Kicking a alcohol/cocaine addiction
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2012
Posts: 54
Kicking a alcohol/cocaine addiction
Hi there,
I seeked peer advice about how I was wanting to stop doing cocaine when I was drinking. A lot of the advice I received was that I needed to stop drinking in order to stop using cocaine. This is because I only used cocaine when I consumed alcohol.
A year later I still am using both. The last month has been bad, drinking and snorting 3 times a week. I will add when I drink I binge drink (12+ drinks a binge).
I am 21 years old and currently am an Licensed Practical Nurse, I have been for a year. My career is everything to me and I went through so much to get it. My drug/alcohol use has never interferred directly with my work (a few sick days actually).
The majority of my friends drink. They don't see it as an issue. I however have suffered significant financial loss from partying and cannot see a future for me if I continue to be like this.
I am commiting myself to not even have one drink. However I am going on a roadtrip to a concert in early december and it would be a blasphemy in the eyes of my friends to be the sober one. Although there will be no drugs down there, I feel if I am dedicating my life to the sober side I should start with a challenge like this. I just don't know how I will tell my friends I am going sober? Any thoughts suggestions? I would much appreciate!
Thanks,
D
I seeked peer advice about how I was wanting to stop doing cocaine when I was drinking. A lot of the advice I received was that I needed to stop drinking in order to stop using cocaine. This is because I only used cocaine when I consumed alcohol.
A year later I still am using both. The last month has been bad, drinking and snorting 3 times a week. I will add when I drink I binge drink (12+ drinks a binge).
I am 21 years old and currently am an Licensed Practical Nurse, I have been for a year. My career is everything to me and I went through so much to get it. My drug/alcohol use has never interferred directly with my work (a few sick days actually).
The majority of my friends drink. They don't see it as an issue. I however have suffered significant financial loss from partying and cannot see a future for me if I continue to be like this.
I am commiting myself to not even have one drink. However I am going on a roadtrip to a concert in early december and it would be a blasphemy in the eyes of my friends to be the sober one. Although there will be no drugs down there, I feel if I am dedicating my life to the sober side I should start with a challenge like this. I just don't know how I will tell my friends I am going sober? Any thoughts suggestions? I would much appreciate!
Thanks,
D
Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: London
Posts: 57
Hi Dharmabum2012 
I'm feeling pretty blank at the mo and of no use to anyone, sorry, but I just wanted to stop by your thread and say 'hello and welcome aboard'. You will get so much support here and you will fathom your way through this. Hold tight and have faith
Kat x
I'm feeling pretty blank at the mo and of no use to anyone, sorry, but I just wanted to stop by your thread and say 'hello and welcome aboard'. You will get so much support here and you will fathom your way through this. Hold tight and have faith
Kat x
Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: London
Posts: 57
I'll try again.... 
The harsh truth is you just need to see how alcohol/drugs have poisoned everything around and within you. It's not your friend, it's quite the opposite. It's no longer fun. It's become a necessity. And there's only one way it's heading....and the end result will be the death of everything precious in your life. And eventually it will lead to the end of your life. Simple.
It is a grieving process when we give up our relationship with booze....I'm only 6wks in. I'm 37 now and drink and drugs have blighted my life for 22yrs. I only smoked or did coke/crack when I was drinking. I only liked to drink when I did those. So I was basically mashed the entire time!
Regarding support....I haven't gone down the AA route because I personally feel I don't need it. I am an atheist. BUT, I won't discount it should I ever feel the need. I won't discount any form of help should I ever need it!! All you need to do is stop abusing yourself and get any form of help that will see you through. Be prepared to feel cross, angry, lost....but know it leads to clarity, happiness and being able to get up and feeling proud of yourself.
My friends are big drinkers and recreational drug users.....some have hurt me by dropping me like a lead balloon. My closest friend hasn't even contacted me to see how I am. I appear to have turned in to an alien in some eyes!! But I've also found support and strength from people I never would've imagined to be there for me. I now see things with clear eyes. If my friends only like me as a drunk and the party animal....take that away and I guess that's all our friendships were based on....and without alcohol, there were no foundations to them. People also find it uncomfortable because you make them question their own habits and they may not want to do that. I've been quite open with friends and family about my problems. So, luckily, I don't feel I have this dirty secret anymore.....my dirty laundry has been aired. Only one or two have actively encouraged me to drink...
Having gone from being to every party going, I haven't been to any social function as yet (except for half an hour in a pub and I left because I didn't want to smell booze and the people were boring me tbh) SO with regards to your roadtrip?? Hmmmmm, only you know your inner strength....I know I would find it very hard in reality. But that's just me. I would say you need to stay away from your normal behaviour and triggers. It's very early on to give yourself such hard 'challenges'. This is a life change....don't push yourself to see how far you can go before you snap. If you should crumble and give in, imagine how you'll feel....and you will continue drinking because you think you can't keep it together for one roadtrip. And that's your alcohol voice making you weak. It wants you to sabotage things so you keep drinking. My party invites have slowed down but hey, I'm quite pleased about that at the moment. Until I've healed more. Be kind to yourself, especially in the early stages of recovery. Your true friends will understand and support you in this. But you will have to make compromises between what you WANT to do and what is good for you.
I'm rambling...and probably making no sense whatsoever. I feel fuzzy headed today. And tired and a bit pissed off. But, hey, I have to accept it and go with the flow.
We're alive so let's make a better life for ourselves yeah?!?!
All the best x
The harsh truth is you just need to see how alcohol/drugs have poisoned everything around and within you. It's not your friend, it's quite the opposite. It's no longer fun. It's become a necessity. And there's only one way it's heading....and the end result will be the death of everything precious in your life. And eventually it will lead to the end of your life. Simple.
It is a grieving process when we give up our relationship with booze....I'm only 6wks in. I'm 37 now and drink and drugs have blighted my life for 22yrs. I only smoked or did coke/crack when I was drinking. I only liked to drink when I did those. So I was basically mashed the entire time!
Regarding support....I haven't gone down the AA route because I personally feel I don't need it. I am an atheist. BUT, I won't discount it should I ever feel the need. I won't discount any form of help should I ever need it!! All you need to do is stop abusing yourself and get any form of help that will see you through. Be prepared to feel cross, angry, lost....but know it leads to clarity, happiness and being able to get up and feeling proud of yourself.
My friends are big drinkers and recreational drug users.....some have hurt me by dropping me like a lead balloon. My closest friend hasn't even contacted me to see how I am. I appear to have turned in to an alien in some eyes!! But I've also found support and strength from people I never would've imagined to be there for me. I now see things with clear eyes. If my friends only like me as a drunk and the party animal....take that away and I guess that's all our friendships were based on....and without alcohol, there were no foundations to them. People also find it uncomfortable because you make them question their own habits and they may not want to do that. I've been quite open with friends and family about my problems. So, luckily, I don't feel I have this dirty secret anymore.....my dirty laundry has been aired. Only one or two have actively encouraged me to drink...
Having gone from being to every party going, I haven't been to any social function as yet (except for half an hour in a pub and I left because I didn't want to smell booze and the people were boring me tbh) SO with regards to your roadtrip?? Hmmmmm, only you know your inner strength....I know I would find it very hard in reality. But that's just me. I would say you need to stay away from your normal behaviour and triggers. It's very early on to give yourself such hard 'challenges'. This is a life change....don't push yourself to see how far you can go before you snap. If you should crumble and give in, imagine how you'll feel....and you will continue drinking because you think you can't keep it together for one roadtrip. And that's your alcohol voice making you weak. It wants you to sabotage things so you keep drinking. My party invites have slowed down but hey, I'm quite pleased about that at the moment. Until I've healed more. Be kind to yourself, especially in the early stages of recovery. Your true friends will understand and support you in this. But you will have to make compromises between what you WANT to do and what is good for you.
I'm rambling...and probably making no sense whatsoever. I feel fuzzy headed today. And tired and a bit pissed off. But, hey, I have to accept it and go with the flow.
We're alive so let's make a better life for ourselves yeah?!?!
All the best x
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 929
You should consider going to see your doctor and seeking help.
Have you considered NA or AA? YOu don't need to believe in God to attend a meeting.
If your friends booze and drug hard...maybe it's time you found some sober friends.
What's more important to you, partying with your friends or living a healthy, productive and happy life?
Alcohol will destroy your life and adding cocaine to the mix, will hasten that.
Have you considered NA or AA? YOu don't need to believe in God to attend a meeting.
If your friends booze and drug hard...maybe it's time you found some sober friends.
What's more important to you, partying with your friends or living a healthy, productive and happy life?
Alcohol will destroy your life and adding cocaine to the mix, will hasten that.
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: "I'm not lost for I know where I am. But however, where I am may be lost ..."
Posts: 5,273
I have lots of friends who drink, but they fully support me in my decision not to. In fact, my friends would punch me in the face if they saw me drinking lol. Differientiate between your friends and your aquaintances and your using buddies. A true friend doesn't have to have matching habits, they just have to have your best interests at heart. I'm going to try and convince some drunk(s) why it's best for me to quit and hope for their approval and encourgement on the matter?? I think not. Anyone who thinks I should drink will be shown the door. That's just stupid.
You won't regret choosing to quit. Addiction is soul sucking. Being clean and free is badass. I see your screen name refers to Dharma...maybe look to your practice? I would also look to the many ways presented here on SR as to how to end your addiction. I like the secular forum. Maybe you will too.
You won't regret choosing to quit. Addiction is soul sucking. Being clean and free is badass. I see your screen name refers to Dharma...maybe look to your practice? I would also look to the many ways presented here on SR as to how to end your addiction. I like the secular forum. Maybe you will too.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2012
Posts: 54
Thanks guys I much appreciate the advice. You guys are right my true friends will support my decision. I've come clean with my parents and my roommate who is very close to me. I have looked into seeking a weekly support group however I am atheist. I am going to check out the secular section of this page. My mother is buddhist and she has passed on important lessons and philosophies to me, however, the last few years I have neglected this due to stress, and loneliness. Thanks for the thought on looking further into buddhism I feel I can gain the strength to recover through that.
D
D
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,447
Welcome,
I think Buddhism could be a good start on your journey to recovery. I had to find a spiritual (not religious) connection before I could motivate myself to stop drinking for good.
I couldn't be around people who were drinking alcohol for many months when I stopped drinking. It just didn't work for me. As you said, your true friends will support you, and don't feel pressured to offer an explanation to everyone about why you're not drinking. A simple, "No, thanks" can go a long way.
I think Buddhism could be a good start on your journey to recovery. I had to find a spiritual (not religious) connection before I could motivate myself to stop drinking for good.
I couldn't be around people who were drinking alcohol for many months when I stopped drinking. It just didn't work for me. As you said, your true friends will support you, and don't feel pressured to offer an explanation to everyone about why you're not drinking. A simple, "No, thanks" can go a long way.
everything is already ok
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Melbourne Victoria Australia
Posts: 19,787
Welcome to SR for me keeping away from situations where I might use was paramount in the first year.
The advice you have here is good. I try to remember as I go through my day that I have a dis ease (addiction) who's only purpose is to kill me.
And I am clean today as I honour the desire within to stay clean and live life
for me keeping away from situations where I might use was paramount in the first year. The advice you have here is good. I try to remember as I go through my day that I have a dis ease (addiction) who's only purpose is to kill me.
And I am clean today as I honour the desire within to stay clean and live life
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2012
Posts: 54
Did anyone struggle with the social aspect of drinking, I feel as though alot of my social life will deteriorate yet possibly branch out to some new social gatherings. I feel as though I have the strength to say no, however sometimes I will need an excuse not to drink. Tonight I had to work a night shift and had a girl over I really enjoy being with. My roommates and their friends came over and were drinking. Just the smell of the whiskey made me giddy. I didn't however give into my impulse as I had a guest and work too attend. This crutch isn't going to always be there for me too fall back on. Have you guys ever made excuses up to not drink or did you simply just say "sorry no thanks, i am in recovery?"
D
D
Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: London
Posts: 57
I've taken the route of being brutally honest. That way hopefully people will understand, not offer me drinks, or encourage me to take part in any destructive beahviour.
I'm nearly 6wks without a drink and haven't involved myself in any social activities....other than events for my daughter. I've had to remove myself from my 'normal' behaviour/ route to shops/pubs etc as I don't feel strong enough yet.
Only today a friend has sowed a very tempting seed.....but I've promised my daughter a girlie night in, so I don't have an option.... Not long ago that wouldn't have stopped me but this is how I know I'm totally committed this time.
I keep focussed on where I want to be.....and alcohol will never allow me to get to that place. It will sabotage my hopes and dreams.....for me AND my daughter....and that will make me want to give up. It can't happen. I will fight with all my strength for it not to happen.
Wishing you the best x
I'm nearly 6wks without a drink and haven't involved myself in any social activities....other than events for my daughter. I've had to remove myself from my 'normal' behaviour/ route to shops/pubs etc as I don't feel strong enough yet.
Only today a friend has sowed a very tempting seed.....but I've promised my daughter a girlie night in, so I don't have an option.... Not long ago that wouldn't have stopped me but this is how I know I'm totally committed this time.
I keep focussed on where I want to be.....and alcohol will never allow me to get to that place. It will sabotage my hopes and dreams.....for me AND my daughter....and that will make me want to give up. It can't happen. I will fight with all my strength for it not to happen.
Wishing you the best x
Not Alone
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: South East UK
Posts: 1,513
I was working in a pretty responsible job and abusing cocaine and alcohol pretty much daily. I was completely blind to it but it was ruining everything. When I stopped I had to change my friends. You find out who your true friends are when you get clean and sober. Your friends may think it's blasphemy for you to be sober but cocaine and alcohol create a toxic chemical in your body that is very deadly. You gotta know everytime you use you are literally dicing with death. And at the end of the day it all boils down to this. Would you rather your friends be slightly pissed off or would you rather be dead?
Natom.
Natom.
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: "I'm not lost for I know where I am. But however, where I am may be lost ..."
Posts: 5,273
I just say "I don't drink". I am very social. To borrow the words of a fellow SR member (I think it's drunktx) "I party like a rock star, without alcohol."
What is it that you cannot do unless you are drinking? What activities do you enjoy where booze is a necessity? When I asked myself these questions, I couldn't find anything that I absolutely needed to be drinking for. To my surprise, all experiences were enhanced by not drinking.
I'm an adrenaline junkie, so I do some pretty brazen things. My friends say I'm "wild" but I prefer the term "fearless". Not drinking makes life's experiences crisper, less dull. and that's how I like it.
Dharma...get back to your practice. Find the things that make you happy and do them. Do them alot. Eventually, you will wonder why you ever drank in the first place. To me, freedom is the high.
What is it that you cannot do unless you are drinking? What activities do you enjoy where booze is a necessity? When I asked myself these questions, I couldn't find anything that I absolutely needed to be drinking for. To my surprise, all experiences were enhanced by not drinking.
I'm an adrenaline junkie, so I do some pretty brazen things. My friends say I'm "wild" but I prefer the term "fearless". Not drinking makes life's experiences crisper, less dull. and that's how I like it.
Dharma...get back to your practice. Find the things that make you happy and do them. Do them alot. Eventually, you will wonder why you ever drank in the first place. To me, freedom is the high.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Vashon WA
Posts: 1,035
I'm now just over a year of not drinking after twenty five years at full throttle. I have gone to shows and bars and enjoyed it more than I could have imagined. There are more sober people out there than I ever knew--it's like a secret party society--and my true friends who are drinkers appreciate having a sober driver.
That said, I was very fragile in the beginning and I think anyone who is doing this should give themselves permission to not do stuff that could make them even more uncomfortable. Telling people that "I'm not drinking today/this month/this year" is always enough. The rest is actually no one else's business.
You've made a good decision. I give thanks that coke never tickled my fancy but many of my friends over the years have suffered from it. It's a horrible horrible drug. The good news is that if it doesn't kill you can make a full recovery IMHO.
That said, I was very fragile in the beginning and I think anyone who is doing this should give themselves permission to not do stuff that could make them even more uncomfortable. Telling people that "I'm not drinking today/this month/this year" is always enough. The rest is actually no one else's business.
You've made a good decision. I give thanks that coke never tickled my fancy but many of my friends over the years have suffered from it. It's a horrible horrible drug. The good news is that if it doesn't kill you can make a full recovery IMHO.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: tn
Posts: 101
if your friends dont want to be around you unless your drinking then they are not your friends. be strong and keep to being sober. you will find out who your true friends are and the rest can kiss your a**. you need to take care of you!!! this site can help you with any issue you have. again good luck and god bless!!!
Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 654
Welcome!
I really hope you reconsider going on that trip. Even if you go on the trip telling yourself you will not drink, please be honest with yourself and not overestimate how much control you think you will have so early in sobriety.
I really hope you reconsider going on that trip. Even if you go on the trip telling yourself you will not drink, please be honest with yourself and not overestimate how much control you think you will have so early in sobriety.
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