Woke up naked in hotel room.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Northern California
Posts: 23
Woke up naked in hotel room.
Hello, I am new to this site and to the idea of recovery. I recently had a very scary blackout where I last remember doing shots at the bar with friends and woke up the next morning naked in a hotel room alone, I did not pay for the hotel and did not drive there. Which can only lead be to believe the worst.
I come from a long line of drinkers, never were self proclaimed "alcoholics".
My mother has warned me for years that I have my dad's genes and can't control how much I drink.
I am in my early thirties and drink a couple times a week due to boredom, for a mood elevator, because my friends do, etc.
Once I get that first drink in, I can't stop. If my cup was empty I would think about nothing but filling in again, each time stronger and stronger.
I have had to call in to work a few times and have missed out on social "non drinking" events due to hangover.
I often won't attend a social gathering unless there is alcohol involved.
Since this recent scary event, I always thought I had it under control, not realizing who I was hurting around me.
What's a good starting point? I am an atheist and don't think AA would be a good fit.
Please advise. And thank you for letting me say what I have been unable to admit to anyone.
I come from a long line of drinkers, never were self proclaimed "alcoholics".
My mother has warned me for years that I have my dad's genes and can't control how much I drink.
I am in my early thirties and drink a couple times a week due to boredom, for a mood elevator, because my friends do, etc.
Once I get that first drink in, I can't stop. If my cup was empty I would think about nothing but filling in again, each time stronger and stronger.
I have had to call in to work a few times and have missed out on social "non drinking" events due to hangover.
I often won't attend a social gathering unless there is alcohol involved.
Since this recent scary event, I always thought I had it under control, not realizing who I was hurting around me.
What's a good starting point? I am an atheist and don't think AA would be a good fit.
Please advise. And thank you for letting me say what I have been unable to admit to anyone.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,369
Hi McKenna
That's definitely a 'pause for thought' moment.
there's many recovery groups around these days outside of AA - SMART, LifeRing and Rational Recovery are some of the more well-known ones.
I recommend you also visit our Secular Connections forum if you think you may benefit from a non 12 step approach
D
That's definitely a 'pause for thought' moment.
there's many recovery groups around these days outside of AA - SMART, LifeRing and Rational Recovery are some of the more well-known ones.
I recommend you also visit our Secular Connections forum if you think you may benefit from a non 12 step approach
D
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 1,572
McKenna, the only requirement for AA is a desire to stop drinking. Don't let anyone dissuade you or tell you otherwise.
That being said, check out rational recovery, it is a newer and interesting way of identifying the addictive voice, that part of you that convinces you to keep drinking despite overwhelming evidence in your rational mind that it is obviously detrimental.
This is a great place full of helpful people with a huge variety of experience.
Welcome, and hope you stick around.
That being said, check out rational recovery, it is a newer and interesting way of identifying the addictive voice, that part of you that convinces you to keep drinking despite overwhelming evidence in your rational mind that it is obviously detrimental.
This is a great place full of helpful people with a huge variety of experience.
Welcome, and hope you stick around.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Northern California
Posts: 23
Thanks for responding, the more I read these posts, the more tears I never knew I had come to fruition. I didn't know how bad it was until now. I need to stop, I need to dea with a lot of crap that I have shoved under the rug.
I work in healthcare and a lot of my nurse friends also "deal" w
I work in healthcare and a lot of my nurse friends also "deal" w
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Northern California
Posts: 23
The part I find scariest, (should be the black out moments), is how I am going to deal in social settings, deal with stress, boredom, and the thought that I won't ever be as happy and free the way alcohol makes me feel.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Los Angeles, California
Posts: 8,326
McKenna,
the good news is, we do recover, we do go on with happy, healthy lives! It's work but well worth it. AA is a good program. It helped me a lot with learning how to live sober. I would suggest you check out the women's stag meetings to start. AA general offices can tell you when and where these meetings are and help you with any questions you have.
For me, AVRT and Rational Recovery helped me the most. The theory of the addictive voice made it so much easier to quit altogether! This link may be helpful for you. Give it a read.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...iscussion.html
SR is great for support and information. Friendly and helpful folks who understand.
Love from Lenina
the good news is, we do recover, we do go on with happy, healthy lives! It's work but well worth it. AA is a good program. It helped me a lot with learning how to live sober. I would suggest you check out the women's stag meetings to start. AA general offices can tell you when and where these meetings are and help you with any questions you have.
For me, AVRT and Rational Recovery helped me the most. The theory of the addictive voice made it so much easier to quit altogether! This link may be helpful for you. Give it a read.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...iscussion.html
SR is great for support and information. Friendly and helpful folks who understand.
Love from Lenina
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Northern California
Posts: 23
Is it hard for everyone at first? I don't want to admit this to my family and friends. I think once I say it out loud,they will rain on me all my past "performances" due to drinking. I don't need judgement right now, I need acceptance. And I am afraid everything I was trying to bury will surface all at once. I guess therapy is in order as well?
I like the idea of an all woman support group.
I like the idea of an all woman support group.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: London
Posts: 1,384
Originally Posted by McKenna 
The part I find scariest, (should be the black out moments), is how I am going to deal in social settings, deal with stress, boredom, and the thought that I won't ever be as happy and free the way alcohol makes me feel.
You have everything to gain and will be losing nothing.
You are conditioned to believe that you need it to enjoy life, you do not..at all.
Maybe I ma being harsh , but after what happened to you and will probably happen to you again if you continue drinking, the answer is so simple just stop poisoning your brain and it wont happen.
Good luck and welcome.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Northern California
Posts: 23
Thank you so much, what I do need is to realize that I put myself in these situations, no one but me. Yes, this would happen again most likely, as my drinking as escalated to black out everytime. I need to detach from my drinking buddies and find a healthy outlet that I know I am capable of. I just need to get back to those days when I didn't need alcohol to get me through every emotion. I could always find a reason to drink.
My friends are all drinkers and are out as we speak getting hammered.
I need to find a way to leave them behind after 15 years of friendship.
My friends are all drinkers and are out as we speak getting hammered.
I need to find a way to leave them behind after 15 years of friendship.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Los Angeles, California
Posts: 8,326
((((mcKenna)))
It's an insanity. the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous describes it as cunning and baffling. to me, it just seemed so crazy why I couldn't stop at one. why I forget how horrible it made me feel, how it was ruining my health and my life.
Yet, I took a very long time to recognize I needed to quit it. No drinking at all. No feeding the Beast as it is called in RR.
The very hardest part is knowing you need help. You've done that so you're already ahead of the game!
SR is open 24 hours a day so stop in whenever you can.
Love from Lenina
It's an insanity. the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous describes it as cunning and baffling. to me, it just seemed so crazy why I couldn't stop at one. why I forget how horrible it made me feel, how it was ruining my health and my life.
Yet, I took a very long time to recognize I needed to quit it. No drinking at all. No feeding the Beast as it is called in RR.
The very hardest part is knowing you need help. You've done that so you're already ahead of the game!
SR is open 24 hours a day so stop in whenever you can.
Love from Lenina
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Northern California
Posts: 23
Thank you so much. I already feel the support and know where to check in. I'm sure on some level I have always been ashamed of it, feeding the beast, but why it took me this long to admit that it's a problem is hard to swallow.
I'm not sure who, or if, I should tell anyone, I don't want to be labeled from here on out. It makes me feel weak, self-serving, and a total mess of a person to admit it.
I'm not sure who, or if, I should tell anyone, I don't want to be labeled from here on out. It makes me feel weak, self-serving, and a total mess of a person to admit it.
12 Step Recovered Alcoholic
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 6,613
Originally Posted by McKenna
What's a good starting point? I am an atheist and don't think AA would be a good fit.
Please advise. And thank you for letting me say what I have been unable to admit to anyone.
Please advise. And thank you for letting me say what I have been unable to admit to anyone.
a good starting point is to keep an open mind. "Doctor's Opinion" in the book Alcoholics Anonymous gives a pretty fair description of the alcoholic from a medical standpoint. It may be useful for you to identify the exact nature of you problem and from there you can evaluate possible solutions. Many problem drinkers can and do get well through means other than AA.
AA is the last place anyone wants to end up and most if not all present day AA members have tried every other option first. It seems to be the place to go when all else has failed. That was me anyway. I was probably more agnostic than atheist, but in reality I think it was my pride, rather than any intellectual objection to spritual things, that kept me away.
Good luck on you journey, I hope you find your solution.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,369
I live in a very small town and am afraid if I go to a meeting I will be recognized and judged. I work professionally in town where I see a lot of people.
A lot of people in meeting based groups like AA or SMART go to meetings a few towns over or online meetings.
RR is not meeting based so that shouldn't be an issue
D
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,369
You've found a good place.
We tend to be straight talkers here, but we really do understand...we've been there - you're not alone
the good news is you never have to feel like this again
D
We tend to be straight talkers here, but we really do understand...we've been there - you're not alone
the good news is you never have to feel like this again
D
Member
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Los Angeles, California
Posts: 8,326
McKenna, all the folks in an AA meeting are there for the same reason. Please don't worry. no one goes to AA to see who's there! Most AA'ers are very respectful of the Anonymous part.
the AA hotline is generally staffed by volunteers 24 hours. you can call anytime!
In the beginning, I suggest you stick with the women. there is no judgment because we've all been there.
If AA isn't for you but you like the 12'Step plan, you can check out Women for Sobriety. google it. I really preferred the philosophy but there wasn't a convenient for me meeting in my area. give it a look!
Love from Lenina
the AA hotline is generally staffed by volunteers 24 hours. you can call anytime!
In the beginning, I suggest you stick with the women. there is no judgment because we've all been there.
If AA isn't for you but you like the 12'Step plan, you can check out Women for Sobriety. google it. I really preferred the philosophy but there wasn't a convenient for me meeting in my area. give it a look!
Love from Lenina
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