and really dealing with it.