back to square one
back to square one
So, I lowered my defenses and let myself get tricked into believing I could have just one. That was Wednesday and I did have just one. Thursday I found myself at my roommates family a few hours away. I got completely blitzed playing poker with some friends and made a fool of myself, again. I'm beyond disappointed with myself. I was sober for 16 days straight, and in that time frame, I was working out almost every day and lost 10 pounds.
I feel that I let all of that go down the drain. I told everyone how great I was feeling, how happy I was, and how I didn't want to go back to being "that guy."
I just got done working out, which usually lifts my spirits up. But not this time, I just feel like complete scum.
I really wanted to get a beer last night when I was almost home because I knew crap was goin hit the fan with my roommate, which it has. I didn't stop and pick one up though, Gotta take the hard road sometimes, I know drinking is the cause of most of my problems in life. Just gotta stay strong, and for me to stay strong, I have to stay sober.
Thanks for reading.
I feel that I let all of that go down the drain. I told everyone how great I was feeling, how happy I was, and how I didn't want to go back to being "that guy."
I just got done working out, which usually lifts my spirits up. But not this time, I just feel like complete scum.
I really wanted to get a beer last night when I was almost home because I knew crap was goin hit the fan with my roommate, which it has. I didn't stop and pick one up though, Gotta take the hard road sometimes, I know drinking is the cause of most of my problems in life. Just gotta stay strong, and for me to stay strong, I have to stay sober.
Thanks for reading.
Sober since October
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: In the world in my eyes...Somewhere I've never been before...
Posts: 7,355
Hi, Buickbeast.
Don't beat yourself too hard. It's still 16 days against 1. Dust yourself off and get back on sober horse. Just don't let this AV play this trick again. It's repetitive, but you are smart and creative, and there's more than one way to beat it.
Take care.
Don't beat yourself too hard. It's still 16 days against 1. Dust yourself off and get back on sober horse. Just don't let this AV play this trick again. It's repetitive, but you are smart and creative, and there's more than one way to beat it.
Take care.
Get serious about your sobriety.
Sounds like you had a great start, but 16 days in you should have not been around booze.
I had to avoid people/places/situations for good 3-4 months to protect my sobriety.
I just did not trust my alcoholic mind, as too many times I promised myself I will NOT drink and ended up hammered. That "one or two" drinks always ended up in 20 more, perhaps not the same night, but it ALWAYS did for me...
There is absolutely no point in beating yourself up, look at this experience constructively and learn from it. Move on. Get a better plan in place and go for it...
Get into a recovery program, many of them out there... You are not alone ! We've all been in your shoes many,many times.... It took me a while, but I finally had enough and ACCEPTED the fact that I can NEVER drink again.... Oh how easy it was to accept powerlessness over alcohol the morning of a massive hangover and fear of what happened the night before........
Stay strong, you can do this !!
Best of luck !
Sounds like you had a great start, but 16 days in you should have not been around booze.
I had to avoid people/places/situations for good 3-4 months to protect my sobriety.
I just did not trust my alcoholic mind, as too many times I promised myself I will NOT drink and ended up hammered. That "one or two" drinks always ended up in 20 more, perhaps not the same night, but it ALWAYS did for me...
There is absolutely no point in beating yourself up, look at this experience constructively and learn from it. Move on. Get a better plan in place and go for it...
Get into a recovery program, many of them out there... You are not alone ! We've all been in your shoes many,many times.... It took me a while, but I finally had enough and ACCEPTED the fact that I can NEVER drink again.... Oh how easy it was to accept powerlessness over alcohol the morning of a massive hangover and fear of what happened the night before........
Stay strong, you can do this !!
Best of luck !
We strive for progress not perfection.
You had a slip, let that be a learning experience for you and move forward.
We all make mistakes, the important thing is what we can learn from them.
You are here and making progress, congrats on rejecting the temptation of getting beer last night.
You had a slip, let that be a learning experience for you and move forward.
We all make mistakes, the important thing is what we can learn from them.
You are here and making progress, congrats on rejecting the temptation of getting beer last night.
Hi Buick,
I agree with all of the above posts, the best thing you can do is start again and remember how good those 16 days felt.
I have had way too many day ones and finally accepted that I could not do this in my own. I saw a doctor, I am meeting every others week with a therapist, have gone to a few meetings as well as a four week education class through my insurance that talked about the effects of alcohol (as a parent, it scared the heck out of me), reading lots, exercise (which it sounds like you already are in the habit of) a few trusted friends, and family members, and my biggest support has been SR.
I know that seems a little much, but I have failed too many times in the past and wanted to cover all of my bases.
Keep Midnight's words in your head 16-1. Keep reading and posting on here. You can do this!!!!
I agree with all of the above posts, the best thing you can do is start again and remember how good those 16 days felt.
I have had way too many day ones and finally accepted that I could not do this in my own. I saw a doctor, I am meeting every others week with a therapist, have gone to a few meetings as well as a four week education class through my insurance that talked about the effects of alcohol (as a parent, it scared the heck out of me), reading lots, exercise (which it sounds like you already are in the habit of) a few trusted friends, and family members, and my biggest support has been SR.
I know that seems a little much, but I have failed too many times in the past and wanted to cover all of my bases.
Keep Midnight's words in your head 16-1. Keep reading and posting on here. You can do this!!!!
glad you came back here to reach out instead of reaching for another drink! the cycle can be vicious! I compare my own attempts at sobriety as a merry go round. I had to get off the ride to stop going around in circles. it's been a tough road for sure but I am thankful beyond words for each sober breath a draw. it's easy to think it "will be different next time"...for me it was...I got more wasted, drank more and made a bigger fool out if myself each time. the "different" was for me that it got worse each time, this is a progressive disease, it gets worse never better.
the last time I drank, I ended up in the ER...now that was different! I almost died you can learn from this experience and grow from it. like someone else posted, it's 16 days against 1....beautifully put! the only failure is when you stop trying!
I will be praying for you! know that we have all been there in some way. I had 102 days or so sober when I relapsed the last time & am on day 15 today. that is progress when I think, ok...that's 117 days to 1.
you can do this buikbeast! hugs!
the last time I drank, I ended up in the ER...now that was different! I almost died you can learn from this experience and grow from it. like someone else posted, it's 16 days against 1....beautifully put! the only failure is when you stop trying!
I will be praying for you! know that we have all been there in some way. I had 102 days or so sober when I relapsed the last time & am on day 15 today. that is progress when I think, ok...that's 117 days to 1.
you can do this buikbeast! hugs!
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