Piglet15

I know I already posted once about this before , but I feel I need to write out how I feel. Right now I have a overwhelming feeling that no one " gets it " , that no one understands how I feel. I know it isn't REALLY true , but no one else around me knows what it is like to have a parent that is a recovering addict or what it is like seeing you mom go through something like that. I hate this feeling because it makes me feel so alone. I just feel like no one else understands it. People try telling me I'm not alone but no one can tell me they know what it is like to feel how I do. I feel like I will never get over this, I will always be the only one who " gets it ". Thanks for listening to me ! I hope everyone had a good Thanksgiving.
Piglet

Ann

Piglet, have you ever tried meetings? Al-anon, CoDA, Nar-Anon? These meetings are filled with people who DO understand and who can help you work through this.

Not many people know what it's like to have a son who is lost in addiction, who has stolen and lied and done terrible things to support his disease, who will die in his sickness if he doesn't find help soon and who I, his mother who loves him more than anyone, cannot save. But some do, people here at SR understand completely, so do people at any meeting in any city in any country of the world.

You don't have to do this alone, Piglet, there are many who truly do understand. You just need to reach out to them and they will be there for you.

Hugs and Happy Thanksgiving to you.

LoveMeNow

Piglet - my daughter is almost 19 yrs old. Her bio mom was evil and a coke addict. (I adopted her but I am the only mother to her). When she was 16/17 yrs old, she found out her Dad was addicted to pain pills as well. She is/was so hurt, angry and disappointed and I don't blame her. She has every right to feel that way. She, too, probably feels "alone." I really wish she would go to therapy but she refuses to do so.

I think her anger is really harming her. She takes it very personally and I understand that, I did too. The thing is....he did not use at us. He, like your mother, had a problem. They are working on it. It doesn't mean they are bad or evil. Yes, they made bad choices, stupid choices that I am sure they wish they could take back. Sadly, they can not. They can only move forward and make amends for what they did.

Prescription pain pill abuse is far more common then we realize. It is a huge problem in our society. I am not minimizing what they did, but I just want you to know - it doesn't mean she did not love you more then anything.

You are not alone. We are here for you!

laurie6781

(((((Piglet)))))

Many of us do 'get it.' Right here on this sight we have a separate forum for
Adult Children of Addicted/Alcoholic parents:

Adult Children of Addicted/Alcoholic Parents - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

And if you are still in your teens or early 20's there are probably some Alateen
meetings in your area, which are filled with young people in the same predic-
ament as you and will certainly understand it.

There were no 'programs' like that when I was growing up and I lived with my
folks ................ daddy had to have the same amount of alcohol every day
and the closer he got to his 'quota' the more he changed into someone I wanted
no part of. My mom ate Valium like candy and if she ran out, OMG. I couldn't
bring friends home, because I never knew what 'mood' my folks would be in.
I hurt because they were hurting and I COULD NOT HELP THEM.

We do understand Sweetie. You can post here or in the Adult Children forum
whenever you need to or want to. Also please check out those Meetings that
Ann mentioned to see which ones are in your area and when including Alateen
if you are the young lady or young gentleman I think you are, lol

Please know that you can vent, rant, rave, scream, cry and yes even laugh
here at the Sober Recovery site, and there will be members that do understand
how much you are hurting.

Please also keep posting and let us know how you are doing as we do care so
very very much.

Lots of love and bunches of hugs,

milo88

Hi piglet,
I know what you mean! Probably everyone here does in their own way. It's a different world when someone you love is struggling with addiction and the things you see and feel are so different from other people around you.
My situation was different from yours in that it was a partner, but I feel forever changed by the things I saw and felt, and others often said things that made it even more difficult either by minimising it or maximising it - if you know what I mean!
It's lonely, I know. I still feel different from others even though my situation is no longer active. But I know from being on this site that many people do go through this, even though each person's experience is different.
It's probably especially hard for you because it's your mother. I can imagine because my own mother had mental health problems, and I know the insecurity and fear that caused inside of me even if she couldn't help it.
I hope you are ok xxx

PresentTense

Dear Piglet,

Never stop writing about how you feel, especially in the environment of SR. It is safe and you will get honest, healthy feedback.

I didn't understand how my parents' alcoholism affected my life until I was in my mid-thirties. One thing I remember well is the feeling that I was "different". My whole life.

Alanon, CoDA, Adult Children of Alcoholics' literature and meetings saved my life. They fed me a steady diet of truth and hope. My heart goes out to you and I just wanted to encourage you to keep reaching out because there is help out there and there are people who understand.

Impurrfect

((Piglet)) - I grew up with parents who didn't use/drink/etc. Their worst vice was cigarettes. Mom died, dad remarried and I have a stepmom who is addicted to any pill she can get her hands on, and she has several doctors that help her out.

In addiction, I'm a recovering addict. I live with my dad (who has become a major codie) and stepmom and it's hard.

I GET what you are going through. It doesn't even matter that I know all there is to know about addiction, neither will listen to me.

The best I can do is work on me, detach, and cling to SR.

Hugs and prayers,

Amy

Piglet15

Thank you everyone for listening to me and writing back ! The last couple days have been hard for me , especially being around the rest of my family. Being around them makes me feel alone , it's like even the closest people to me don't understand. But it is probably a good thing for me because I need to learn to not let how they act ( they are all happy and fine ) make me feel like I HAVE to feel the same way they do. I know I need to work on getting over the past , but just because everyone else seems like they already are doesn't mean I am wrong for taking a little longer. Lol saying all this is a lot easier than doing it. But I really do appreciate people giving me feedback and sharing their stories , because I can see I am really not as alone as I feel. I hope that all made sense .
Piglet

laurie6781

(((((Piglet)))))

You are really doing very well. Coming here for help, going into chat, listening and reading what folks are saying, that YES they do totally understand!!

You will get through this at your own speed, not mine, not your family members,
just YOURS. Everyone of us process trauma and stress differently. Some folks,
just 'bury it' and take on the 'Pollyanna Sunshine Attitude' of everything is just
Fine.

I learned the true meaning of the work 'Fine' years ago:

F = f*(k*d up

I = insecure

N = neurotic

E = emotional

roflmao, once I heard that I rarely used the word 'fine' in reference to myself again.

You post just as often as you need to, want to, don't want, etc we are here for you.

You also have my numbers if you want to use them.

Love and hugs,