Eunectes

Had half a bottle of cider left because I was terrified I was going to hallucinate during the night but I just stayed up all night terrified and took some valerian root, had a couple of mini nightmares, woke up screaming? Anyway, the family and all my friends are through with me but I poured out the cider and took the dog out, hopefully get something to eat to stay down later and get to a meeting tomorrow, and then get my flat tidied and back to work on Monday, whether that is a good idea yet I don't know, but I was unemployed for two years and have only been in this job for a month, stopped trying cause I guess I figured work would 'fix' me. The bonus I suppose is when I am through the training it will only be three days a week, plenty of time for meetings and work on myself....ah I don't know.

Sorry for the ranting I've got nobody to talk to

Sapling

Talk away...Try and keep things simple...Just do what you have have to do...To not pick up a drink today.

Eunectes

Oh well my mum has offered to take me to a meeting tonight so that's good, gives me a chance to show her I'm willing. Glad I poured that stuff out now, been able to tidy up a bit and do a washing. Baby steps I suppose

Sapling

That's all you can do....I just got back from a great meeting. The place I go runs meetings 24 hours starting at midnight last night and puts out a full Thanksgiving dinner today at one. I'm cooking for family...But I'll probably drop by there again later to hang out with some friends. You don't want to be alone if you can avoid it.

Dee74

all sounds positive to me Eunectes
good stuff!

D

Hevyn

Yes, baby steps. You sound determined to kick that stuff out of your life. You can do this. No more misery.

Impurrfect

((Eunectes)) - Sounds like good stuff to me!

Hugs and prayers,

Amy

Anna

Yes, you are doing the right thing by taking some small, but important steps. And, I drank when I worked, and I drank when I didn't work - didn't make any difference to me, sad to say. I think when you decide enough is enough, it will work for you.

Fernaceman

We are here for you!! If you need to rant, RANT. If you have questions, ask away. If you would like to hear experiences, we definitely have those, too.

Anything to help another out!

Eunectes

Back from the meeting, had some stuff to eat and plenty of water plus another valerian root capsule to help with any anxiety, and it may be a placebo effect but its helped. Didn't want to go and get a prescription of benzos again, I feel it's just too tempting to abuse them. Decided I'm going back to work, I need an ability to make financial amends and I have a dog to look after, plus it will give my week some structure. Got a flat to sort out the next three days too so gonna be busy, thanks for reading guys!

Fernaceman

Glad you went. Valerian definitely does help out with anxiety. Be careful, though, seeking relief from outside sources without a doctor's recommendation. That is how self-medicating began for me in the first place (first with alcohol, then was on to different things).

If you do go to a doctor, as much as your addiction and disease tells you to not let yourself be known as an addict, it is the right thing to do. I would consciously NOT tell a doctor I was an addict, because that would take (in my mind) the possibility of getting prescribed something I could abuse off the table. My disease wanted there to be that 1% chance that it could get something it so dearly craved.

Eunectes

All the doctors are well aware of my problems, had quite a few detoxes unfortunately, just time to do it myself I think. Had the valerian root in the cupboard for months it's not something I have ever abused, doesn't have a great enough effect for someone like me!

Fernaceman

That's exactly my point. The valerian worked for me for a while, but eventually I wanted something with a little more oomph, if ya know what I mean.

Eunectes

Ah gotcha, I'm only using it for 3-5 days till the initial physical symptoms go, then I'll wing it! Lol. Attending meetings and reading of course

nogard

Thats fantastic
Thats a miracle for us.
Not to drink or pick up a drug for one day, 24 hours
Such a victory.

Well done