Rose2012

Quitting drinking is one thing, and I'm doing it...day 3 today. I'm feeling bored, depressed and lonely so my urge to drink is there, but I won't drink.

I feel as though I took on too much...just broke up with the ex, living in isolation, quitting drinking, and started a new pill that is known for mood swings. Ugh.

What doesn't kill me...

But how do I summon up more motivation? Like to do things I really used to enjoy? For example...I keep reading about people going to the gym and working out. I used to be a gym bunny and loved it. But living so far from the city now, to save money on gas, wear/tear of the car, and the monthly fees, I quit the gym last year and bought a spinning bike and weight training equipment.

It is gathering dust, and has been since October. I know "just do it" probably applies, but I'm wondering if I should just join the gym again and waste the money...or is it a really a waste of money?

I don't know what to do, my head is so cloudy, this seems like a simple decision but it feels insurmountable today. I feel like I'm wasting away, so damn lonely.

And the hobbies...I have no motivation to read, write, paint, knit, cook...I was so gung ho and busy yesterday, today I want to crawl into a hole. Lots of tears today.

MsJax

Hi Rose. I really don't think the gym is a waste of money at all. I blew so much money on booze that my gym membership is nothing. For me, having the membership and actually having to Go somewhere is a good thing. Get ready, drive, make it worth my while...I seem much more motivated to exercise hard when I leave to do it.

Delilah1

Hi Rose,

First, congrats on day 3! For me the gym helps because it is a place just for me (love that they have childcare).

Maybe just start by going for a walk. I love San Diego, but miss the seasons in NY. It sounds like you live in the country, I am sure there are many beautiful parts of nature waiting for you (sorry if that sounds cheesy, I miss walking in different types of weather!!)

Hang in there, you can do this for YOU!!!

nomis

Hey Rose, good on ya for 3 days.

Quitting drinking isn't easy, if it was there wouldn't be any alcoholics in the world. The first part is the hardest I reckon. Can only offer the advice of what's working for me so far.

Take the first ten days-two weeks off to getting your energy back and being sober. If you start worrying about other things, for me anyways, it becomes overwhelming and the urge to drink and forget everything becomes too strong.

My symptoms peaked around the ten day mark (horrible lethargy) and have been lessening since. Just try taking things one day at a time.

Rose2012

Thanks MsJax and Delilah.

Definitely compared to my wine bill, fifty bucks a month isn't really a waste, like I said, my judgment is slightly clouded at the moment!

I have a 13 year old car, on its last legs...I guess that plays into it also, I have to keep the car until I get a new one planned for next March. I'm afraid it'll break down on me for the 50km trip back and forth to the gym, and I need it to get back and forth to school starting in January, so I guess I wanted to "save" it as much wear and tear as possible...maybe I'm just worrying too much about it.

Actually Delilah thanks, I normally would just go out for a walk, we had freezing rain and I can't find the crampons for my boots!

Rose2012

Thanks Nomis...yeah, I probably shouldn't be making any decisions, big or small at the moment...it really is overwhelming. I'm just so bored here and afraid of it.

Scott6433

Hey Rose. I'm right behind you. Day 2 here. Just as you, trying to stay sane. About 2 years ago I too suffered a massive heartbreak with my ex. It sent me spiraling for a while. I tried my best to drink it away stopping for a day or 2 here and there with goals of driving to try karate...or a gym...or to hang out with friends, go to practice...anything. I more than understand that overwhelming feeling or mental paralysis. Well anyway....just a few months ago I found myself with bigger problems. A 2nd dui in 5 years that has caused me to lose my job, my license, my car...blah blah you know the rest I'm sure. I wish I had done more 2 years ago when I had those things but I guess we do what we can when we can do it and when we are ready. I hope your ready hun, I would hate to see you waste good time.

Rose2012

I really miss my ex...I know that's not helping. We were long distance, planning to meet in December, together nearly 4 months...then I caught him in a lie, called him on it and he up and disappeared on me on Halloween. Won't respond to emails, texts or phone calls. Still at this point I'm assuming we're broken up, it gets to me now and then that he just left like that with no explanation, I feel kind of abandoned.

I'm sorry you went through all that hell, but I'm glad you're getting sober and making it through day 2.

I may just throw caution to the wind and join the gym after all on my next pay day. I like the drive, but I do worry about the darn car!

Rose2012

Thanks to those who responded...I guess I need to connect to people right now. My dog is very cuddly, but it doesn't seem like enough.

Scott6433

Halloween was my break up date too! Ugh...Congrats to you for choosing this time to quit. Heartbreak is not a strong point of mine and that thing tore me up...probably when I started drinking the most. You are a rock for being able to handle this without drinking.

Rose2012

Thank you Scott. I'm trying to be the rock, but yeah, I know that torn up feeling. I almost feel like I can't do this right now until I'm out of isolation, but I know that's just a weak excuse.

Xune

Going for a walk is something to consider.

lilgolden73

The first week was very hard, my head gets all cloudy still, hang in there....I suggest walking, I live in the country and love going on hikes and such. Too bad your not closer to someone to walk with...I honestly don't get as much exercise as I should, like you I have a very hard time getting motivated.

Rose2012

Yeah, like I said, I normally would but can't seem to find the crampons for my boots, it's an ice rink out there from the freezing rain. I did go out on the deck just to get some fresh air though.

lilgolden73

I dont recommend walking in ice....I almost killed myself doing that!

Rose2012

I know it'll get easier once I'm back in school in January, I won't be so darn isolated. But nobody put a gun to my head when I signed the lease here, so I have to accept I made that mistake and just live with it.

The motivation is what is hugely lacking right now...although yesterday I had no trouble at all!

Rose2012

Yeah, last thing I need is a broken bone! Imagine? Although that would give me something to do, go to the hospital and wait 8 hours in the emergency...I kid.

Normally though with those crampons, I can walk anywhere on the ice! I don't know where I put them! Frustrating. I tore the place apart this morning.

Small problems seem really large at the moment!

lilgolden73

It is totally hard taking this step to not drink our way through life! You can do it!

Rose2012

Thanks for your support. I know I won't drink, I'm just in despair because I'm lonely and bored.

Actually just thought of something else. I started drinking last November every night to excess...it was cabin fever. I relied on the booze to help me pass the time. I'm sure that's going on a little bit now too, can't get outside safely so I want my old friend back. Another reason to make sure I re-join the gym I think. December will be hell if I don't get out of this place every day.

lilgolden73

Your right, you need to get out and do something for sure or find some other way to keep busy, I don't do well with cabin fever at all..so I completely understand. Good luck, keep coming back here!