mfox

Happy Thanksgiving! The past year has been a whirlwind and so much has changed. I am truly blessed and have so much to be grateful for. Beautiful and amazing children, my home, my job, wonderful and supportive friends ... and all of you here on this forum who have given me knowledge, hope, strength and support. You have all let me know I am not alone in this and I am eternally grateful.

I am getting myself back - finally. And for that I am thankful, too. AH has been living with his mom in another state for nearly 2 months and as cold as it sounds, I just don't really miss him. I miss the IDEA if him, but I don't miss HIM. The fact is, he isn't the man I fell in love with. Oh, he looks like him and sounds like him, but he most definitely is someone else - someone I don't like and someone I don't miss.

I haven't spoken to him in two days - because, like so many of you here, I did something he didn't like - I started focusing on ME, MY family, MY friends and MY life. Because I am now doing things in my life without him - because I'm not laying in bed, unable to function, emaciated, crying out his name - because I am not there at his beck and call - I am a horrible person and I am the reason we can't make our relationship work. I went to a friend's house for her son's birthday party and I didn't answer my phone when he called. So he screamed at me, called me names, swore that if I don't start telling him how much I love him and want him and need him that he is going to smash his phone, never speak to me again, and find someone else who appreciates him. Alrighty then! So I guess he'll just have to do all that because I will not be threatened or manipulated by him anymore.

I have stopped believing what he says and started paying attention to his actions. He SAYS he is going to start a recovery program, get a job, make things right with me and my kids, and get his life back on track . He SAYS he is never going to do drugs again. Yep, that is what he SAYS. What has he done? Well, in two months he has went looking for a job ONCE. He has not attended a single meeting. Oh, he did join a gym so he can "start feeling better about himself". He is also still calling the drug dealer he "sold" his motorcycle to trying to "get the money he's owed for his motorcycle" (apparently this is one of those upstanding, honest and loyal drug dealers who actually care about anything other than themselves and who will most definitely pay for a motorcycle that they already have the pink slip on). He has made friends with an alcoholic and active drug addict - those are his only friends there. Call me crazy, but somehow this just doesn't sound like recovery.

A year ago I would have felt so guilty and wouldn't have been able to stand up to him like I can now. A year ago I would have questioned myself and my motives and tried to make everything better. A year ago I couldn't just walk away. But this time, when he threatened me, I said "You have a nice night." and before I could hit 'end' on my phone I could hear him scream "f--- you!" into his phone.

So, again, happy Thanksgiving. I have so very much to be thankful for. For serenity, hope, peace and the laughter I have in my life. For the quality, drama-free time I get to spend with my children now that he is gone. For all of the things I have been blessed with and been too preoccupied with HIM to enjoy and to treasure.

I wish all of you a wonderful holiday! I hope you all eat too much, take lots of naps, enjoy time with your loved ones and laugh until your dimples hurt. Happy Thanksgiving!

eveleivibe

Well done.

Your ex sounds like a spoilt brat n you're best away from him. If he wants to smash his phone because you aunt told him you love him let him go ahead n do it.

Glad you are working on YOU! Keep going, you deserve to be happy xoxo

jewel14

wow...what a great post. if i didn't know better I would have thought you were describing my ex.. thank you for reminding me how blessed I am. Happy Thanksgiving please excuse typos using a kindle not so easy to type!